Worried I'm failing my twins who have just started reception

[RubbishTwinMum]

They've always strongly resisted my attempts to get them writing or learning letters. They're extremely active children and don't like sitting still for two minutes. I've revisited this frequently, but not pushed it as I don't want to put them off even more. They do know the alphabet and can recognise their names. They can also write their names, but that's about it.

This week they've been learning three letters/sounds at school. The teacher has made an entry on the class app asking for parents to focus on these over the weekend, as "a small group of children are still very unfamiliar" with it. My twins are tagged, and six other children. The other children in this group are all the youngest ones (mine are January babies). It's a class of 29, so I feel like they are lagging way behind already 😔
I'm really worried that I haven't done enough to encourage them, and I've set them up for a rubbish start. Not sure what I'm hoping to gain by this post, just venting really! I feel awful and such a failure.

Children learn at different rates. Your twins sound perfect and they will learn when they’re ready.
Read to them, go to the library and get books they love, draw if they want, play with play doh to help strengthen their hands, talk to them and get outside as much as possible.
Forget other children.
You sound like an amazing mum.

I had to be creative so to speak with my ds and his learning. We use to practice writing outside with chalk, mud, wet paint brush. We use to use door numbers to count in 2's. Number plates for anything we could from what letter comes next, to what do the sounds of those to letters make, add, times all the numbers. It will come. My ds now 15 and in top sets for everything but it took time. We use to read in silly places, under covers with torches, under kitchen tables anywhere.
Good luck and don't worry

I cannot believe a teacher did this !!!!
disgrace

I used an app with my kids ‘Teach Your Monster to Read’

Mines the same at this age, June baby in reception.
Playing outside is way more fun than reading/writing! It's stressful getting her to concentrate!

What a strange and stupid way for the teacher to go about expressing concerns. Publicly highlighting which children are lagging in a way that other parents can see the names?!

This is really odd to me. It's only September, they are very little and new to it all, and there really doesn't seem to be any reason to be panicking parents like that. Obviously you can support what they're learning at school to the extent that it doesn't cause you or them stress. But in the end it's primarily the school/teacher's job to ensure they are well enough supported to learn what they need to know.

You are doing absolutely fine, I think twin mums deserve a medal honestly. It's a hard job having two at the same time. I'm sure your two will get there on their own schedule.

There is nothing wrong with children at this stage being unfamiliar with the sounds. That’s perfectly normal, and why schools will do daily phonics practice to help.

I work in a reception class, we send home the 4 sounds that have been learnt each week along with a reading book for parents to look at with the children but with no pressure.

They'll learn in their own good time.
I would try to make it as fun as possible. Instead of trying to sit them at a table with paper and a pencil, I'd use Playdough to form letters, or sand or shaving foam in a tray to write. Mine used to love the aqua mat things. You have a pen that you fill with water and then draw or write on the mat and it eventually fades.
Foam letters in the bath are good.
Just going for a walk you can point out letters that you can see, or make it a game and see who can see the most (relevant letters of the week).
Basically, try and make it as fun as possible so they don't even realise they're learning!
They'll get there!

It seems a bit off for them to be “tagged” on the app! I wouldn’t worry though they don’t sound like they’re miles behind and my DS could barely write his name or do much else when he started reception.

I did like @FunLurker did and tried to encourage learning while out and about. Looking at road signs and door numbers and shop names etc. We did enforce daily reading practice from the start of school just looking at the Biff and Chip books which started with just pictures and you talk about what they think is happening on each page by looking at the pictures, then gradually moving on to books with a few words.

It definitely doesn’t sound like you’re failing them. They’ve made it to nearly five years old, they’re active and sound happy and having two at once is not easy!

They will soon pick up as they will see what their piers are doing at school and want to do the same x

I have a ds just started reception this term. He, and the whole class, have learnt "s" and "t" sounds this week. Nothing more than that. Your kids sound completely, absolutely normal. Some classes move quicker than others but in a few years time they'll all be reading the same books. Don't waste another minute worrying about it! Teacher sounds like a numpty for making such a silly and insensitive comment.

