Lighthearted. If you became leader of the universe...

[OverthinkingOlive]

What new rules would you put into place?

1. People who spit on the floor would be fined £100,000 every single time. With increasing interest

1. People would be breathalysed before boarding a plane - and turned away if levels were too high

1. Crisps and fucking annoying rustling wrappers would be banned from all public transport and cinemas

1. Love Island would be scrapped and any contestant on any TV show would have to sign a contract promising to return to obscurity at the end of the show

1. Self service checkouts do not exist

Phones and other portable devices would be incapable of transmitting sound unless through headphones.
No dogs in any indoor public places.
Media to just report the actual news without any commentary, spin or bias.

There would be a law prohibiting any mention or image of Donald Trump.

I would make my wardrobe bigger (bit of a niche one based on today's decluttering activity of said wardrobe).

I would like to contribute to this thread but I would not be a benevolent dictator so nothing I would do would fit the "light-hearted" brief. 😁

Wasps could only sting once then die, just like bees. That would learn 'em!

Agree with all OP's rules except the last one. Self service checkouts can be handy at times,if you're in a hurry and there is only a couple of cashiers on despite there being a mile long queue.

😂😂😂 Agreed!

There would need to be a really, really good reason for people to be allowed to destroy green spaces. I’d have Sim City style laws about how much green space there had to be near people’s homes, and golf courses wouldn’t count. Or maybe I’d only let them be golf courses for a few hours a day and the rest of the time they’d have to be public parks. And some would be reserved for women only.

1. Nobody is EVER to attack anybody else by person or object, manually or automatically.

OK that's not light-hearted,

1. Women - sorry, persons with Vs - ALWAYS take preference over men - sorry persons with Ps.
2. Any person with a P smaller than 5 inches/12.2 centimetres has no rights.

Light-hearted?

People who park on pavements would get their own circle of hell

1. No cars, vans, trucks etc., obviously no roads either.
2. No concrete, paths would be mossy and springy
3. No shoes, everyone is barefoot
4. Everywhere is rewilded, herds of of wild sheep gallop with the deer across the meadows of London

I would imprison anyone who walks to their car in a busy car park, then takes half an hour to get in: fasten seat belt, apply make up, eat sandwich, read a fucking newspaper etc while people queue for a space.

Families will be limited to one dog which must attend training classes or be taken away.

The result of any sporting event may be discussed in the twenty four hours following the final whistle and must then never be mentioned again.

Everyone else has to get off the road when I'm driving.

@ConflictofInterest • Everywhere is rewilded, herds of of wild sheep gallop with the deer across the meadows of London
There's sheep on Hampstead Heath at the moment, cropping the tricky bits.
My rules:

• bar snacks must always be served with drinks

-no back packs on people over 16

• no sound from devices allowed in public

create a new philosophy based on humans being good and better humans, then make plans to expand the military / defence to begin the milky way galaxy colonisation

People who walk back and forth and around in tight circles gesticulating wildly whilst they are on the phone in a busy high street should have their phones taken from them and stamped on in front of their very eyes.

Anyone found putting the sticker from a disposable vape on top of a bin should be made to inhale the vale via an orifice of my choosing.

Astroturf. No.

No one to work on their birthday.

No sign of Christmas in shops etc until last week of November.

Imprisonment for anyone who doesn't say thank you when a door has been held open / another driver has let them through.

Back to school for anyone who uses the wrong there / they're/ their.

I love a birthday day off so I'd be up for that.

I'd like -
Housing that helped create community not division.
Proper affordable and cohesive public transport
Affordable childcare in every area
Free school meals for everyone

Can you tell I lean towards the left.

Three things:

🚨life imprisonment for anyone caught not picking up after their dog 💩
🚨on the spot fine for anyone expressing love for postbox toppers
🚨two speed lanes on pavements in busy areas. Including mandatory use of hand signals when moving from one to the other or slowing down to look at nothing in particular

I would immediately snap my fingers.

Edited to add: I would also institute the three laws of robotics for all sentient beings, especially humans.

-Two lanes on all pavements so fast walkers can get where they need to without dodging the slow coaches. Slow coaches veering into fast lane will be tasered

-People banned from looking at their phones whilst walking in public. Offenders will have their phones put through a shredder.

-Smoking & vaping banned in all public spaces

-Social media conspiracy theorists / arm chair detectives to be sentenced to 5 years full time critical thinking & media study. Failing the course means a full 5 year repeat.

-Celery to be made extinct

-Fat / carb free crisps to be invented

Men without beards would be shot at dawn - unless a medical condition.

Reality TV would be banned.

The capital city of England would be moved to a northern city.

Suits in offices would be banned.

Angela Rayner would be imprisoned purely because I don't like her. In fact, if I prison anyone I didn't like!

Phrases such as 'I reached out to....', 'moving forward', 'new normal' and anything akin to it would be banned and a fine would be levied every time someone said such a thing.

Anything that annoyed me would result in prison time.

Oh and I'd ban cats.

Leaf blowers to be banned. And people who use them, or get their weekly gardener to blow every single leaf off their garden into the street will spend the rest of their days in a windowless room, far away from nature.

Fuck right off! Cat is King 👑