Do you worry your children will not have the same lifestyle or job opportunities as you?

[mids2019]

I was reflecting that over the course of their childhood my children have had a reasonably affluent lifestyle, 4 nd detached house, 1 or 2 foreign holidays per year, (including Disney Florida), fair amount of after school activities etc. They have had this lifestyle partially because we are late(ish) parents therefore professionally advanced and rsecure fiancially. Over the years we have Chad frees higher educattion, parental assurance with house deposits, low interest rates etc.

I look at the costs of modern living for the young with expensive housing, high interest rates, paid for higher education and an increasingly cut throat graduate job market and I wonder if ever my children will experience the same as us? Will out children notice the contrast in lifestyle especially with housing and holidays when they join the workforce?

It's the contrast I worry aboit. I grew up relatively poor in a lot of respects so I getting a semi detached house felt a real leg up in life as well as visiting foreign capitals in my twenties. It just seemed I had somehow scanned a little in terms of lifestyle and it could be the reverse for my children

Does anyone feel the same?

Yes, he will.

I had a culturally rich but financially increasingly tight upbringing, the 80s were tough years for us and my dad went bankrupt and we lost our house aged 16. I considered myself lucky to study and get a job, and really had little idea how to earn any money. When I married dh we were both earning but he was chronically ill and we spent many years counting every single penny. Ds lived in hand me downs, charity shop clothes and we ate sacks of value pasta.

Now it's true that I am earning better and my new partner means we are better off. But ds is working v hard and when he graduates next year he is guaranteed to start at a higher salary than I have ever earned (he already has a confirmed job offer). He is going to live a life I never even got near tbh. Part of me is envious, part worried, part extremely relieved and happy.

@mids2019 100 per cent. My dh and I worked incredibly hard at school and university and ended in the very top end of a well paying profession. Ds1 wants to follow us into it but we are brutal in telling him that his chances of ending up where we are are very slim. he works hard at school as he is motivated by a very specific goal but his eyes are open.

Ds2 is interested in a caring profession; at first he was vague about the difference between nursing and medicine but I showed him the nhs pay scales and pointed out that if he got the marks to do medicine he should do that instead of nursing, if they both appealed the same. They DO know how much the mortgage is in broad terms. They see the bin men salary advertised on the back of the bin lorry and they think it looks good then we break it down using the costs of living in London.

But in all likelihood our dc will have a very different, less privileged, life to what they’ve grown up with and it is the main motivation in saving for us - so that we can help them later a little bit (not enough to give them a life time of high salaries!).

it’s also why we stopped at two children.

@tocontinue123 my DD is 8, my friends DC ages range from 8-18.

I think kids absolutely need financial education these days. They can definitely learn about the concept of compound interest and investing. Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world as they say.

The government is probably going to Lower the compulsory Age of starting pensions which will also help.

The reason it's worse is because the richest people own more of the assets now so the middle class are worse off and its much harder to get rich in a lifetime unless you have inherited wealth.

I think it can be a choice now between buying a bigger property or investing, I would say the older generation were more into property ownership whereas younger generation are more opting to invest in S&S with a higher risk strategy when younger.

I'm hoping mine will do/have better opportunities than I did. I live in a tiny terrace and do a job that bores me to tears but have been trapped because I could never afford to retrain for anything more interesting and with better pay. Mine will have all my support to do whatever makes them happy and that will get them somewhere in life.

I have joined a sports team so am mixing with a few young professionals twenty somethings starting out in their careers. I have to keep my mouth shut things are way harder for them than they were for Dh and I at the same age / stage.

No i am not worried. My grandparents had a council flat, my parents had a tiny old terraced house… it never stopped them from having kids. I grew up relatively poor and made the best out of it. I hope my children will have the same mentality… if you work and study hard you can improve your situation, no matter where you came from.

It's maybe having to spell out facts that they don't learn at school such as if you have a non managerial nursing position, or a non senior police officer then detached housing in better parts of a city maybe a challenge. Similarly as they are both daughter's I don't think they understand the financial not having children has and I certainly do not want to go down a 'marrying well' as the be all and end all route some of my peers have (another thread).

I only worry insofar as I worry about the future of the world and their own personal qualities.
They won’t have the same opportunities as us but they will have enough to be able to make a decent life, if they get on with it and things don’t go tits up in general.

Unlikely they will be able to move out and live independently at the young age me and DH did (never went home again after university). At least if they want to stay in London. Way too expensive.

But they will benefit from money from us for deposits for flats, which we never did as young adults.

It’s worse for us as dd2s best friend is from a family of billionaires so she has been swept up in that life. She’s getting used to things that are not normal (staff/taxis instead of public transport etc).

My kids are on track to do much better than us careerwise, but not sure it will translate into a better lifestyle due to high property costs.

My parents had a better lifestyle than us due to my dad's career and him making difficult decisions such as choosing to live abroad so me and my siblings had to go to boarding school. A decision that's had adverse affects on our mental heath so career climbing ironically has been limited despite the 'privilege'.

