How much rent should I charge daughter?

[Joloman74]

My daughter works full time. Her take home pay is £1600 a month. I have asked her to start paying me rent. I no longer get child benefit or tax credits for her so it's a struggle financially every month. I have asked her to pay £200 a month, which works out at £46 a week, £6 a day. This is what I told her. She has kicked off at me, saying I am taking the p##s and she doesn't know anyone who pays this much. She wants her boyfriend to move in why they look for a place, I told her this would be ok but he needs to pay£200 a month aswell. He earns double what she does. I've recieved a mouth full of insults from her and I've told her if she doesn't like it she can move out. Am I being unreasonable?. She is 17, 18 the beginning of november. Any advice would be much appreciated.

There was a thread wee while ago exactly this type of scenario where the bf moved in and the pair of them made the mum's life a living hell.

Why? It's generally known as "paying keep" and has been the norm in the UK that if you still live at home with parents once you start working full time you start paying keep. This has been the case for many many many years.... which I'm guessing you aren't very many in age?!

It’s odd to me as well. For some people their children are only allowed to stay/live with them if they are being paid! A few weeks ago one OP asked if she should kick her son out for not claiming benefits or working. But it turned out that he had only finished university 3 weeks previously!!

OP if you decide to charge her that’s up to you but if she pays then she is more of a lodger/ renter so then she comes and goes as she pleases and does want she wants. I would discourage her boyfriend living there but again, if she pays then surely he can stay occasionally??

Why do you find it odd that some people (especially single parents) cannot afford to subsidise their grown up children when they lose things like child benefit and council tax discount? I'm not sure what is so hard to grasp, unless you're being wilfully ignorant to what OP has posted.

When I left school, many many years ago, my mother took 66% of my meagre wages which has made me go the opposite way with mine (probably why I've got two 30+ Yr olds living with me at the moment 😂who I don't charge as don't need it) however I have needed it in the past and my eldest even gave me £25 per week when he was on job seekers allowance, I've never had any complaints as they understood my financial situation at the time......... so have an open conversation and show her your incoming and outcomings so that she can see that you need help would be my advice, it will also help her to realise how much she is going to need to pay bills when she has her own place.

Completely understandable as I assume your children don’t make much money or you’re desperate to keep them at home.

Our job is to prepare our children, not keep them reliant on mum and dad. But that is for children who are independent and ready for the adult world.

I was (quite rightly) paying £200 a month to my parents when I was earning less than a grand a month in the 80's/early 90's. I lived in a lovely house, had meals on tap, an en-suite bathroom and my laundry done. They didn't need the money but taught me financial discipline and quite right too!

My daughter has been paying £2k a month rent in a London flat share (so a grand each) since she was 21. That is plus bills, food, commuting fares. Your daughter is living in cloud cuckoo land. She's in for an almighty shock and sooner than she thinks. Please stand your ground with this. She needs to grow up and be responsible. I wouldn't be letting the boyfriend move in until you've ironed this out. I've just read this to my daughter who is visiting home for a few days and she laughed at the cheek.

I agree! Why would you charge your own child rent for rent in the house they grew up in?

Gee what a mystery, maybe because:

'I no longer get child benefit or tax credits for her so it's a struggle financially every month'

Well more fool you. You have to teach your children that they have responsibilities. They are earning full time, they need to contribute. My parents were wealthy and didn't need the money at all (and ultimately it came back to me) but they did teach me about budgeting, financial responsibility and life expenses. I'm a lone parent on a low income. I am not in a position to support a grown ass adult earning a full time wage. My daughter has left home but she would have properly contributed had she still lived here.

Because for some of us it's not an option
Benefits stop once they turn 18 because the expectation is that they are working and able to subsidise their upkeep.
Child benefit is £100 pcm
Child tax credits variable but I was working and still got £80 pcm
you lose the single adult council tax reduction which was another £40 pcm
I didn't receive a great deal because I was just on the earning threshold. But that's still £200+ a month I lost once my son turned 18.
I wasn't making a profit off my son just covering costs.
But at least I didn't have to work extra shifts every month to cover the shortfall while he got to trouser £1500 a month in disposable income.

I would charge 25% of her take-home pay - so £400/month.

And no, her boyfriend cannot move in, because then you'll be in a 2-against-1 situation, and given what a fucking little madam she is being I would not want that.

Stand firm. Paying your own way is part of becoming an adult.

What are they doing whereby 2 teenagers are earning a take home of 5k a month?!

Wherever they are they shouldn’t have any trouble finding somewhere to rent with that sort of money coming in so he doesn’t need to move in in the meantime.

She doesn’t know anyone else paying that much because 99% of other 17 year olds don’t have a £1600 take home. They are either in education still or in first jobs earning not much more than min wage.

They’re are your children. Not transactional problems.

My eldest will be working full time soon and is fully expecting to contribute. I calculated 20% of the household costs, as there's 5 of us (bills and food, basically) at around £200 and will be asking for that. I didn't include what we pay for rent and council tax because that would be the same if he moved out, but I will expect him to be saving at least 30% of his income towards a deposit/moving out eventually. If he isn't, the contribution will go up to include rent and I would save that portion for him.

Neither my husband nor I were ever in the position to stay at home and save, so we want our children to have that privilege, but they also need to understand living costs and pay their way.

In your situation, £200 is probably too low compared to 50% of the household bills and food, so she should consider herself lucky. Agree with PPs that's moving the BF in sounds like a bad idea if her attitude is that bad.

@Overtheatlantic They are. They are also grown ass adults that need to understand that food, gas, electricity, council tax etc are standard costs for adults and they need to contribute towards that. No wonder so many people have "kids" in their 30's living at home. I'm expecting my youngest to be at home longer as he's ND and has a list of difficulties. However, even at 13 years old, we discuss bills, shopping, food, how much things cost and he says he can't wait to be able to contribute. If he's working and earning well then that's great! Both of my kids can live at home forever as far as I am concerned, but they will need to contribute to the pot!

20% so £320 is what i would charge (to include food and bills too)

You are being very fair to your DD. Show her your electric, council tax, gas and water bills and let her see the true cost of things.

Very reasonable.

She absolutely should not be living with boyfriend yet.

Once they're grown adults earning a full time wage they can contribute to bills just like all other grown adults have to do. Nobody is obligated to financially support their grown children.

Boyfriend moving in will cost you more than £200 a month, don't do it.

Hi, just her food.

Surely you can see the difference between 'staying occasionally' and moving in?

Yes but if she's working full time OP loses her child benefit/tax credits etc as explained.