Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

@ThreeLocusts ,
I grew up in the States in 70's and the version on our playground was:
"Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker got away (Hey!)"

You won’t get to heaven on a boy scout’s knee
too knobble-ley

You won’t get to heaven in a baked beans tin
got baked beans in

This version. North East England mid 90s.

the version i knew of that was..

Our Sol, Our Sol, Our Soldiers went to Sea,
For Cu, For Cu, For Curiosity
To fight for the count, to fight for the count, to fight for the Country.

Jingle Bells batman smells, Robin flew away kojak lost his lollipop and stole a milky way. 1980s

We did that one too but it was Billy was a Bulldog still makes me giggle
1980s Hampshire

the hanging low one for us was

Do your balls hang low
Can you swing 'em to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you chuck 'em on your shoulder like a regimental soldier
Oh you'll never make a sailor if your balls hang looooow
😄

Same greater Manchester late 70,s early 80,s

I remember one about Diana Dors:

Diana Dors, she was a movie star
She wore see-through knickers and a see-through bra
Fire cracker, fire cracker, boom boom boom
Fire cracker, fire cracker, boom boom boom

Then there was a very rude one about Suzy. There were several verses but the playground favourite (to be accompanied by actions) was:
When Suzy was a teenager, a teenager Suzy was
And she went,
"Ooh, ah, I've lost my bra
I've left my knickers in my boyfriend's car"

Hey, Yo, my name is Joe
my balls are bigger than Mexico

The Popeye one I knew:

'I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
And when I go fishing I chase all the women
I'm Popeye the sailor man'

We three Beatles of Liverpool are
George in a taxi, Paul in a car
John on a scooter, beeping his hooter
Following Ringo Starr

Pre-war 'Hark. the herald angels sing,"Mrs Simpson stole our King."

Exactly as you sung it OP, from the late 90s, early 00s, Chester area.

✨I didn't watch much TV and never saw Blue Peter until I was in my teens. I was shocked they'd used that song for a children's TV show theme tune...Was a few years before I discovered the tune wasn't supposed to have lyrics 😂 :

Do your balls hang low?
Can you swing them to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Do you get a funny feeling when you're hanging from the ceiling?
Oh, you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low!

✨As a child we had the Christmas themed:

We three kings of orient are
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter beeping his hooter
Smoking a fat cigar

✨And the unsavoury teddy bears picnic, without any teddy bears:

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'll never believe your eyes
'coz mum and dad are having a shag
While uncle Frank is having a wank
And aunty Flo is having a go with grandad!

✨As we got older there was also what was supposed to be a sweet song about love, marriage and bicycles, with vastly different lyrics to the ones I knew:

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy, my balls are turning blue
I can't afford a condom
But a plastic bag will do
And you'll look sweet, upon a sheet
With me on top of you!

✨Then there was the song about rowing a boat down the river, that was supposed to be harmless. My version didn't involve boats though:

Roll, roll, roll your spliff,
Twist it at the end,
Spark it up and take a lug
Then pass it to your friend.

When your friend has had a lug,
Pass it to your mum,
But once your mum has had a lug
You'd better fucking run!

Location: SE England 80s/90s

Mary had a little lamb
The farmer shot it dead
So now it goes to school with her
Between two bits of bread

Manchester - 60s or 70s (not sure)

My Auntie Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers
She sat on the gas and burnt her arse
and down came Santa Clause

East central scotland 1970s

We also had …

whilst shepherds washed their socks by night all seated round a tub
a bar of fairy soap came down and they began to scrub

also..

good king Wenceslas last looked out on the feast of Steven
silly bugger he fell out on to a red hot cinder
brightly shine his arse all night ….(can’t remember)
it ended with .. he said you bloody fool

thanks!

I'm Popeye the Sailorman, I live in a pot of jam,
The jam is so sticky, it sticks to my dicky,
I'm Popeye the Sailorman.

I was just going to post that ditty but we sang about P J Proby.

thanks!

Glasgow circa 80’s was jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away … Kojak lost his lollipop and bought a Milkyway.

This for me too. West Yorkshire. Late 1980s.

Yep, uncle Billy lost his willy on the motorway in the southwest in the 90s too!

We also had:
If you wanna be my lover
Sex is 50p
Condoms are a fiver
Buy one get one free
(To the tune of the spice girls)

Interesting that the contraception cost more than the second I always thought