Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

@ThreeLocusts same version as you was born in 96, north yorkshire 🙂

i have one we all sang in primary school anyone else hear of this...

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's baby Franky ? 😂

Seem to have had a mashup version in the 90s in the south of England:
Jingle bells batman smells
Robin flew away
The batmobile lost a wheel on the M4 motorway...

We also had:
We three kings of Orient are
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter blowing it's hooter
Smoking a fat cigar.
Oh star of wonder, star of light
Sit in a box of dynamite
Light the fuse and off it goes
Around the corner to Bethlehem.

Yup Uncle Billy lost his willy in Northampton in the 1980s too!

He farted through the keyhole
And paralysed the cat

I was born in the 70s and learned these at school. 😀

Jingle bells Batman smells, Robin flew away. Uncle billy lost his Willy on the motorway! Born late 1989’s so maybe 1994. Midlands.

@YeFaerieBean OMG thanks for reminding me! 😂

You'll never get to heaven
With a dog for a pet
Coz the Lord don't want
His lamposts wet.

You'll never get to heaven
In your dad's car
Coz your dad's car
Can't go that far.

You'll never get to heaven
In your mum's bra
Coz your mum's bra
Won't stretch that far.

You'll never get to heaven
On a sheet of glass
Coz a sheet of glass
Will cut your arse.

But if you get there
Before I do
Just dig a little hole
And pull me through.

But if I get there
Before you do
I'll dig a little hole
And spit on you!

I ain't gonna grieve
I ain't gonna worry
I ain't gonna leave this world
In a hurry
I ain't gonna grieve,
Oh Lord, no more.

Same! But M6 motorway for us !

Uncle Billy lost his willy on the motorway. 90s. East Midlands.

Also....

Popeye the sailor man,
He lives in a caravan
When he goes swimming
He kisses the women
He's Popeye the sailor man!

I never knew the Uncle Billy variant of that verse, but there's always ...

"My friend Billy had a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake...
and now it's 6 feet 4."

Extra points for using the Imperial system of measurement even though we were chanting that in the early 80's!

This is crazy because 1980s Glasgow we sang robin lost his underpants but found a milkyway

Ours was the batmobile lost it's wheel too.

Billy and his willy were in a different ryhme in early 90s Birmingham:

My friend Billy had a ten foot willy, he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's six foot four.

There were several verses to ‘when Suzie was a baby/schoolgirl/teenager etc’
eg.
When Susie was a schoolgirl a schoolgirl Susie was
She went ‘Miss! Miss! I can’t do this’

When Susie was a teenager, a teenager Susie was
She went ‘ooh! Ah! I’ve lost my bra! I left my knickers in my boyfriend’s car’
North Midlands mid-seventies

The one I remember about uncle Billy was…

My Uncle Billy had a 10 foot willy and he showed it to the Lady next door.
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it’s only 6 foot four.

Ha! Didn't see this when I started typing!

If you go down to the woods today you're in for a big suprise
Cos Mum and Dad are having a shag and Uncle Bob is pulling his nob and Aunty Flo is having a go with the milkman North Wales 1970's

Has anyone said:

Not last night but the night before
3 black Tom cats came knocking at my door
One with a fiddle
One with a drum
One with a pancake stuck to his bum

No idea who uncle Billy is!

May I present the north easts finest;

Jingle bells batman smells
Robin flew away
He lost his pants in the middle of france
And found them in bombay
Hey!

I think this might be from Under Milk Wood...or at least the sentiment!

Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner chocolate’s made! I remember thinking this was so rude in the 70s! 😁

We three kings of orient are
Wearing knickers, tuppence a pair
How fantastic, no elastic
Falling down everywhere!

Push a penny in the slot
Out comes chocolate plop plop plop

Uncle billy was losing his willy in the south west in the 90s for me too!

Re OP, this made me laugh out loud, love it. Remember it from when I was little, around 1980 (how did that happen!) and live in the south east too 😊.

Ip, dip,
dog shit
fucking bastard
silly git
you-are-not-it

We were horrible children 😅