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Original poster

My daughter is in labour and I'm a mess of emotion

338 replies

Eremomila · 20/10/2024 21:25

As above. My adult daughter is in labour with her first baby, her partner is with her, and I will get updates from time to time.
I won't be mithering them for updates, I'm happy to hear whenever they choose to update, including if they wait until baby comes, but I'm a mess of emotion and worry. I just hope all goes well for her and the baby and it's not too awful.
She's been in early stages of labour since early this morning, has been up to the hospital and sent home again. She says she's doing ok.
Just sharing on here as I have nobody around at the moment to share with, and hoping that some can understand my emotions at my lovely daughter now being in the process of birthing her own child.
I can remember my labour and her birth so well, as if it was yesterday. I was in labour a long time, and she was born at home (as intended).
Feeling quite teary at the moment with the wonder of it all.

OP posts:
Projectme · 21/10/2024 10:08

Looking forward to hearing the new goods!! Hopefully not long to go now.

NoEscapingMe · 21/10/2024 10:14

I was in this situation in May. I was so worried. I didn't eat all day. Just sat in the waiting area and was given the odd update when her partner had chance to pop out. She wouldn't let me in. (She's on the spectrum with PDA a large feature of her condition.) It's certainly an unenviable feeling but I look forward to your good news.

Boomer55 · 21/10/2024 10:16

Congrats to all. 🍾. Feeling like this is quite normal - I’ve done it 6 times!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
ThisGreyPanda · 21/10/2024 10:17

LBFseBrom · 21/10/2024 09:44

That makes me glad that neither my mother nor my in-laws knew when I went into labour early (my baby was only five days early, no problem). It was just me and my husband, first at home then in hospital, to which he drove, a 15 minute journey, and he phoned them after the event.

They were all terribly hyped up/excited after being told; my mum said she couldn't eat her lunch, my father-in-law left work at lunchtime and they arrived promptly at visiting time in the afternoon. A dear old friend of mine also turned up, she had travelled to London from Bath to see me for the day, found I was not in and had the common sense to phone my mum. She was delighted. i had sent her a telegram before I left for the hospital but it didn't arrive until after she left :-). Happy memories.

I am looking forward to the op returning with good news, bless her.

Show quote history

Yeah, We didn't tell her for the first 12 hours (3 days in total) as I thought I could 'pop' a baby out and surprise her. I was replying to chatty messages from her in what I thought was a normal way but she suspected and called me, got through to my husband instead who let it all slip!!

Cranberrycake · 21/10/2024 10:19

We didn’t tell anyone when I went in for an induction. Just told them when our baby arrived 😊 My sister on the other hand announced when she had a first contraction and I didn’t sleep for 2 days worrying about her 🤦🏼‍♀️ With hindsight, I wish she’s kept it quiet.

Hope you get an update soon OP!! Maybe you could make a list of little things to buy your DD when you see her and make a gift basket… like a bar of her favourite chocolate, a pack of her favourite biscuits, a new book you think she’ll like, some fluffy socks, half a bottle of champagne, nice shower gel. My favourite ever gift after having DC1 was a thermal walled Bodum cup for keeping my tea warm 😊

Original poster
Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:20

Morning. I had an update a little while ago, they are still at home, they both managed to get a bit of sleep so it sounds like it's still early labour and this may go on for some time, as many of you have commented. I really feel for my daughter but her partner says she's doing great.
I think I got about two hours sleep last night, I'm going to grab some more now

OP posts:
Dotto · 21/10/2024 10:22

Aw bless you all x

TheShellBeach · 21/10/2024 10:22

OP if she's having a long latent phase this could go on for several days. It could even stop altogether and start again in ten days' time.

(I'm a midwife BTW)

Get some rest!

Original poster
Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:22

Cranberrycake · 21/10/2024 10:19

We didn’t tell anyone when I went in for an induction. Just told them when our baby arrived 😊 My sister on the other hand announced when she had a first contraction and I didn’t sleep for 2 days worrying about her 🤦🏼‍♀️ With hindsight, I wish she’s kept it quiet.

Hope you get an update soon OP!! Maybe you could make a list of little things to buy your DD when you see her and make a gift basket… like a bar of her favourite chocolate, a pack of her favourite biscuits, a new book you think she’ll like, some fluffy socks, half a bottle of champagne, nice shower gel. My favourite ever gift after having DC1 was a thermal walled Bodum cup for keeping my tea warm 😊

Re gift basket, I had a lovely day with my daughter at her house on Friday helping her do loads of batch cooking for the freezer, and I took a gift basket of assorted bits including some nice things for her and some baby things I'd crocheted. It was such a lovely and special day

OP posts:
Original poster
Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:23

TheShellBeach · 21/10/2024 10:22

OP if she's having a long latent phase this could go on for several days. It could even stop altogether and start again in ten days' time.

(I'm a midwife BTW)

Get some rest!

Ok, noted, thanks

OP posts:
AutumnLeaves24 · 21/10/2024 10:26

Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:20

Morning. I had an update a little while ago, they are still at home, they both managed to get a bit of sleep so it sounds like it's still early labour and this may go on for some time, as many of you have commented. I really feel for my daughter but her partner says she's doing great.
I think I got about two hours sleep last night, I'm going to grab some more now

@Eremomila

Yep, time to practice Nana Naps!!

