Husband being unfaithful

[ohwhatabeautifulmorningg]

I’ve just very recently found out that my husband might be being unfaithful to me…I’ve been finding texts to “other women” and messages between him and his mates where he’s saying that he’s going on a “date” with so and so. I feel like vomiting to be honest because I never ever suspected him as being the “cheating” type. He hardly goes out, he lets me use his phone and I usually sort out his banking and anything he needs help with…he’s not the type of guy that hides his phone or does anything remotely suspicious which is why this is so strange to process. I just can’t believe it. Has he just been really really good at hiding it (for example, ensuring that suspicious messages are promptly deleted) ? Or similar stuff? Have I just allowed myself to be a naive doormat? 😭

So does he actually have any time away from you when he could be going on a date?
And could the texts to his mates be bravado, perhaps they are all doing it so he’s trying to keep up with them?
The only way to solve it is to talk to him, but take screenshots of what you have seen first.

I’d usually be the first to say LTB, but don’t people usually keep it quiet that they’re having affairs?

when you say text from other women ( plural) - is he having a sexual relationship? Or are they just friends work colleagues?

That said, it doesn’t sound great. If it’s numerous different women, is it sex workers? Or maybe he is on an online dating site?

i think it’s useful for you to find what evidence you can- for no other reason than to prove to yourself this is true. Be prepared for lots of denials, so there’s little point in challenging him. screenshot it, so you know its true.

Have you read these texts between him and these other women?
I think I would be as upset about his conversations with his mates boasting about having dates with other women as the fact he has communications with other women that he needs to keep secret from you.
What type of friends does he have that boasting about cheating on your wife is seen as normal?

You really need to talk to him about what's going on. I agree with pp about taking screenshot of what you have seen first.

Sorry lovely, this must be such a shock. Trust your gut when you talk to him and I hope that you stay safe whatever happens next. take as much time as you need.

If he let's you use his phone ask him what's going on. His face will be the answer not his words

What messages to other women have you seen? Does he have time away from you to have affairs? I’m so sorry x