If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

More support on further education or steps into a career- apprenticeships/ uni - I had no idea or guidance and ended up in a rubbish job and now trying to guide mine from making the same mistakes.

This.

I don't know where you are but if you have a local, St Vincent de Paul (RC charity but helps everyone) they often send a local family on holiday. My mum was involved with them quite a few weeks ago and they would send a family to the nearest Butlins, cover the travel and some pocket money.

There are various charitable trusts with help if you know who / where to ask. Eg I'm in the midlands, Severn Trent water has a charitable trust where you can apply for a bed or for white goods. They are brand new but the trust doesn't know who needs help

Having someone research what is available locally and helping families access that help could help so many people. And I think you need to be available at some odd hours to work around shift patterns and childcare.

I'd also like to volunteer, if you are close physically and if you are not that close then virtually.

It sounds like they will be teenagers. Homework space and encouragement to do it would have been invaluable to me. Plus an interested adult who knew how the world worked, re. Education and careers etc. If you have never been anywhere (we were a no school trips family) it can be very lonely and daunting. I am ashamed to say that until I got a Saturday job I took to shop lifting. I honestly didn't know what else to do. It did nothing for my self esteem. Please watch out for the silent ones. They are silent for a reason. And thank you for caring. I had a caring teacher in year 6. I think about her still.

I had the basics and a really good DF but I still missed out on so much.

I knew I couldn't ask for more or go on school trips or have hobbies because she would scream.

What I really wanted was a DM that gave a shit. That would listen and help rather than crow and laugh when I was upset or because I was ambitious. I wanted her to be pleased when I was successful not being bitter and jealous. I wanted less responsibility and more confidence.

My two know they can always come to me good or bad especially bad and I will help. So a helpful invested adult would be good.

I grew up poor in a middle class environment. My dad was a professional but my mum had grown up poor and still clung to that mentality. We lived beyond our means on my dad's salary so while we had the outward trappings of nice things there was never enough.

We'd eat fried food mostly so we smelled of chips. We had one can of deodorant in the house at any time which was my dad's. I used to get told off for using it. I had no period products so I smelt of that too.

My mother spent thousands on ballet lessons for my brother and I despite him having speech difficulties which were left untreated. That money could have easily bought the personal hygeine products we all desperately needed. We had no books, unless they were gifts and no chance of any museum or art gallery visits.

I longed for deodorant, conditioner, Tammy Girl and tampax.

Access to a washing machine. I'd been handwashing mine and siblings clothes in cold water with a bar of the school carbolic soap that I stole.

My dd school is specialist provision and they have a washer and dryer that the children can use which I raised money for and got installed.

Reading this is heartbreaking . And as most women replying here wouldn't be more than 60, probably in their 30/40s.
Yet some situations sound Dickension .

It is almost overwhelming to try and think of ways to remedy this . Thank God for your group OP that are trying to address this in your own way . Many posters have said that having an adult who cared was important and I hope you will be seen as such .

Unfortunately children are at mercy of the adults in their own home. Not necessarily bad people but poverty stricken or unable to manage . Unless we can also engage with these adults , who often are afraid to ask for help in case they are deemed unfit , it is difficult to see how things can genuinely improve .

Best of luck to you OP and your endeavours . Judging by the replies here it is obviously a much needed program and if you can supply even one child with the things deemed helpful it will be so gratifying and worthwhile.

Have you got an account with InKind direct? You can get cheap toiletries, san pro, stationary and even clothes and shoes on there. Our church buys from them to make care packages for local people who need them

Decent shoes that actually fitted, clothing in general (especially a coat), toiletries/ toothpaste etc, haircuts and also freedom from having to see a constant stream of letters about various debts and threats of eviction.
An interest in us as individuals would have been wonderful.
It wasn't just me, for my brother as well.
The effects of poverty and neglect really do stay with you forever.

I used to work with inner city NEET teens. I find raised and took 20 to a theme park. Some had never left the city before. One said he never realised it was possible to get an emotional high without drugs. One ran round shouting t "this is brilliant!" Like the old milk advert. Was a great day.
I also took two older teens who were in supported accommodation to the Peak District. We walked and made food in a camp stove. Again they'd never left the city before. The risk assessments were phenomenal.
These experiences can shape a childhood. Create aspirations. Show a different side to life.

I would have killed for somewhere quiet with a desk to do my homework, and someone literate to hear spellings from time to time and/or to liaise with my school. Our house was so small and overcrowded that the only place I could do homework was lying on my (bottom bunk) bed, which really isn't conducive to concentration or posture.

