If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

Exactly the school careers advisors in low income areas set the bar very low and almost discourage anyone from having any higher aspirations. Absolutely hated mine when she suggested I was punching above my weight for a certain degree and had I considered a certain low level out of school job etc. Stupid cow did the opposite of her job description.

Parents who loved me.

This is just so sad, very humbling to read the things I take, and took, for granted become so important when you don't have them.

Sanitary products for girls, I hope that's already covered. I spent too much time with bunched up wedges of toilet roll in my knickers leaking through onto my clothes.

Such thoughtful responses already and I can only echo PP’s suggestions of Homework Club and education mentoring. Being aware of different types of careers and how to get in to particular areas would have been life changing.
My parents/friends of my parents were not in well paid jobs and I had no clue about how to set myself on a fulfilling career path, despite being capable. Families like mine just didn’t know anyone who was a business owner/lawyer/accountant/doctor etc. Exposure to and awareness of well paid professions could have set me on a different path.

On another note, I was also not taught anything at home about money (other than never having any). My father got our family in to a desperate situation with credit cards when I was was in my teens, I thought it was normal to live on credit that you never fully repaid. Basic understanding of money management would have been beneficial to me.

Just thought of another one - possibly not relevant nowadays as I suppose paper forms are not as common as doing everything online?
However, I used to struggle at home with filling out application forms for things - part time jobs, grant forms etc. My father was near illiterate and my mother wasn’t interested in helping. Just having someone to support in form filling/proof reading applications would have been amazing. I felt very alone and clueless a lot of the time.

Shampoo, conditioner and deodorant.

Some of these suggestions remind me of my childhood a hole in my shoe , not having deodorant, a bath only once a week needing to wear the same clothes over and over before washing them again I didn’t even have home WiFi until I was older and we had to go to the library or connect to the neighbours I had the same mattress well beyond when it needed to be replaced that had been flipped loads already and I could feel all the coils had to get all our clothes out of charity shops it worried me that someone might notice I was wearing their old clothes. I obviously never went abroad listened to everyone talk about their holidays abroad like it was nothing I had an unemployed single mum with untreated bipolar and other mental health issues that impacted me in turn I wish I had mental health help from a young age and someone to advocate for me

And might I add shoes/clothes I did have were sometimes way too big so I could “grow into them”

Just wondering if a childhood all un-hygenic has anything to do with my germ- OCD

That's a shame. I only ever managed to take my son on one UK holiday, and a few trips to visit relatives in other parts of the UK. He's almost all grown- up now, and I feel bad I never did better for him. I wish I could have. I wish I had left his abusive father when he was still a baby, and got myself together. Made something of my life and made him happier. He deserved better than the life we had.

Proper careers advice, advice on what you are capable of and how to get there, including free courses, loans etc.
How to reach full potential. For many kids with strong academic ability their parents will have no clue as they don't know this themselves.
Lots of support in applications etc

At various times in my life I have depended on libraries. I was heartbroken when so many were closing.
As a child, I'd get out of the house and was allowed to go to the library alone. God the quiet was wonderful and tables were far enough apart that the stink on me wasnt so noticeable. And it was warm and dry.

As a new parent, and absolutely skint, it was a place to be warm, the odd coffee and cake morning meant I might get some cake, a rare thing, and the kids were to some extent occupied for a while. I was however terrified that they would do some damage and I'd be thrown out forever. So could have done with knowing that being thrown out isnt a thing (I only very recently discovered that you cant be thrown out unless really unruly and not permanently)

For me the main thing wasn’t material things but constant anxiety. A ten year old shouldn’t need to worry about losing their home. That insecurity stayed with me for decades even when I earned a good salary myself. The psychological impact of poverty on children is often overlooked and rarely addressed .

If the are young kids an opportunity to read to you to practise their reading

That's possibly an auditory processing disorder, have you had a diagnosis? If not it's worth looking into via your GP because there may be some tech that can help.

Nice clothes would have been lovely, and shoes that weren't too small! I have bunions which I'm sure were due to squeezing my feet into shoes that didn't fit as a child.

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about this thread, trying to think what I could do. Packs of underwear to local food bank and volunteering at local school was the best I could come up with.

I'd be really interested to know what from PP's that work in schools what they do for their underprivileged kids already.

I worked in a primary school ten years ago, and they used to run a gardening and cooking club. Kids could help on the school allotment at lunchtime, and then they would bundle back into the classroom after school and cook something with the produce. In reality a lot of the food was provided by the school, but it was a good way to give the kids extra skills and a hot meal once a week.

the chance for at least day trips. being told "well you can forget about that" when I asked why we never had holidays still makes me burn with every negative emotion

also fashionable clothes, I mostly wore clothes that had been passed on many many times and felt awful in them

Sincere thanks to all who have replied, and I'm so sorry for so many horrible childhood experiences 😢I can't reply individually, but to answer a few questions:

This is a very small scale voluntary project that a few women want to start. We don't have any funding, so buying trainers/beds/fashionable clothing is out of the question. In our borough a period poverty charity has been really active and there's sanpro (including cups and period pants) everywhere you turn, which is great. We have the use of a community hall several times per week. We are a few women who are trying to do our best on a very small scale to make differences that might help to level up for a few children (and I'm very aware how difficult this is, I'm not under any false pretences). It will be advertized as a drop-in place, certainly not putting it forward as some type of club for the poor. We have skills and cultural/social capital between us that could allow for:

-a safe, comfortable space to relax/play games with drinks/snacks
-a few computers with internet access and printer
-a few musical instruments to try out
-reading/homework help
-GCSE english/maths revision classes
-careers talks (in a child appropriate manor)
-could definitely get some vgc second hand clothes/bedding/shoes
-love the idea of laundry capsules, don't think local foodbanks supply those
-also love the idea of day trips to the sea/other nice areas. That's something to work towards

I'd be really interested to know what from PP's that work in schools what they do for their underprivileged kids already

Yes I'd love to know this too please. I must add that this area is a very deprived postcode, but there doesn't seem to be an issue at all with children looking neglected or lacking in decent haircuts or even trainers. Educational attainment is very low though, so I'm thinking perhaps this should be our area of focus.

I can relate to this. My Mum, hunched over the dining table doing sums to work out how much money we had left. In effect, robbing peter to pay paul.
I was always worried about money.
It was always stressful.
And then worrying about my Mum running away and not coming back, which she often said she wanted to do. No Dad, so if she'd run off, we'd have been in care.

Thank you so much for starting this thread @flowersintheatticus . I work in a school in a deprived area and will look into starting a homework club on one of my working days, if I can book a computer room after school, as this seems to be a common answer. Would also offer a hot chocolate to anyone that comes in the winter but no food or drink allowed in the computer rooms so may only be able to offer this to my year 11s to bribe encourage them to come to revision sessions.

Sanpro are left by the school in every female and disabled toilet for girls who need them and I’ve had one pupil ask if I had any once (thankfully I did as I’d had my period the week before). Open and welcome to any other suggestions (that won’t cost a lot as it will be coming out of my own pocket or ideally need loads of prep time as my own kids lose enough time with me as it is to planning and marking!)