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Weirdest reason you’ve finished with someone

183 replies

SlovenlyOldSlut · 19/10/2024 22:13

So I promise I don’t exclusively date weirdos! But these stick out in my mind…

This is going back a good few years now, but I dated someone who couldn’t cope with me wearing a coat. Every time we went out it was, “So you’ve brought your coat again have you? We’ve got to lug that thing about with us all night, have we?” As if it was Princess Diana’s bloody bridal train. Once he was virtually begging me to wear “one of his big jumpers” instead. I kept asking why he had such a problem with me carrying a coat and he said, “You look really awkward!” What’s awkward about a coat?!

Another one didn’t understand microwaves. Or, more accurately, why you would own one. I’d been for dinner at his place when the phone rang and it turned out to be urgent. He came back and apologised for keeping me waiting for dinner; I said “No problem; we can just stick it in the microwave”. He looked utterly bewildered and kept repeating “Microwave?”, as if he’d never heard of the concept.

Okay, I thought, he hasn’t got one - but he just seemed completely confused at the idea anyone would. He was saying, “But what would I use it for?”, as if I’d suggested he should buy a unicorn. I said, “Well, reheating food! And things like scrambled egg, baked beans…” He just looked at me in total confusion, saying, “But I’d use a pan. I’d warm the food in the oven. Why would I have a microwave?” It was just too weird. I couldn’t ever feel aroused by him again.

OP posts:
x2boys · 23/10/2024 08:24

Spagettifunction · 19/10/2024 22:29

This is awful really but he couldn’t read. Not one word. He had a job (manual) and also he wore y fronts because his mum bought them (she also left a folded blanket neatly on the passenger seat of a car).

the reason he never read (I would have loved to have taught him) was his parents let him leave school young to work.

How young ?
Most kids learn to read early.onnin primary school, even those that struggle most will be able to read by the end of primary school.

Willowgirls · 23/10/2024 09:11

I admit this happened when I was a teenager (16) so was very shallow.
Normally he wore jeans.
This day he shock horror turned up in beige crimpeline trousers.

TheDogsMother · 23/10/2024 09:13

Dovecare · 20/10/2024 05:55

I regularly went off boys for wearing the wrong type of shoes.

Me too 🤣

Bristolnewcomer · 23/10/2024 09:16

Garlicbest · 19/10/2024 22:29

That was a great read 😂

Stanley - for that was his name, and I still dated him - should've got the old heave-ho for dancing round the bedroom with my knickers on his head after sex. I had embarrassingly low standards. He asked to see something I'd been working on for a while. I don't usually like to show unfinished work to anyone, but Stanley was so interested, he kept asking.

He spent three hours telling me what was wrong with it and what changes to make. No, he had no relevant experience! I gave him the experience of his girlfriend walking out of a restaurant while loudly advising the staff to give the bill to That Self-Appointed Expert Over There.

I dumped a guy in the middle of our first date, when I noticed him writing the exact cost of each of our drinks down in a little notebook.

I should have dumped a guy on our first date as he tapped the exact cost of our drinks into his little spreadsheet. Possibly some relation.

Fgfgfg · 23/10/2024 11:37

Icepinkeskimo · 21/10/2024 02:28

He had fingers like big pork sausages and he bit his nails.

I remember thinking there’s no way those hands are coming near me.

Friend also dumped someone because of sausage fingers. Like you she was horrified by the thought of stubby sausage fingers pawing at her.

TheGirlFromTheSummerBefore · 23/10/2024 12:49

He had taken his pants and trousers off all in one and stepped out of them. The skidmarks!

If he's not adult enough to wipe his arse, he's not dating me.

MeOldBamboo · 23/10/2024 13:05

He smelled like cheese and onion crisps and wanted to be wanked off in front of the rugby. Er no.

