Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

Teacher, teacher I declare,
I can see your underwear.
Is it black or is it white?
Oh my god it's covered in shite!

@napody
Funnily enough I did live in Northampton in the 70s, 80s and 90s 👀

In the '80s my Dad went to the wood merchant and asked for a 2 metre length of 3 by 4, ie 3 inches by 4 inches, and no-one found it at all odd!

How many times has (girl’s name) had it off
in an English country garden?
She’s had it twice and thought it very nice
in an English country garden
What’s behind the rose bush?
What’s behind the cow shed?
Now she’s had a baby
That’s not so bad cos (boy’s name) is the dad
in an English country garden

I’m popeye the sailor man, I live in a pot of jam, and when it gets sticky, it sticks to my Willy, I’m popeye the sailor man (toot toot)

No motorway for Uncle Billy for us.

My uncle Billy had a ten foot willy, and he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake, so hit it with a rake, and now it's only 4 foot 4.

North Wales.

Clapping rhyme:

Down by the bumble (?) bushes,
Down by the tree.
True love for you my darling
True love for me.
When we get married
We'll raise a family.
A boy for you, a girl for me,
How many fishes in the sea?
Twelve and twelve makes 24,
Kick the teacher out the door.
If she says
Don't do that
Hit her on the head with a baseball bat!

Our version of popeye was
I'm popeye the sailor man
I live in the Isle of man
And when I go swimming
I kiss all the women
I'm popeye the sailor man!

Nothing changes! I hope the MN pearl clutchers don't discourage their children from these rhymes etc.. I've read most of the thread and no-one has complained yet, which I find quite encouraging!

Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint sauce
And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb went too - of course

Mr Silly lost his willy (West Cornwall, mid 80s)

I work in a school and I'm sure that most of these rhymes would cause an uproar now!

Ooh, yer bugger.
I've been trying to remember that for 40 bloody minutes.

Early 80s in the West Midlands.

We had another, but not within earshot of mum.

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin shit the bed,
Santa Claus lost his drawers,
On the motorway.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile lost a wheel
and the Joker got away HEY!

USA in the 70s

London 80’s apologies for the crudeness!

Jesus Christ, super star wears frilly knickers and a Playtex bra

even worse:

If you go down to the woods tonight your in for a big surprise,
Your mum and dad are having a shag,
uncle Frank is having a wank,
and aunty Flo is having a blow with grandad.

No idea where that came from it’s god awful.

Thus losing some great innocent fun! I don't think anyone was ever adversely affected by them.

@Nellieinthebarn correct!

Did a cow kick you in the belly?

I'm quite enjoying all the variations in the final length of Billy:s dick after the partial amputation.

Mr Bobby done a jobby on the motorway

Last line when we sang that (NW England, '70s) was:

"Oh, my God, it's dynamite!"

Donald Duck,
Did some muck,
On the kitchen floor
Mum, Mum
Wipe his bum
Before he does some more!

The Mayor of Bayswater
He had such a pretty daughter
And the hairs on her dicky di-do
Came down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a fairy light/bit of shite/ on ....

Rugby song, South Wales, early 1980s

my kids sang the version in Northern Ireland 🤣

I knew this one too. Born in the 80s in the South West.

My mate used to sing this a lot (when she was a bit drunk) - to the tune of Sing a Song of Sixpence...

Sing a song of syphilis,
A fanny full of crabs,
4 and 20 blackheads, twice as many scabs,
When the scabs popped open, the heads began to sing,
Wasn't that a manky cunt to stick your fingers in.

After a bit of a Google, it seems she changed the lyrics to one that is very similar.