And career guidance/ encouragement. My parents weren't literate, my school didn't send anyone to university, and the teachers were burnt out and exhausted from keeping order, and my parents pressured me to leave school at 15 in case I got 'above myself'. They genuinely thought university was only for rich people, and had no idea about scholarships or grants (which existed at the time).

@flowersintheatticus -- this thread has made me cry. It would have made me life so much easier if it had existed in my area. The problem is that I probably wouldn't have heard about it. (I only realised in adulthood how many free cultural resources were available close by in my childhood, but my parents were either totally unaware or simply thought 'not for the likes of us'.)

If you have community centre use a few times a week, start a lunch club.
Lots of parents skip meals to ensure their kids eat.
Soup/sandwich, and someone to hold the baby! twice a week - and even use a washer/dryer would make a huge difference for some people 😊

Good childrens literature. I read the same small collection of paperbacks over and over until they completely fell apart. Often I've read children's classics to my DC like Chronicles of Narnia, Wolves of Willoughby Chase etc and felt a pang of sadness because I would have been enraptured by them as child.
Drawing pencils. I would draw all the time with biros and lined paper that my mum used to bring home from her admin job. I really enjoyed that but used to long for colours. I did once get a small pack of crayola felt tips as a birthday gift but they ran out after a few months of heavy use.

And just encouragement/interest. I used to write reams and reams of stories and neither of my parents ever read them or showed any interest at all.

I did used to get laughed at about clothes etc but to me that doesn't seem as important as the fact that I was starving for more to feed my imagination and creativity with.

Meanwhile my DC have the most gloriously beautiful array of literature and art materials, yet they spend most of their free time fighting playing in the garden and telling me how bored they are. What is it with kids today? I would happily spend 20 mins drawing an imaginary land in the condensation on the window, I was never bored. Can't be screens as mine have always been very close to screen-free.

Sanitary towels

Toilet roll

More than 1 school blouse that fit

Someone to notice when my school clothes didn't fit and help me do something about it

Someone to talk to about careers and options and the wider world

Someone to talk to about my (many) worries

Like PPs:

• dental care
• shoes (always the risk someone would sell them but I used to hunt round bins for reasonable cardboard to line shoes against the holes in the soles, for me and my siblings)
• adequate heating
• change of underwear that fit me
• spare socks
• change of uniform (blouse, jumper etc.)
• change of bedding
• laundry access
• access to a library.

I'd have liked to have been able to have sports training. Not essential but I'd have liked that, or going to a swimming pool.

That is so lovely, what wonderful Aunties.

A mentor, someone who wasn't restricted to factory life like every one of our neighbours (well it seemed like it). When I was 40 Mum happened to mention a Dr we had when I was younger. He had spoken to Mum and thought I could be a Dr, and he offered to help me. Mum told him no thanks. Because I questioned her she said, "Well you couldn't have qualified could you?"
Started in factory when 16!

You can't aspire to be what you don't know. There are a lot of people who would give your group of young people a free hour chat about their career path on Zoom. Try to get some from your area who have broken the cycle.

They were also my 2 Godmothers and when I was little I really believed they were my fairy Godmothers.

It's sad when parents can't allow DC to have ambition. My Mum passed the 11+ but my grandparents wouldn't let her go. She was the only one from her village school to pass. She would have had to cycle 6 miles each way to school and back and they said if she was a boy they would have allowed it but it was not seemly for a girl to cycle so much.

Oh yes I’d almost forgotten until seeing this how painful it was wearing shoes that were too small and not wanting to tell mum because I knew she couldn’t buy new ones.

Haven't read the full thread but from a community development perspective the obvious question is have you asked the people you see as your beneficiaries? Also, what people want and what people need can be very different. Getting people engaged in what they need without offering some of what they want is very difficult. Look up ABCD model and what the strengths are in the community not just what you perceived to be lacking. Do with people, not to people.

An adult that could give information about worldly things, such as paying tax, how a loan works, budgeting, access to grants etc. Also to be an encouragement that things can change.

I have worked with some extremely disadvantaged children - often the most basic things many take for granted are not available- pens/ drawing and writing paper ( still needed for homework) crayons/ glue/ scissors/ sticky tape. Craft cards and creative toys ; books; an umbrella and waterproof clothes / wellies; fancy school water bottle and nice pencil case will be cherished. Beyond that anything which enables expanding experiences be it travel vouchers, cinema, after school activities etc. Financially strapped working parents are often very time poor too so also anything which helps in terms of time-support : booking and escorting to Opticians’s, hairdressers, doctors, dentists etc or just babysitting is often welcome . Treats such as advent calendars , trips out etc - but ensure anything arranged doesn’t have an additional demand in terms of finances or time attached to it unless you’ve checked first.