Why does nobody care about the abusive guy in baby reindeer?

[Lovefromjuliaxo]

Like lots of you I’ve watched the Netflix show baby reindeer. Thought it was good, if not a bit self indulgent and had a rubbish ending. Also thought it was a bit crap that a disclaimer was added AFTER the credits. Anyway.

Martha behaves badly, and Fiona (the woman in real life that Martha is based on) obviously needs psychiatric help, if not prison. But why does nobody talk about Darrien, who also sexually abused Gadd regularly?

apparantly this guy is well known in the industry (has a different name in real life), Richard Osman has spoke about him. But why is nobody reporting him to the police?

I thought the same, but I don’t know how it works legally. Is it always up to the victim to report to the police?
I also heard Osman say people in the industry know who this guy is. It’s chilling. Reminds me of Savile. Everyone knew yet no one did anything, meanwhile the perpetrator is harming more people.

I honestly cant remember much about this show (even though I watched it, probably with my head in my phone!).
I do remember wondering why on earth he was enabling the delusions of a clearly disturbed woman by messing around with her so much.
It was basically an example of 'how not to treat your stalker' .

I seem to remember at the time people on social media were trying to figure out who it was and maybe even accused the wrong person at one point?!

I agree Gadd came across badly and I actually felt sorry for “Martha” tbh. If he suffered the abuse by that man then obviously that’s horrific, but I find it hard when I don’t know which things are real and which are made up.

The stuff with his dad was odd as well. Did his dad imply he’d also been assaulted? Is that true? All so confusing.

@henlake7 I think he was enabling her because he was so vulnerable himself and the victim of abuse and his self esteem was damaged. He enjoyed the flattery on some level.

@Lovefromjuliaxo I hate this 'we all know who it is' BS. It's like Weinstein or Saville. They know it but don't call it out because they are afraid it will damage their career prospects. Which I guess is their choice and understandable, but if when when it does come out they will all pretend they desperately wanted to talk and were prevented from doing so. And the people at senior level know it too but don't care because 'Darrien' makes profit for them so who cares if he is abusing nobodies on the way up.

Yeah i wondered the same OP.

But it was released as a work of fiction, no? Based on real people.

I guess although it was hinted that some folk knew who it was, why hasn't he been reported by those folk? Before Baby Rdeer was even made?

I guess it highlights how many rapes/sexual assault go unreported due to the victim’s ‘shame’.

Yes, I agree it is similar to Savile. Several celebrities knowing, nobody speaking. I really doubt Gadd is the first one to be sexually assaulted by him, and won’t be the last if nobody speaks up. i don’t know how the law works either- guessing Osman couldn’t say anything to police.

i also agree Gadd treated his stalker wrongly. He was vulnerable, yes, but part of him was enjoying the attention and it was very self indulgent at points. I truly think he was leading her on at several points in the show, knowing she was mentally unwell, before realising he was in over his head.

liked the show but not sure it deserved 3 emmys

People absolutely do care who "Darrien" is. There was a lot of online speculation and sleuthing, and Gadd ended up asking people to stop because he said that innocent people were being accused/harassed.

"Darrien" evidently has power in the TV production world. It's not one single institution either but a jungle of small companies and relationships. It's not remotely hard to see how Gadd, or someone in the position of Gadd's character in the series, wouldn't want to go to the police, and who else do you go to? There's no institutional HR department to report him to, and you can't exactly go to the police if all you have is rumours and second or third-hand stories.

Look what’s come out about Harrods. Powerful men are protected. Everyone knows but it’s covered up. NDAs, fear of reprisals, so on and so forth. And ultimately people look out for their own backs. Don’t rock the boat. It’s not affecting me. The whole culture around them is rotten.

But why does nobody talk about Darrien, who also sexually abused Gadd regularly?

This WAS discussed on telly addicts thread and a few others. At the time it was released!

Who is your 'nobody' who isn't discussing it?

I just feel like Martha/fiona gets a lot more attention on her

The police should investigate a crime. There's a novel idea.

Oh didn't realise it had been reported and what? No further action?

How would we know?

Does it have to be reported? RO says he knows who a rapist is. Could an officer ask?

Er, Well it's a Netflix show.....based loosely on someone's relationship and life....

Investigating a sexual crime is absolutely pointless without a report by the victim. Without a victim you have nothing. It's not exactly a witnessed crime, generally.

Assuming Baby Reindeer is a faithful representation of Gadd's encounter with his rapist... It would probably never get to charges, much less court, even if Gadd reported it. And anybody who has actually been in the position of reporting a rape and going through the police process... It is often as traumatic than the rape itself. Look at I May Destroy You for an example of the "sensitive" treatment that male-on-male rape can get from the police.

Isn't there also a defamation risk?

It's fairly easy to prove that the Martha story is true as there will be evidence of that.

But not of any rape /him saying it was consensual.

So a strong risk of suing and winning.

The problem is obviously with libel.
One man mentioned was incorrectly identified.
Another was also the wrong man.
You have a hybrid/composite character.
The alleged perp irl has been cancelled to a degree as no longer producing.
Their second career/side hustle disturbs many for similar reasons (acting as a shamen/facilitator at queer festivals. Is on his second name change).

The wrong people will continue to be accused until Gadd tells the truth, but if he doesn’t want to it’s his choice