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How to deal with difficult colleague in new job?

5 replies

FrightDay · 06/10/2024 18:00

I've just started a new job and all was ok until a colleague noticed I'd done something wrong. It was nothing major and had no impact on my work. Just a small thing which I sorted quickly.
Since, they have not stopped mentioning it. Now lots of people know what happened when it's really insignificant. The specific colleague makes jokes about it and I'm really getting annoyed.
Years ago it's the sort of thing that would have upset me, now it just gets on my nerves.

I feel like I need to say something to them to make the drop it. Not sure what though and they do have a very immature personality so doubt anything will work.

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 06/10/2024 18:03

Have you not got anything exciting going on in your life to keep going on about this

It's really tickled you hasn't it

If I had a penny for everytime you brought this up

Fuck off

daisychain01 · 06/10/2024 18:07

If you're in a new job and still serving your probation period, I wouldn't make an issue about it, and definitely don't have a go at the annoying colleague. They obviously don't have enough work to do or they've got their own self esteem problems if they can be bothered to continually highlight a trivial error of a new employee. It says more about them than you and people are probably rolling their eyes at his crass behaviour. When he's around, style it out, smile and change the subject. The idiot will soon get bored.

You could bring your mistake to the attention of your manager, apologise and say you've noted the mistake and have taken every step to make sure it won't happen again, that will make you the bigger person.

FrightDay · 06/10/2024 18:19

@Sunshineclouds11 I would like to use all of those. Realistically I'd probably only say the second one.

It's just so bloody annoying and actually really distracting.

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NotThisShitAgain121 · 03/07/2026 14:58

My response shut the fuck up and give it a rest.

Here a is a politer response

YANBU to be annoyed, and no, you don't have to just absorb this until it dies down on its own — especially since it sounds like it isn't dying down, it's becoming a bit, which means without you saying something it could easily keep going.
Worth separating two things: the mistake itself (minor, fixed, no impact — genuinely a non-issue) and what she's doing with it (repeatedly bringing it up, joking about it in front of others). Those are not the same size problem. The first is nothing. The second is someone choosing to keep a small thing alive because it's apparently entertaining to her, at your expense, while you're still new and probably still working out your footing with the team.
Since you've clocked that she's immature and a "make her see reason" conversation probably won't land, I'd skip trying to get her to understand and go straight to a clear, calm, slightly flat statement instead — said once, in the moment, next time it comes up. Something like:
"Alright, I think that one's done now" or "Okay, we can let that one go" — said lightly but without a smile, so it doesn't read as playing along. Immature humour often runs on getting a reaction, amused or flustered, either works for the joke. Flat and mildly bored is usually the least fun response to keep it going.
If it doesn't stop after that, a slightly more direct one-to-one works too: "You've mentioned that a few times now — can we let it drop? It's genuinely not a big deal but it's a bit much at this point." Said privately, not in front of the audience she's been performing for, since some of this is likely for the room as much as it is about you.
If she keeps going after you've said something directly, that stops being "immature personality" and starts being worth flagging to a manager, particularly given you're new and it's already reached the point where lots of people know about it. You don't need it to be a big drama to mention it — just "X keeps bringing up a minor mistake I made and it's becoming a bit much" is enough to put on record if it continues.

Morepositivemum · 03/07/2026 15:02

If you’re new unfortunately you make a comment and you’ll be seen as a troublemaker. It is a bit nuts though, surely all new people make mistakes!!!

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