Lovelynames123 · 23/10/2024 13:24

He was diabetic and his whole personality was being diabetic. To be fair, it was quite serious, but he used it as an excuse not to work at all so never had any money, had horrible toenails because he wasn't allowed to cut them himself and had a wound on the top of his head that never healed properly and would periodically seep. Had been quite seriously attracted to him in the beginning but as I discovered more he became less and less attractive, major ick

Laughingmole · 23/10/2024 13:43

I realised he strongly reminded me of a garden gnome. I couldn’t un-see it and it majorly gave me the ick!

Acornsoup · 23/10/2024 16:48

Hair flicking, ugly feet, exaggerating, holes in jeans the list goes on...

SinnerBoy · 23/10/2024 18:27

twentysevendresses · Yesterday 23:05

Ultimate break-up reason...every few minutes he would stick his finger inside his ear, poke around...then SNIFF his fingers! Absolutely VILE 😱🤢
He was 60.

Out of interest ... how old were you?

Wellbeige · 23/10/2024 18:46

Allergies.

I know it’s shallow but he had the driest flakiest skin and woke me up scratching and itching in his sleep.

the bed looked like a snowstorm. It was years ago and he was quite a nice bloke so hopefully he sorted it.

I was young and shallow!

Laiste · 23/10/2024 19:48

Five different blokes.

1 - first kiss he tasted of beans (i'd been with him all day and he'd had no beans)

2 - his name was Trevor and i just couldn't get past it.

3 - He had 3 entire photo albums of pictures of himself. And our first date was me being shown them all one by one.

4 - his car was missing a door. He had beautiful eyes, but the car thing ... no.

5 - he was too keen. He kept sending me ideas for songs which matched his feelings and they were all shite stuff i wouldn't listen to.

AntoinetteCurtain · 23/10/2024 20:19

Oodiks · 19/10/2024 22:54

Have you read Perfume by Patrick Süskind, the protagonist is a man with no smell at all.

What a bloody great book.

Have you read The Pigeon??

Itsme3167 · 23/10/2024 20:22

SlovenlyOldSlut · 19/10/2024 22:13

So I promise I don’t exclusively date weirdos! But these stick out in my mind…

This is going back a good few years now, but I dated someone who couldn’t cope with me wearing a coat. Every time we went out it was, “So you’ve brought your coat again have you? We’ve got to lug that thing about with us all night, have we?” As if it was Princess Diana’s bloody bridal train. Once he was virtually begging me to wear “one of his big jumpers” instead. I kept asking why he had such a problem with me carrying a coat and he said, “You look really awkward!” What’s awkward about a coat?!

Another one didn’t understand microwaves. Or, more accurately, why you would own one. I’d been for dinner at his place when the phone rang and it turned out to be urgent. He came back and apologised for keeping me waiting for dinner; I said “No problem; we can just stick it in the microwave”. He looked utterly bewildered and kept repeating “Microwave?”, as if he’d never heard of the concept.

Okay, I thought, he hasn’t got one - but he just seemed completely confused at the idea anyone would. He was saying, “But what would I use it for?”, as if I’d suggested he should buy a unicorn. I said, “Well, reheating food! And things like scrambled egg, baked beans…” He just looked at me in total confusion, saying, “But I’d use a pan. I’d warm the food in the oven. Why would I have a microwave?” It was just too weird. I couldn’t ever feel aroused by him again.

I once finished with someone because he laughed and a huge snot bubble came out of his nose 😮

Oodiks · 23/10/2024 20:42

AntoinetteCurtain · 23/10/2024 20:19

What a bloody great book.

Have you read The Pigeon??

No, but it’s on my list now

LoveKay · 23/10/2024 21:37

The first time we dtd was very disappointing but I thought maybe it was nerves as he was a widower and said it had been a long time since he'd been intimate with anyone. However, on the 2nd occasion we ventured upstairs, I nipped to the loo first and on entering the bedroom, was horrified to find him spread eagled across the bed, wearing what he told me were his late wife's bra and knickers. He was only very slightly built and they were way too big for him, he looked absolutely ridiculous. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry but I also felt angry with him for "surprising" me like that. Needless to say it was a very short lived relationship.

