Ever met someone you later learned had done something really bad? **Content warning: thread contains mentions of child abuse**

[user2848502016]

Just asking because a few months ago someone I worked with suddenly stopped coming to work... then we found out he had been found guilty of possessing child porn 😬
He hadn't been working with us for long so didn't know him that well but he just seemed like a nice, slightly boring middle aged man! I know you can't ever tell by looking at someone but it just made me think anyone I know could be doing anything behind closed doors.....

Thread titled edited by MNHQ to add a content warning

Memory loss in dementia tends to be that of short term recall, and a lot depends on the type of dementia and how it manifests. My mum is 93 and has advanced vascular dementia. Most days she’s confused and has little in the way of short term memory. But if l show her old photos or play music of her era - or even if she sees or hears something that triggers a memory she can very accurately recall events from years ago in her past. Particularly the war years when she was evacuated as a child, and her experiences as a result of that.

So pretty poor to assume that anything recalled from the sufferers’ past is inaccurate - whether it’s good or bad - when your standard of judgement is whether they can remember names or turn the oven off. And memory loss in dementia doesn’t manifest as ‘lies’. It’s called confabulation - they are unknowingly inventing stories, and it’s thought to be a coping strategy to make sense of a world they no longer understand or relate to. Without corroboration there’s actually no way of knowing whether that posters’ patient was telling the truth or not.

That’s the best anyone can hope for, there’s no healing from this one.

And maybe the virtue signalling on this thread should just stop. It’s derailing. The same information is being reposted time and time again. We. Get. It.

The amount of people on this thread that think children can make porn is extremely disheartening. Someone convicted of having sexual images of children is not child porn, it’s images of child rape and abuse. Child porn does not exist.

@Rosscameasdoody you may get it but many people on this thread don’t. Kinda dodgy that you’re objecting to anyone standing up for child victims though, really really odd.

Depressingly I can’t think of several acquaintances off the top of my head who I found out later have been done for possessing, even making, CSA images. Hideous really how easily you can think of examples of these disgusting people.
A teacher I had at secondary school always gave off seriously icky vibes, trying to be besties with all the kids etc but nothing that would make you suspect he was who he really was. I saw in the news recently, he’s been done for violent rapes spanning years and years. Some stranger attacks but I believe some on teenagers he used to teach. So vile.

I wonder if this would affect the level of care they received if the carers knew of his past? I'd find it incredibly difficult to be caring and kind towards someone if I knew they had done this in the past.

A girl i was very good friends with in school ended up murdering someone a few years ago. Her poor victim was quite an old guy, father and grandfather. I feel so uneasy when I think about it 😢

Why don't people believe the SS officer was a murderer and torturer? That's what they did.

I was thinking the same, it's absolutely shocking. It seems like a very high percentage of men have a disgusting sexual interest in children as I've been shocked to discover who I thought always seemed like lovely, ordinary men to be pedophiles too.
One was a work colleague who was caught as he'd be accessing child abuse footage on works computer. Another one which completely shocked me was one of my best childhood friends who was a police officer and such a lovely guy. Mind you there were always rumours growing up that his own dad was a child abuser. I could go on as I've known of atleast 2 more men that have been charged with child abuse or possession of child abuse images etc. Because of this I would never ever trust any man around my kids, it's sad but as a mother I need to protect them.

I used to work with a guy who was really charismatic and very good looking, most of the women had a bit of a crush on him. He had a wife and kids and seemed to have the best life. Then one day he didn't turn up for work and we found out he'd been arrested for having child abuse pictures and to make it worse he had them stored on the computer he bought for his kids to do their homework on.

Its amazing how this seems to be a theme in this thread too. It seems we dont know people really.

Actually @BalmyLemons who posted at 7.59 this morning didn’t get the memo, so looks like it does need repeating after all.

Must say, that objecting to people taking a consistent line that child abuse should be called child abuse is really odd hill to chose to die on.

The only thing l’m objecting to is the OP’s thread being hijacked by virtue signalling posters saying the same thing over and over again and lecturing others as though they’re stupid. And l’m not the only one. Well done by the way, l expected a reply along these lines and l wasn’t disappointed.

I agree that child abuse should be called exactly what it is. I’ve posted upthread answering one poster making that very point if you care to look. Using the OP’s thread to make the point repeatedly is pointless and derailing.

I think this is what is so terrifying to us all. x

How can it be pointless when there are still people coming on the thread using the term ‘child porn?’

You’ve made your point that you are bored of hearing this objection, but no-one is obliged to comply with you. You have a choice to skim past these comments. So why not take it? Because at the moment you are contributing to the ‘derailing’ that you claim to object to.

@GiRaFfeNeSs, I have reported your utterly deranged post, which - despite quoting mine - bears absolutely no relation to anything I said. My objection was to the calls for every single poster on the thread to 'call out' the use of the phrase 'child pornography', as if to not do so was somehow a sign of support for both the phrase and, by your logic, the act itself. Cop yourself on.

"The actual law which I have posted above refers to “pornographic” images of children and defines this."

That particular Act may use that word, but that particular Act is not normally used when it comes to charging offenders so what it says is irrelevant.

In fact, in the CPS guidance it specifically warns that offenders should not be charged under that Act.

Most offenders are charged under Section 1, Protection of Children Act 1978 (for "making") and/or Section 160, Criminal Justice Act 1988 (for "possession").

Both of these Acts refer to "indecent photographs".
.

The Act you mentioned, the Coroners and Justice Act 2009, is used when there are non-photographic images. This includes AI generated images, cartoons, manga images, drawings etc.

This particular Act specifically excludes indecent photographs and just relates to drawings etc.

What was her motive?
Going by the comments on this thread, the kindly old man may not have been...

Similar to you, OP.

I had a colleague I thought was a nice, family guy. He worked in the US office and when I visited I used to grab the hot desk opposite him. He'd run me to the airport sometimes - nothing untoward, just the kind of thing he'd have done for anyone.

Then he was arrested for trying to convince a police officer, who was pretending to be an underage boy he'd been online grooming, into sending him naked photos.

He had a wife, young family and his Dad worked at the same firm. I often wonder how they coped with it all.

Rocked me. I never really trust my own instincts about anyone after that.

And yet no one is learning anything!

It’s not the topic of the thread

Porn is sexual images used for gratification, isn’t it?
the prefix Child makes it obvious that there’s abuse and is illegal and harmful to those pictured
but Porn often has that impact, regardless of its genre
I find your focus slightly disturbing

They'd never have got jobs working in schools if that were the case.

The fact is that psychopaths, murderers, child abusers, etc just look and seem like everyone else. It's how they fly under the radar.

When i was at uni, there was this kid in the same year who ordered a hit on his family. Got father killed and brother injured. He got 16 years. Should be out by now. (not in UK)

My DH volunteered with a Youth Club. One of his colleagues was charged with having images of child abuse, when his girlfriend borrowed his laptop and was nosey (good job). The guy resigned before he was kicked out.
Lots of the parents lobbied my DH to have him reinstated and my DH was verbally abused when DH wouldn't put in a good word for him. None of the parents knew the reason he had left but blamed my DH and campaigned vigorously against DH.
Even when the man was convicted, the parents kept up their abusive campaign against my DH and he was, eventually, moved to a different town's youth club.