Zoe Ball....sorry for her loss but the general public don't receive 950K per year and get tiled to take an indefinite length of bereavement leave

[mids2019]

I have had a period of bereavement leave (2 weeks) after the death of my father. Given the nature of deadlines at work I had to send emails during that period.

Am I right to question Zoe Ball paid by the licence fee payers being told to take 'as much time as you want' on a vast salary?.Does this show a good between the celeb existence and that of us mere worker drones?

I had a week after each parent died, but that has to be sick leave beyond the 3 days compassionate leave. I was not ready after a week. People at work (school) talked about it being good to get back into a routine - I did not feel this at all and I wasn't somewhere where people would be kind if you were tearful, schools aren't like that!
What I really do resent (and also feel guilty about) is not spending enough time while they were ill with each of them. I didn't take a single day off for that and I certainly wasn't encouraged to either.
So I don't agree with the Op but I do see how hearing about other people's experiences can stir up all sorts of unresolved emotions.

If you are annoyed about her pay start a different thread. It has nothing to do with this issue.

Do you think she should have less time, or you more?

I don’t think the problem lies with Zoe or the BBC. I think you’ve been unfair.

I work in the NHS and have a kind compassionate employer who allowed me to take my time and go back to work when I was ready.

maybe your issue was with your employer. Or maybe your issue is with yourself for not defining your boundaries and prioritising your own recovery. Maybe writing to your MP and campaigning for employers to have more compassionate bereavement leave policies might be a positive thing to do with your frustrations.

I get two days. Does that help? Do I hold it against Zoe Ball and my licence fee? No.

Maybe they needed the money?

Regardless of who she is or her salary she should get treated like everyone else in her organisation. Money has got nothing to do with grief.

Time for some of you to acknowledge that the issue for you here isn't so much the amount of time she's been allowed, as her salary.

I love Zoe Ball on the radio. But she's doing a job which entails being bubbly and positive first thing in the morning. If she was an accountant she could plug into
her laptop and not have to appear jolly. But she's not an accountant. She's a Radio 2 DJ.

(and I speak as someone who is self employed and would be forced to have a couple of days,
maybe be a week tops if I had a bereavement because I cannot afford to take more
time off)

The nhs has managers discretion for complex bereavement. I have exercised this discretion and not felt at all bitter that I took a week off following the death of my beloved dad. Just pleased that I could support my colleague with the time she needed.

A reminder that it’s not a race to the bottom. We should be celebrating the bbc doing the right thing here.

I think it’s important to accept that everyone is different when it comes to losing a parent.

I think if my job was a radio DJ, expected to be perky for hours every morning, I’d need some time off too.

This is one of the nastiest posts I've seen in 15 odd years on Mumsnet

I took 2 weeks off when my parent passed away, I'm self employed so I didn't get any bereavement pay and had to take the hit of significantly lower finances at that time. In the months beforehand I had also had to reduce my hours a lot and again I didn't receive any subsidiary pay for that. It was my choice though and it was the right choice for our family at the time. Do I think this means you shouldn't have received any bereavement pay at all just cos I didn't? No of course not. So why on Earth would you grudge Zöe Ball (or anyone else) having more time or money than you did?
It isn't fair but we chose the jobs we have, that's nobody else's faults.

I work in the NHS and had 2 weeks bereavement and 6 weeks sick leave- when my mum died - no one questioned it, everyone was extremely kind.

That maybe what has happened here - many companies do not have extensive bereavement support/ leave - but people and managers find a way to make it work. My Trust now has an extended policy which allows up to 6 weeks - this is for the death of parents, siblings etc - further support is provided for the loss of a child.

Having lost my Mum in a very traumatic way, I needed the time off - I don’t begrudge anyone being paid to process their grief.

It's really clear that the OP is reacting due to her own bereavement, so I don't think it's fair to say this.

@mids2019 I genuinely hope that you do not work in a patient-facing role in the NHS. Your posts on this thread come across as cold and bitter.

You seem to deeply resent any compassion shown to those in difficult circumstances.

If you read the post that’s not the reason given.

I get the criticism of the 'race to the bottom' mentality but your post really interests me. People who are working in the NHS and teaching get such shit leave while being expected to be bubbly and positive working in really shit conditions. A radio dj gets massive leave. This really ISN'T a criticism of Zoe Ball to be clear, it just makes me think lots of organisations need to review their bereavement leave policies more favorably!

Um...OK.

No, I don't think she would have done because the manager would have either started disciplinary for lying about the reason for being off 'She's not ill, she's just pissed off' or for being sick due to Bradford scores.

Bereavement leave is a red herring. If you were struggling you could have been signed off after that period with stress in line with sickness policy.

I was being slightly tongue in cheek with wow. But I do actually think two weeks is reasonable and better than I’ve had from any employer. If you’re starting a campaign for statutory paid bereavement leave I am (quite genuinely) happy to unite and lend my support. But it’s not something I feel strongly about enough to start my own campaign I’m afraid.

I think it's a good thing that she's been told to take as much time as she needs. It would be nice if all employers did that. My son's teacher had 6 months off when his daughter died and was part time for another 6 weeks I think. I was fully supportive of him taking as much time as he needed. When my Dad died suddenly I was a sahm so I just had to carry on. Dh got a day wfh so he could take the older 2 to school and let the teachers know what had happened which was really helpful (I couldn't have done that without crying). He had to take holiday time for the funeral. When me and ds both got sepsis dh had to take unpaid parental leave. In laws looked after the other dc for a day but called dh back to help them twice, then sent them back. So dh was looking after the dc, not even able to visit his son in intensive care or his wife in hdu. He then got a disciplinary for taking his allowed parental leave. So he went off sick with stress, was on SSP for a few months, then got sacked. There have been some shocking stories of inadequate leave on here but we should be focusing on increasing compassion for the people who don't get much rather than decreasing it for people who get a decent amount.

OP has been here years and not infrequently starts threads which are off in some way

It's not like Zoe can sit at her desk and hide behind her monitor to have a sob is it?

Different organisations have different policies. It's not a race to the bottom. We (public organisation) get 3 weeks for the death of a parent or child. It is common for people to move on the sick leave if they still are not fit for work after that. The BBC are doing a good thing by Zoe, but after all, she is a major asset to them. I'd be curious to know if this policy applies to all their staff.

The level of Zoe's. salary has nothing to do with the level of her grief, or do you expect all publicly paid workers not to take bereavement leave? That's about 20% of the UK workforce. Maybe we should stop having babies, getting ill or going on holiday?

I think it’s reasonable in the main too but I think honestly … we all need to dial it down with the ‘wow’ crap… because … it’s not really tongue in cheek, it’s just snide .