If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

Education and having someone help you read/access to books.

A good warm coat, gloves, and maybe a couple of good quality fashionable hoodies? As a kid/teen, having nice clothes is more important than at other times of life. My best friend left school at 16 mainly because she could not afford a winter coat.

I wish I had vision. I could only see my own life and family. I did not know jobs that paid £60K plus were open to people like me. I could only see hourly jobs.

I also wish I had a waterproof coat. I wish I was not ashamed to ask for and accept help. I was offered this at 14, but shame stopped me.

By the way I made it, but I wish I did not go the long way round to get to my achievements. Further education in my 20’s gave me the skills I needed to get into a higher paying job.

Don't ask us ask your local community

A bra that actually fit - had huge breasts from age 12 but no money for bras so my huge breasts just used to bob about under my school shirts etc until I got a job and could afford ones that fit (my aunt took pity on me and gave me her old ones but they never fit properly)

People need equal access to opportunities despite their background.

What I’ve noticed is that career advisors at schools suck. If a school is in an area with bad reputation, they don’t encourage kids to go to uni, or they encourage them to go to bad universities. It’s very weird. Kids should know that opportunities are there for everyone, despite their background. So good mentorship as people mentioned is needed so much.

I also recently found out that people living in affordable accommodation have to supply their own flooring! So there are homes without actual flooring. I can’t even comprehend how there is no law about it!

Interested parents

@TrueOlympian - hard agree. I would have benefited from really good careers advice from people who weren't coy talking about money, and who knew what degrees really took you places.

When you don't know anyone with a degree, any degree seems amazing and valuable. And if you don't know anyone who brings in more than £20k, the idea of career that won't ever pay much more than £30k sounds like wild riches.

Any clothes that had never been worn by anyone else! I remember aged 12 being taken to buy two t-shirts, my only ‘new to me’ clothes I had, and coveting them for years. However that’s probably not as relevant these days as clothes are so much cheaper.

Decent shoes and pocket money for toiletries.

Vouchers to places would be amazing. I remember never being able to go to nice attractions etc. I’m not talking Chessington, but just local places.

Absolutely agree re careers advice! Are they just not very good at their job or something? (There must be some good ones, right?
I mistakenly thought things would have changed, but both my sons have had incredibly poor advice, massively influenced by the personal, uninformed and (I think) biased view of the advisor. It would have been better for their confidence if they had no advice at all….

Running hot water. Not just kettle boiled.

Somebody to look upto. Preferably female. I had no role models.

Proper help with food; basic nutrition and cooking techniques. I'm on several 'feed yourself for £1' type groups on Facebook and it's horrendous how many meals are just ultra processed carbs with very little nutrition. There's a huge gap in skills/knowledge when you've been raised in chicken nuggets & cup noodles, and all studies show that poor diet is a huge factor in health outcomes from deprived households.

@flowersintheatticus please would you say whereabouts in the country you are or if you are not able to do that would you be willing to pm me?

Confidence. So definitely access to a variety of creative arts but also learning how to speak to others, having a wide vocabulary, knowing how to present one side of an issue calmly, how to greet someone.

This, yes. Just knowing how to go about it, where to start. My parents didn't know, my siblings were not academic, I just drifted away from education into poorly paid employment despite being top of the class in two subjects time after time. People can't believe I didn't go onto higher education.
Clothes too; not fashionable necessarily, but not too ill fitting or altered. My friends laughed when I revealed a cut down dress as a blouse as I changed for P.E.

Deodorant. I remember when we were kids. Mum would do the shopping and then if there was any money left over she / we could have deodorant. We shared one.

Gratitude for what I did have and being able to it to the full.

A winter coat, a decent bed and mattress, wellies for winter, access to a club either swimming lessons/brownies. Some decent toys, the occasional day out.

To be honest there was just so much that I missed out on.

My parents always found the money for beer and cigarettes though.

Access to clubs. When I was young I never got to be in brownies or dancing or suchlike. Maybe speaking to some of these groups to see if there is any possibility of funded places for these kids.

Hair cut is a great idea, also watertight shoes particularly for winter.

Goodness, this. This stayed with me for decades. This thread has made me a bit weepy, reminding me of bits of my childhood that I definitely don't revisit that often. The sanpro, pants and bras, new shoes and trainers, proper beds and nice clothes (for the dreaded non uniform day) have been mentioned often on this thread for good reason. Thermal base layers would have been great too in a house where we were so very often cold in the winter. This thread has also reminded me how incredibly important libraries were to me as a child. Warm, quiet, safe spaces for children that don't have them at home are so important.

I'd also say kids from deprived backgrounds really need advocates and mentors to fill in gaps that their parents may not have the knowledge or capacity to help with. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a good career, and a good marriage now. However, I made terrible romantic and financial decisions because I just didn't know any better, and my mum was so exhausted and overwhelmed with the stress of bringing up kids in grinding poverty to even attempt to teach me what she herself had never been taught. If you grow up in the stress of extreme poverty mental illness and broken homes are just so prevalent in the adults around you. What's more you rarely can afford to leave your neighbourhood to stretch your horizons, and social capital is thin on the ground. An advocate fighting your corner and telling you about opportunities outside of your impoverished surroundings, and signposting financial and emotional support would have been wonderful, and have made things much less of a battle for me.

I know it sounds ridiculous but a new school bag was my one dream. We didn't have the money, mainly because my mother prioritised my brother, Irish Catholic family, and he got whatever he wanted. DF sat up one night and presented me with a schoolbag he'd down out of our old leather sofa, it was the late '60's. DF was very proud of it but was awful to a 15 year old. I used it because I couldn't bear to hurt him but I was ridiculed at school. My mother tried to force me to return the following year with the same bag and I refused pointblank. She then had to fork out for a new schoolbag as I threatened to tell DF about all the 'extras' she forked out to my brother (I never held it against my brother). However, I knew my DF made the bag because we were poor and I used it but I was so embarrassed at school and hugely made fun of at the time. I adored my DF to his dying day.

Better quality shoes. My feet were always blistered and sore because I always had to break in my cheap shoes. I longed for some from Clarkes.