Worried I'm failing my twins who have just started reception

[RubbishTwinMum]

They've always strongly resisted my attempts to get them writing or learning letters. They're extremely active children and don't like sitting still for two minutes. I've revisited this frequently, but not pushed it as I don't want to put them off even more. They do know the alphabet and can recognise their names. They can also write their names, but that's about it.

This week they've been learning three letters/sounds at school. The teacher has made an entry on the class app asking for parents to focus on these over the weekend, as "a small group of children are still very unfamiliar" with it. My twins are tagged, and six other children. The other children in this group are all the youngest ones (mine are January babies). It's a class of 29, so I feel like they are lagging way behind already 😔
I'm really worried that I haven't done enough to encourage them, and I've set them up for a rubbish start. Not sure what I'm hoping to gain by this post, just venting really! I feel awful and such a failure.

We had this in the first half term of reception except it was ds who pointed out that other children already knew the phonics they were learning. He went to a lovely Montessori nursery with forest school every afternoon, the children who went to the primary school nursery had been learning the phonics scheme since the Easter before, the other children from his nursery were in a similar position and all very active like yours it's what they were used to from nursery. His teacher was lovely told me he was very bright and learning well and they'd all be the same by Christmas. He's now in year one, in the top group for read write inc (large school they stream into cross class groups of 6-8 for literacy and numeracy) and the teachers tell me his imagination, vocabulary and curiosity are beyond his years.
There's more to life than learning a phonics scheme. The teacher is wrong to have said this on that platform and this early on.

What about watching alphablocks on cbeebies for those sounds they have been given? Once they're familiar with them then you can go outside and practice whilst running around or building the sounds with twigs/leaves etc.

Definitely agree with PP that this should not have been done publicly.
It’s literally September OP. They have been there 3 weeks. They’re not dunces yet! Some will always be further ahead than others.

My child left reception still at the stage of recognising letters, unable to blend, etc. On Pink books (level 1). She just wasn't ready. Ironically she loved books!

She tracked behind the whole of Primary... sometimes nearly catching up, then falling back. Then suddenly flew in Yr6. And even more at Secondary. (Where she's top set in half the subjects, and second set in the others)

They all develop at different rates. They are 4yo. Some just aren't ready yet. But there's probably other stuff they are extremely good at (mine was the best at bike riding and climbing!)

My younger son did not go to nursery or school till yr 1 he went not knowing even the alphabet but he could write his name and was very good at drawing he had well developed pen control. I read to him all the time and he lived an outdoor life he was exceedingly articulate he had older siblings and knew about sharing taking turns and regularly played board games aimed at older children. Within one term he was the best reader in his class and a free reader by the end of yr 1 he attained 3A* at A level and went onto to a top university. Children abilities develop at different rates my DS wasn’t reading to read until yr 1 but he had other abilities beyond his age, school before yr 1 wouldn’t have suited him and I was in the fortunate position to be able to keep him at home unfortunately schools can’t cater for this. IME most children get there in the end the adults around them just need to patient.

Echoing others who can’t believe the teacher did this. Really not ok! For a start there will be SEN kids etc. And as you say, some of the children are 20% younger than others!

They're so young still, in many countries children don't even go to school until they're 6 and do just fine.
Also it's still only September, they're just getting used to the school routine still surely?
The teacher doesn't sound great, reception class is supposed to be learn through play?
Do a bit of practice with them but pushing it too much could make them resist it even more

I’m sure they’ll catch up quickly. But I would help them like the teacher has suggested.
it seems a bit unfair of the teacher to actually tag the kids as you’d quickly find out if your DC we’re up to speed by asking them.

I mean aside from it being disgraceful that they are being publicly named by the teacher in front of all the parents via the app, they started school 3 weeks ago so they are still getting to grips with learning this stuff so I would really take it with a pinch of salt OP! My DD just started reception too, she could recognise her name and knew letters but that was it as she had zero interest in that sort of thing at nursery or home.

If your teacher thinks there’s an issue then he/she should be supporting you with strategies about how to help your children with their learning. I’d be having a word with them I think!

they are too young to worry about that
with our twins their nursery teacher said my son at the age of 4 was below average and his sister very bright to the point of writing a letter to their school to say they needed to be in separate classes for his confidence in reception.
He's been to grammar school, achieved all 9s and 8s in his GCSES, predicted A* plus As in his A levels.....seriously don't worry about it.
I'm guessing you have boys so they are also later academically too.
What you can do though - is write five key sight words on cards and stick to their wardrobe door and ask them before they go to bed to point to which card says 'is' etc - change the 5 after a few days.
buy some sand and ask them to draw alphabet with their fingers in it
buy spinning tops and encourage them to spin these as helps build finger muscles for pencil control
read to them each night

Mine didn’t want to do any writing practice - we used sand - they loved it

Strange for teacher to do that and reference individual children on a group app. Is this going to continue every time they don’t meet standards? This doesn’t happen at my school.
Being able to recognise and write their names is great. It’s only been a few weeks!!

