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Original poster

DM doesn't want to get a cleaner because "they're for posh people"

101 replies

CleanerConundrums · 21/10/2024 07:24

My mum is in her early 60s. She doesn't want to acknowledge that she should be slowing down at this point in her life. I think she should be taking things easier as she enters the autumn of her life. She does all the cleaning in her house herself. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of her climbing on ladders, kneeling down, mopping the floor and hoovering every day. To that end I have suggested the idea of her hiring a cleaner. I would even be willing to pay for them myself. Whenever I mention it, she balks at the idea. She has said that only posh people get cleaners. I see plenty of posts on MN from people with cleaners, some of whom are younger than my mum. I'm sure that most of them wouldn't consider themselves to be posh. She doesn't have a gardener either, which is another matter. What are people's thoughts on this?

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 21/10/2024 08:03

My friend is 60 and has a 10 year old!
it’s not old!

Moonshiners · 21/10/2024 08:04

My mum is always up bloody ladders painting, or changing light bulbs using secateurs. She is 82 and is adamant that it keeps her fit and she is. She is very strong does loads of gardening and cleaning and I will worry when she stops!

Devilsmommy · 21/10/2024 08:04

LeopardPrintIsANeutraI · 21/10/2024 07:28

I was a cleaner for years, and my then DP was a gardener. We both avoided working for "posh" people because they tended to see/treat us as "staff". We deliberately only worked for "normal" (mainly elderly) clients who needed help around the house and garden. Like your mum, in fact!

Tell your mum that most cleaners genuinely prefer working for nice normal people who just need an extra pair of hands!

I was a cleaner too and this is so true

Flustration · 21/10/2024 08:05

Someone needs to break the news to Kier Starmer, Angela Merkel, Kamala Harris and half the people who run our world that they're now in the autumn of their lives and should be slowing down...

MSLRT · 21/10/2024 08:07

Blimey I’m a similar age. Quite capable of cleaning, hoovering, going up and down the loft ladder, redecorating, gardening, doing diy around the house…. Don’t write her off. She’s in her 60s, not 80s.

eurochick · 21/10/2024 08:07

Um, are you very young? 60s is not the point when you need to be slowing down. It is the time to stay active so you don't seize up. The poshness thing is obvious nonsense but unless she has medical conditions that mean she shouldn't clean or garden it is good for her to stay active.

DrinkElephants · 21/10/2024 08:10

Early 60s??? She’s not old yet!

My mum is early 60s and goes to the gym every day, is learning javelin and runs 10k multiple times a week. In addition to many walking holidays. Definitely not the age to be slowing down!!! It’s the start of retirement so it’s time to do everything you want.

Yes my mum is maybe the more extreme end but early 60s is not the time to be slowing down. Late 70s/ early 80s maybe.

My in laws are both in their 70s and absolutely capable of cleaning.

Unless your mum has any health condition then your being really patronising suggesting she gets a cleaner and I’m not surprised she’s pushing back.

Schoolchoicesucks · 21/10/2024 08:12

At 60 if she's in good health then she probably doesn't "need" to slow down. Is she still working? Nothing wrong with paying for a cleaner if you are working and don't want to spend time off cleaning, or if it would make your life easier because of dodgy back/knees/hip/whatever.

Agree with you that lots of people have cleaners. But I do remember my auntie (who had a cleaner) having to do her mum's cleaning for her when her mum became unable to keep on top of it as her mum wouldn't contemplate paying for a cleaner to do it.

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/10/2024 08:13

Lol at 60 being too old to clean your own house - the PM is 61!

I am interested to know what sort of cleaning need her to be climbing of ladders daily.

My grandad uaed to come and mow our lawn and clear the garden well in to his 80s (he enjoyed helping out - we weren't exploiting my aged grandad for free gardening labour!)

Appletreepots · 21/10/2024 08:15

Most cleaners are forced to keep cleaning for long hours every day until they're nearly 70.

Tbh, if your mother is really doing the amount of cleaning you describe, she clearly gets something out of it and it's important to her. It's neither necessary nor normal to do that much cleaning, so, unless there's some backstory explaining extraordinary mess and dirt, she probably enjoys it or feels it serves a psychological purpose — or perhaps it's her exercise of choice.