They got more sleep than you! If your Grandaughter isn't here by tonight I think you're going to need to calm your mind. Your daughter knows where you are and can ring you if she wants to. But you're not going to be any help if you don't sleep!!

Cranberrycake · 21/10/2024 10:27

Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:22

Re gift basket, I had a lovely day with my daughter at her house on Friday helping her do loads of batch cooking for the freezer, and I took a gift basket of assorted bits including some nice things for her and some baby things I'd crocheted. It was such a lovely and special day

Show quote history

That sounds wonderful @Eremomila. Your daughter is so fortunate to have you 🥰 (I don’t have a mum, but I think she would have been like you)

Boobygravy · 21/10/2024 10:31

Get some rest op. Baby will soon be here.

My dd had her dc 2 weeks early.
I rang her that day, no answer not even a message ( she always messages if she’s busy and I’ve rung), I rang her dh no answer.
I knew in my heart she was having the baby and told my sil and dil who I was with that I was sure she was .
They laughed and said she’s probably having a walk and no signal.

2 hours later dd facetimed with the most beautiful baby in her arms.
She didn’t want to worry me so her and her dh just got on with it.
But I knew.

bilbodog · 21/10/2024 10:32

OP hang on in there - i was in your situation 3 weeks ago and was so stressed waiting for news! Little max finally arrived and is so gorgeous! Best wishes to you and your family - we are all waiting with you xx

cobden28 · 21/10/2024 10:33

My daughter is expecting a baby too; she's 12 weeks along and I too am so excited to be a grandma! I'm desperately keen to be involved with the pregnancy and after baby is born but I don't want to be seen as a nosey or interfereing parent.
All I think you can do is to tell your daughter you're there if she wants or needs you, and don't force your opinions on her.

Original poster
Eremomila · 21/10/2024 10:40

Thanks everyone. I am going to rest and will update when there is any news.
Sending love and hugs to anyone reading this who feels they didn't get the love they should have from their mum at this time. I know families come in all varieties and not everyone has a supportive mum, so sending special thoughts your way, if it's ok to say that.

OP posts:
MyOliveCritic · 21/10/2024 10:41

Good luck and how exciting ! We just welcomed beautiful GC3 with my son and lovely DiL a couple of weeks ago and currently awaiting daughter’s first baby in a few weeks time. Really enjoying the waiting stage and like you I am busy knitting and crocheting which i love doing and also plan some batch cooking for the freezer soon. I feel a mixture of excitement and anxiety ! My daughter is our youngest child and she is having a baby , can’t get my head round it sometimes! Only seems five minutes since she was born …..she’s nearly 30 ! She has been very open about her feelings and worries etc and I have supported the best that I can and have tried to get up to date with current thinking around childbirth etc as I may be a birth partner. Lots has changed but I reckon the basics are the same!
All the best to you I look forward to hearing about the outcome!

RelativePitch · 21/10/2024 10:57

My DM had to get very sharp elbowed with the staff at the hospital. 4 days of non progressive labour and my DP and I too exhausted to advocate for ourselves. I had a high temperature and my baby's trace was flat. My DM put it to them if they might like to have a chat with my barrister father as to why things were going so sub-optimally. Within 10 minutes of that chat the head of obstetrics was by my bedside paving the way for an EMCS. My DM is very overbearing, but my goodness was I grateful on that occasion!

justasking111 · 21/10/2024 11:00

RelativePitch · 21/10/2024 10:57

My DM had to get very sharp elbowed with the staff at the hospital. 4 days of non progressive labour and my DP and I too exhausted to advocate for ourselves. I had a high temperature and my baby's trace was flat. My DM put it to them if they might like to have a chat with my barrister father as to why things were going so sub-optimally. Within 10 minutes of that chat the head of obstetrics was by my bedside paving the way for an EMCS. My DM is very overbearing, but my goodness was I grateful on that occasion!

My DIL a solicitor did something like that. It does work.

Moier · 21/10/2024 11:30

Congratulations.
I'm a Granny to four.
Saw my first and last being born.
Was amazing .
Wishing everyone all the best.

Wife2b · 21/10/2024 11:32

Aw what a lovely thread. I had my first last year, my grandmother was pacing the floors all day waiting for news and balled her eyes out when she heard. It’s magical. Wishing you all the best OP xx

HerGorgeousMajestyArabellaScott · 21/10/2024 11:34

Aw, how lovely (if nerve wracking) for you, OP. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Toddlerteaplease · 21/10/2024 11:37

Shameless Placemarking for updates! Hope all goes well OP.

Clearinguptheclutter · 21/10/2024 11:37

you’re doing the right thing in leaving your dd and her partner to it and not interfering l

However if she does want your advice and feels up to it I’d suggest a nice walk. On both occasions it was a decent walk in the fresh air that helped get me on my way properly

OverAtTheDarkSide · 21/10/2024 11:59

Sending thoughts, my son’s partner has been in the latent stage now for a week, has been in and out of hospital and in pain all this time, still has her waters and 2cm dilated. It’s long and slow and I feel for them both.

it’s tough being on tender hooks all the time isn’t it? X