It's the way it is, children learn at different rates and have different abilities. Don't worry about the ages of the others, it's different every year - funnily enough the highest achievers in DD's primary school class where all born - one in April, the other five June-August.

Moving forward, if it's suggested parents spend time helping DC, then all you can do is go through this with them. They will have to sit still at school, so you could do a short amount of time today and tomorrow, highlighting the odd thing you've said every day that includes those sounds, firstly explaining it to them, then maybe in a week or two, asking them to pick out.

Its rrally great as a parent I you can remind kids of what they've learned during the week.

BUT this doesnt have to be hard work or book work.
Mine have loved Teach Your Monster (used it with 3 of my children now, sure I will with the 4th) and also watching alphablocks together. I highly recommend both. 2 episodes of alphablocks is 10 minutes, then 10 minutes of teach your monster. It's not a long time and if you do it two id three times a week it makes a big difference.

I have twins that are very active. It is tough. Don't feel bad - I've also taught a lot of twins and you know they do actually catch up although it takes a while I'm mnay cases. But at senior school they have someone to revise with.

I mean trying to get 7 sets of parents and kids to stay behind on a busy Friday and having a quiet word one by one isn't great either, as everyone wants to get home for the weekend. I certainly don't have time to form a line at pick up and wait for the teacher to talk to us separately.

No but if it’s anything like the app we have you can also send private messages between parent and teacher which would have been much more appropriate!

I found it really difficult to get my twins to concentrate on anything at that stage. They were only interested in playing with each other, not listening to me. I did manage to get them to listen to a bed time story: reading to them is a really helpful way to improve their language skills.
My daughter was already reading from nursery; my son struggled for ages with decoding (still does), but they are both on for top GCSEs. Kids are very uneven at that age. There may be 6 who need to work on phonics, and 6 more who struggle with toileting, or getting dressed, or sharing.

Bloody hell, that's so weird. I live in France where kids start school at age 3 (or even 2 in some cases) but they don't even start learning to read until the third year of school (equivalent of year 1).

I have twins. Dd1 would sit for an hour reading books with me at age 2… twins just wanted to be moving, all the time! They caught up in year 4 and are now in year 9 doing well with school. My advice, love them, be consistent, try homework but don’t sweat it. We had tears every weekend until I said “nope, we’re not doing this anymore” (halfway through year 1). We did it some weeks but never pushed it when they were in infants, just did reading and games.

To help them @RubbishTwinMum

Look at the old phase 1 Letters and Sounds programme (DfE).
This provides an active range of pre-reading ideas to get ready to read. Makes all the difference.

For the next phase, don't deviate from the phonics programme the school are using by adding in bits of other ideas, programmes and apps. This will confuse them. Focus is much better used on the school provided programme.

Lots of active climbing, throwing, sweeping😆 for gross motor development.

Lots of outdoor play ( water and a brush, mixing mud, collecting and threading leaves, collecting tiny sticks and stones) for fine motor development.

And read to them. Let them choose books in a regular library visit, let them look at books, talk and retell stories.

It will fall into place. Don't worry!

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7aa7b6e5274a34770e630c/LettersandSounds-DFES-00281-2007.pdf

You haven't failed them and they're not "behind". They're 4 year olds who've just started school. Out of my 4 children, 1 was reading at 3, and the other 3 didn't learn until they were 6. It all evened out as children learn different things at different rates.

Identifying the children who are "behind" on a class forum is not on. That needs feeding back to the school.

So glad that WasAp wasn't really a thing when my dc were at primary school.

Literally the only thing I picked up on was the tagging. Wtf? Children's progress is confidential and I would be waging war over that ( and I am really mild mannered!

I know this feels major at the moment, but honestly, it is so unimportant and no indication of how they will do later.

Dd 'failed' her phonics test in reception and the retake in year 1. She is dyslexic (tested aged 7 or 8) and even that is nothing to worry about. She is now an absolutely model student in high school and self confessed teacher's pet.

I really wish primary school education was very different. Things have much more straightforward in high school.

...and I agree that public announcing private data is not on, i would report a data breach to the school office.