Sorry, but as a teacher myself, I find the way she went about this awful. Tagging you and other parents?? Could you see who else was tagged? I obviously don’t encourage complaining about nothing but this I would complain about. There are many other, more sensitive, ways she could have gone about this. We would certainly not be allowed (or want to) to do that in our school.

I'm shocked that the children have been tagged. A discrete and encouraging word at pick up is more appropriate.

I’m also shocked that the teacher tagged you in a post like that. That’s not the way I’d expect any teacher to bring up a “concern”. And I use that word because she seems to think it is, but at 3 weeks in they’re still settling into the school routine, FGS.

FWIW I wouldn’t be concerned right now, but agree with PPs, you can help them in a fun way to learn.

Wow! No wonder everyone is so anxious these days! My twins are in their final school year so not that old. Thankfully there were no apps in those days to be tagged on!

It's already double the effort to get any homework and reading completed when you have twins.

Honestly OP, my twins did not know any sounds at this age but I remember being amazed how they learned to read once they started school and of course we did a bit with them at home to support their learning.

Please don't feel like a failure but of course try to build in some time for their reading/letter sounds at home.

Did you teach them to recite the alphabet (like the song) or teach them the letter sounds? Tbh if the first this probably wasn't actually that helpful. These are the letter names, and children hardly use these initially - they need to be ae associate the letter (what it looks like) with the sound it makes - not its name.
Thats the best thing to focus on at home.
Loads and loads of kids don't want to write at this age

Don’t ignore the teachers message about learning the phonics and counting. She is wrong in tagging the children publicly, You can argue about whether kids should start learning this young. I have two DC. DC1 was a Spring baby and behind in reception. She couldnt do CVC words, didn’t know her alphabets or count when she started reception. We worked on it with her playing games, as others suggested up thread, and she’s caught up by end of KS1. We didn’t sit down in front of a workbook. Apps may work. Or outdoor games. There were loads of resources online.

DC2 is an autumn baby and was miles ahead in reception. She was bored at preschool and can already decode CVC words. She can sound out the alphabet phonetically. They taught it at preschool, which we didn’t know from DC1 because she never played at the phonics table.

If the teacher publicly tagged children, then that's inappropriate. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, but I'd have a quiet word with her next week asking her not to publicly tag your children in this way again and instead please could she speak to you/pop a note in their bags if there's something specific she needs to tell you.

As for your concerns, your kids are just getting used to the structure of school. Give them time and just continue to support their learning at home.

Op they are still so young, don’t worry. my parents were told I likely had LD when I was in reception and I ended up getting all As at A level and being “gifted and talented”. Just be kind and encouraging to your children that’s all you can do at this age xx

I think that's mean of the teacher. My three DC all started school with different reading skills (just due to how much interest they'd shown). It doesn't matter - they soon catch up. Let your DC run about OP.

Another shout out for the app ‘teach your monster how to read’ - I wish I had discovered this sooner for my son!

How shitty of your school to publicly name the children's progress like that. Awful. I'd be asking the teacher if they find a more discreet way or communicating.

Try not to worry as all kids learn at different rates. Continue to encourage in fun ways, reading street signs and shop names, go to the library, daily reading, Alphablocks.

I'd put a complaint in naming and shaming like this!

My DS was very advanced. He could read and write at 3. One of his friends didn't know the alphabet or how to write her name until she was 5 and reading and writing came later. But she soon caught up and went to university. It's a long distance run not a sprint and your DC already knows the alphabet and their names.

Honestly they will be fine.

Me too. Not sure if it’s still the same but it used to be free on a pc but you had to pay on a pad/ phone

The teacher shouldn’t be tagging indiviidal
childs’ progress for everyone to see, it’s a fairly clear gdpr breach as it’s be sensitive information surely?

also, my reception teacher mum has many many times said focus on the social, emotional and physical before reception and let the teacher teach - that’s their job! Of course children are unfamiliar with letter sounds, they haven’t been to school yet.

I hate this seeming categorisation of children who are so young!! Please don’t panic at all you’ve done nothing wrong. We were told my summer born was behind after 1 month of reception and that they expected him to still be behind going into year 1. He was meeting expectations by end of reception. All children develop at different rates.

try do a bit at the weekend as they’ve requested but really don’t panic