I don’t think that will be the case for us:

My parents who started out in council houses, not very much at all but worked hard to buy a house and gradually got more money as they got older. This meant I had a comfortable childhood in terms of money - nice clothes, nice house but not many ‘extras’ like big holidays and had to get student loan for accommodation for uni etc.

However my education and my husband’s education and jobs has meant that we have had more money from the beginning and could buy early, can save money. We will be able to do more for our children and they are growing up in a more affluent life than we had. I imagine this will mean that life will be even easier than we had it - we can help with house deposits, pay for student fees etc.

Mine should be ok, we have enough saved for house deposits for them both - even in our area (sought after area mixture of 4 & 5 bed detached)

The main thing is - this house and the other properties we own have a combined value of (atm) £850k - we are in NI

The pre-schooler is bright but, of course, too early to make any assumptions. The primary aged child should be heading to a prestigious grammar in the city - he's incredibly clever and driven (already knows what A-Levels, Uni and career he wants)

My kids will be ok

Slightly different perspective on this - but I think I’m a bit younger than you, my child is still a baby.

To afford the same upbringing I had is pretty much impossible for us. Big house, fancy holidays, expensive private schools, my mum barely worked etc.

Just buying the equivalent houses we grew up in is basically impossible - and we have good jobs! My parents paid multiple sets of school fees - I’d need to earn £200k+ a year just to fund those.

So - I don’t think I’ll be able to offer them the same childhood I had, albeit I don’t think any of my friends will be able to. It will be a nice standard of living still, but not the same. Many of my friends went to boarding schools - I don’t know anyone really considering that now, the cost is too great.

As for my own children… like you I am acutely aware of the struggles they are likely to face, and feel responsible to mitigate this ie I will need to fund their university education and probably a very large housing deposit etc. That’s a key part of my financial planning / family planning. I doubt many of my background will be having 3/4 children - while for us that was completely normal.

My parents just assumed it would all work itself out when we left school - which in todays climate feels crazy really! A different time.

Going to internationally recognised private schools doesn’t guarantee high paying jobs. I work for a global consultancy and we don’t recruit graduates by what school or university they went to, and if it has any influence at all it’s actually the other way round and if they went to a less high profile university and state school but did well we are more likely to recruit them then those who went to fancier places and got bought opportunities. Not every company, especially city financial firms may be the same yet but it’s moving that way. Drive and ambition will get then far though.

Yes and no. The economic landscape will be a lot harder for his generation. For your average young person, I imagine it will be almost impossible to match the standards their parents provided. Even for my generation (early 30s), most people I know don't have as good a lifestyle as their parents. We certainly don't, despite having literally double the income they did (adjusted for inflation).

But for our son specifically, I think things will even out because we will be giving him a lot more financial support than my parents ever gave me. My parents never paid a penny towards uni, driving lessons, a house deposit etc. So assuming he doesn't develop irresponsible spending habits, he will have advantages we didn't which level the playing field a bit compared to us now.

We only had one child by choice largely to mitigate some of these issues. Not only will he get more support while we're around, he'll benefit massively from being our sole heir in future.

Yes mine are clever / attractive etc. I feel gutted as if the two of them had been born when we were they would definitely be very successful. But I am seeing lots of clever personable twenty somethings and it’s much harder for them than it was for us. Jobs are tougher and harder to get and lower paid when they get them cost of housing in comparison to their salaries is insane.

Our two will be set up to do ok as we’ve already got savings and pensions started for them. Once they fly the nest it’s up to them.

Whether their own children enjoy a decent lifestyle will depend on what my kids decide to do and how much it earns.

Think there will definitely be a divide between those helped by parents and those not which is sad. Dh and I had zero financial help from our parents but could buy in London in our twenties before the prices went up. Our maisonette doubled in price over 3 years. Made be very glad we stopped at 2 kids.

The number of younger people I know who are degrees educated both work in technical or background office type roles is significnat. A fair proportion are renters and look like they may not be able to enter the housing ladder. A lot of them are playing families of as above having fewer (or no) children.

Again I think it has all increased my desire for the children to have good education's to have a chance really.

I think it’s really important not to spoil your children, because no matter how well off you end up all kids move out and have to handle starter salaries, and flats/share houses with shared bathrooms where the heating and food costs money. I plan to get our family to go camping to help them remember the basics.
and I think it will be hard for them to be as comfortable as we are. We are as comfortable as our parents, perhaps more, but that’s a two income vs one income and more kids comparison so you’d hope so. If my grandchildren are local I’d like to help with their care and cut down a little on childcare costs.

Yes but for a different reason. DD has ASD, she will have difficulties with job search and her dream career is a historian, so that will be not a great paying future anyway.

DH and I were lucky, we got great job opportunities which meant we were able to have free cash to overpay the mortgage of our smaller, first house and therefore were in a good position for our current house, we will be mortgage free when DD will start uni next year.

We thought a lot about uni fees and most likely will let her get the loans and leave the funds for her later on. Due to our income we will have to subsidise her anyway and with the ASD it will be difficult to hold a p/t job while studying.

I am less concerned about interest rates, they will settle down again and we shouldn't forget that they were at this height 20 years ago and were seen as low-ish compared to the 10%+ of the Eighties.