Yuioto · 21/10/2024 08:15

I am not posh in the slightest and I’m a lot younger than your mum but do have a cleaner because with illnesses and what not I’d struggle to do things safely, if she doesn’t want a cleaner what about a robot vacuum to cut down on the daily hoovering?

Edingril · 21/10/2024 08:18

It's up to her

PercyGherkin · 21/10/2024 08:20

I really hope you haven’t told your mum how elderly she is and should be taking it easy. I would be gathering up the last of my feeble 😂 early 60s strength to deck you for that and even more determined to carry on as I wished.

Ceramiq · 21/10/2024 08:20

CleanerConundrums · 21/10/2024 07:24

My mum is in her early 60s. She doesn't want to acknowledge that she should be slowing down at this point in her life. I think she should be taking things easier as she enters the autumn of her life. She does all the cleaning in her house herself. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of her climbing on ladders, kneeling down, mopping the floor and hoovering every day. To that end I have suggested the idea of her hiring a cleaner. I would even be willing to pay for them myself. Whenever I mention it, she balks at the idea. She has said that only posh people get cleaners. I see plenty of posts on MN from people with cleaners, some of whom are younger than my mum. I'm sure that most of them wouldn't consider themselves to be posh. She doesn't have a gardener either, which is another matter. What are people's thoughts on this?

Obviously it depends rather on the size of the house and garden but my parents did most of their own cleaning and gardening well into their 70s - they much preferred that to going to the gym or playing golf!

JoanOgden · 21/10/2024 08:25

My father is 83 with a massive garden which he looks after entirely himself. He also goes up ladders to do DIY tasks.

You may have another 30 years to worry about your mother so I'd advise you not to peak too soon.

Apolloneuro · 21/10/2024 08:25

It’s nice that you care about your mum @CleanerConundrums

TheLittleOldWomanWhoShrinks · 21/10/2024 08:26

PercyGherkin · 21/10/2024 08:20

I really hope you haven’t told your mum how elderly she is and should be taking it easy. I would be gathering up the last of my feeble 😂 early 60s strength to deck you for that and even more determined to carry on as I wished.

This. My dc had better not be patronising and infantilising (what's the opposite of that but means the same? Geriatricising?) me like you're doing in 15 years or so when I'm in my early 60s. I expect to be working until 70 and, health willing, active beyond that.

HappyDane · 21/10/2024 08:27

Yes, it is nice! Hopefully the comments will help you to realise that you don't need to worry about it (unless there are extenuating circumstances).

NewGreenDuck · 21/10/2024 08:28

I'm older than your mum, I've just mopped the floors, loaded the dishwasher, got a load of washing on and cleaned the shower room. Keeping active is the best way to stave off aging. Doing some exercise, and mopping floors is exercise, will help. As well as physical chores it's important to keep the mind active too. So I hope she reads, does puzzles, and keeps up to date with world affairs etc. Sitting, doing nothing will age her.

Soontobe60 · 21/10/2024 08:28

Jeez! I’m in my mid 60s, do all my own cleaning, do my DDs cleaning, look after my grandchildren 2 days a week and still teach 2 days a week.
don’t write your mother off, you’re being ageist!

Tiresssssd · 21/10/2024 08:30

I think that exercise is probably really good for her and keeping her young!!

tuberole · 21/10/2024 08:35

This is click bait to stir up ageism and class debate, don't give it the time of day.

KnottedTwine · 21/10/2024 08:35

I'm younger than 60 and have a cleaner, have had for 20 years. Age is not the defining factor in having or not having a cleaner. Hating cleaning is the deciding factor for us.

60 is not old and if your mum is happy doing the cleaning let her crack on. Although I would argue that daily hoovering is excessive.

HappyDane · 21/10/2024 08:37

tuberole · 21/10/2024 08:35

This is click bait to stir up ageism and class debate, don't give it the time of day.

I did think that too.

Augustus40 · 21/10/2024 08:38

I am 60 and take exception to this! We aren't decrepit yet op.