SummerGardenFlowers · 23/10/2024 21:52

I dumped a guy I'd been seeing for a year and a half, because I'd had a dream the previous night thay I dumped him, so I did! To be fair he was a nice guy with good prospects job wise but otherwise absolutely useless and his cooking skills extended to beans on toast (just!) which really pissed me off (I like nice food). I think he thought he'd be moving in with me and I'd be cooking his dinner every night forever. When I dumped him he sat on my sofa and cried and I just told him to go.

My DH who I've been with for 16 years now used to be a chef ✔️

HelenInHeels · 23/10/2024 22:29

LoveKay · 23/10/2024 21:37

The first time we dtd was very disappointing but I thought maybe it was nerves as he was a widower and said it had been a long time since he'd been intimate with anyone. However, on the 2nd occasion we ventured upstairs, I nipped to the loo first and on entering the bedroom, was horrified to find him spread eagled across the bed, wearing what he told me were his late wife's bra and knickers. He was only very slightly built and they were way too big for him, he looked absolutely ridiculous. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry but I also felt angry with him for "surprising" me like that. Needless to say it was a very short lived relationship.

My ex once jumped out at me wearing a lacy black and red bra, knickers and suspenders with black stockings. He'd bought me these for Valentine's Day and they'd remained in the drawer. He thought I'd find it sexy. I found it stupid and the relationship didn't last much longer!

longtompot · 23/10/2024 22:54

SlowMotionWankVideo · 20/10/2024 06:42

Had to nc for this because I've told.everyone irl 😁 unsurprisingly, it was available.

He sent me a slow.motion wank video.

He lived in the middle of nowhere and was naked in a field when he filmed it. From start to the absolute finish.

In slow motion 🤢

Sorry but this made me actually lol! How?! & Why?! did he think this was a sexy thing to send you?

I only dumped one person, normally I was the dumped. We were only together two weeks, one week too many as I tried to finish with him after the first week. We were put together as a blind date and there was no spark. I'm sure he was a nice, kind person but my 16 year old self wasn't prepared to find out. Not an unusual reason to finish things tbh.

coxesorangepippin · 24/10/2024 03:14

It wasn't that he didn't smell of toiletries or cologne, he didn't smell of anything
^

This would out me off too. He needs to smell of something dammit

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 24/10/2024 04:41

He turned up wearing Jeans tucked into knee high boots. Unfortunately, it was a blind / double date with friend and her boyfriend and I couldn't make a run for it; plan was to visit another city and they were driving. She didn't clock my desperate eye semaphores. He was so effing touchy too. Bleurghh.

spiritgoat · 24/10/2024 04:59

One guy brought a pair of new trainers for me to our first date. Turns out he'd bought them for the woman he was previously dating for a couple of weeks, she ended things, he didn't keep the receipt and thought he could palm them off on me.
I didn't take them, I wonder if the next girl did, or if he's still out there somewhere, roaming the earth to find a woman specifically with size 4 feet that will take them off his hands... on the first date.

I ended a casual thing with another guy because he had a chinchilla and regularly sent me videos of it having sand baths whilst he was giggling and cooing over it in the background. I would have had no idea that was a problem for me if not for him.

FUBAR77 · 24/10/2024 08:27

@Laiste 1 - first kiss he tasted of beans (i'd been with him all day and he'd had no beans)

The last part of this really cracked me up! Thanks for brightening me day

Itsme3167 · 24/10/2024 11:49

I ended it with someone because when he laughed a huge snot bubble appeared out of his nose. He pointed at it and shouted “Look, it’s the Nimble (bread) advert”. For the younger generation Nimble was a bread that was supposed to be lighter than a helium filled balloon!!!! Advert had hot air balloons floating everywhere whilst Nimble hungry women floated around in them catching loaves of Nimble bread that had floated up to the skies. 😂. Wasn’t that good anyway……!!!!! Both the bread AND him 👍🏻

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