Husband told a driver that he needed to get a hair transplant

[Elektrathon]

Hi all. I just wanted others' opinions on something my husband did earlier.

My husband and I were walking out of a hotel driveway in London. It was a bit unclear whether it was pedestrianised or not. A car came up behind us and hooted (not too loudly) a few times, because we were in the way - it gave us a shock. My husband knocked on his window as he drove past us, to show he was annoyed. The driver drove past us, then, when on the road, the driver rolled his window down and was gesturing to say 'What's the problem?'.

My husband then shouted across the road at him, 'you should get a hair transplant'.

I thought that a personal remark like this (since he was implying he was losing his hair) is unkind.

I would say that the driver had been unnecessarily impatient with us, and it would have been ok to criticise his hooting - but not his appearance.

I told my husband it was unkind and I was upset with him, but he doesn't think he did anything wrong, and he got annoyed at me for being critical.

What do others think?

@AGoingConcern no, he doesn't like being told he's in the wrong. When I've criticised something he's done at other times, he normally a) doesn't agree with me and b) gets annoyed that I've ruined his day/evening/weekend.

A remark about his driving and fitness to hold a licence would be OK by me. If the car was of the make that seem to be driven by insecure men, a comment to that effect.

Not a comment about something that is genetic, agree totally wrong.

No! 🤣🤣

Some threads on here are more entertaining than an episode of two doors down

Your husband sounds awful. Very aggressive. My Dad's best friend had a nervous breakdown many years ago because of hair loss ( transplants werent a thing). To make fun of somebody's appearance is not on.

Your husband is a Prat, how else is the driver to get your attention when you're blocking the road. Then to make a personal comment , yuk .

Only thick people who can't think of a valid response resort to making it personal. Your husband has made himself look incredibly stupid.

Obviously a twat with unresolved issues.

Personal comments are never ok, and I don't think the driver did anything wrong in using his horn either.
If the situation was reversed and you were driving and a bloke banged on your window and called you a fat cow, a scenario I think a lot of us could relate to, would he think that was ok?
It's just unnecessary and rude, not worthy of respect. Would definitely give me the ick.

He sounds horrible.

Thanks everyone for the replies. It probably sounds stupid, but I start doubting myself in situations like this (thinking I might be being overly critical/ making too much of a fuss).

I did think of the reverse , @OttersAreMySpiritAnimal - I'd be shocked if someone commented on mine when I was driving.

I would need to see the driver to decide on this. Maybe he’ll take your husbands advice, go to Turkey for a hair transplant and turn his life around 🤷

🤣🤣

Your husband sounds like a total idiot. It's the sort of thing my XH would have said and thought he'd said something incredibly witty.

It's just aggressive and personal and stupid because no one needs to get a hair transplant, being bald is hardly a massive social faux pas.

The bald truth is that dhusband put himself in a potentially hairy situation commenting on this gentleman's shiny dome.

Extremely rude and also rather dangerous - that behaviour could have led to a road rage incident.

I'm wondering why the focus is the comment that was made. Your husband reacted aggressively and banged on the car window- that's a much bigger issue than any comment about someone appearance.

I hope you don't have any children, definitely don't have any with him. Aggressive behaviour isn't something you want your children to observe or worse still, become victim to.

Sometimes I think about leaving Mumsnet and then things like this pop up that remind me why I stay here.

My husband has alopecia so shaves his head, if someone said that to him and I was there, I’d get out the car and kick him in the balls.

I don’t know how you can look at him. What else does he shout. Is he the arse hope that tells women they are fat?

Oh dear. I think you need to make it clear to him that grown-ups who want to remain in grown-up relationships do not behave like this. There's a (small) chance that if you explain now, at this early stage, how unacceptable you find this kind of red-flag behaviour, he might stop it. Otherwise I fear your marriage might not last very long.

This is spot on.

I feel very very sorry for you that he's hidden this side of his character from you till now.

There are plenty of these men about, we've all met them - road rage, bullying others, probably more often bullying women than men when they think no one they know is watching.

Amd your husband is one of them.

Think seriously about this incident, it could be the start of something now he has a ring on your finger. It's easier to get out of a short marriage than a long one.
As a little girl did you dream that your future husband would have the potential to be a complete twat and you'd live happily ever after? No, probably not.
Please don't come back in a few years time saying he's abusive to you and your first child but you won't leave him 'cos you love him.

There’s another thread where a woman lied about who she is for 18 months. Pretending to like tv shows she didn’t, that she liked staying up late, loved sex. All a lie. And many responses are it is the man’s fault not hers. She was just booting her best foot forward, meeting his expectations. She’s nothing like she’s lied she is.

and here we have a man possibly doing the same. And people pity the woman.

Ltb