Do you host play dates? If you don’t host play dates for your primary aged DC, why not?

[BoxOfCards]

If you don’t host play dates for your over 5’s, why not?

DC aged 6.5 never gets invited to play dates.

When she started Reception she hit it off with X. I invited X for a couple of play dates but the favour was never returned. They are now Year 2.

DC is still friends with X, but as my DC has never been invited back to X’s for a play date, whenDC asks for a play date I suggest another friend and not X. I don’t want to be mean but don’t really see why I should provide childcare for X if the favour is never returned.

I threw DC a little Easter egg hunt & tea with a small group of friends. I made quite a lot of effort (not over the top or anything) and I hoped perhaps this would result in invitations back but still no one has invited DC to play at their house.

My house is quite small and cramped (it’s a lovely home just small) so play dates can feel a bit stressful with kids trashing the place but I want DC to have friends so I make the effort. Why doesn’t anyone else? Are play dates not the norm these days? We live in quite a middle class well to do area if that makes any difference.

DC is getting upset and emotional at me and saying she wants to go to friends’ houses to play and I have tried to explain the etiquette that she needs to be invited but she doesn’t understand.

DC is easy going, seems popular enough at school and from what I have seen at birthday parties etc. Everyone is friendly enough to me at the school gate etc. So I can’t see any obvious reason for the lack of invites.

I think here there aren't that many when kids are that young I suppose. I host a lot of playdates for my 9 year old daughter and her friends but she goes to just as many. Birthday parties are more targeted as well. For my 6 year old, I feel like her main form of seeing her friends outside of school is at birthday parties and there aren't that many play dates other than that.

I personally really enjoy hosting play dates.

Because I’m embarrassed about the decor of my house.

What age do parents drop and go? My Dd is 6 and assuming ones from school I don’t know that well, the parents would want to stay?

Because most people work full time I expect. It means you can't do it after school.

We're in London and a lot of DC's friends are in small flats as well so no room. It's quite common to do a casual meet up in the park near school on a Friday when people tend to be more flexible.

I wouldn't see it as childcare either. We have childcare. It's likely to be more annoying and mess the day up to drop them at a playdate or pick up tbh. We do plenty of socialising with other families but at park meets or sports etc we mutually do, meeting up to go to an event etc.

Whilst it is nice if people reciprocate, there are many reasons some people may not. If you want to encourage friendships, then I would keep inviting the kids your DD likes to playdates at your house. It's not a tit for tat thing.