“Don’t worry, he’s friendly”

[BigJean]

This should probably be in The Doghouse, but I’d really like to hear from people who probably don’t go there.

I know on MN that everyone is a perfect dog owner with their dogs properly under control, but I also know that in real life there are far too many people who don’t. If you are one of those people I’d love to hear your reasoning. Namechange for anonymity if you want.

My dog is reactive, for lots of reasons, and I am successfully working on it and every month is better than the last. She is a large dog, and as such could easily kill another dog if provoked enough to do so (she’s not a bully breed, she’s walked with a muzzle but could still damage another dog). I am a responsible owner, I have her under control.

Every week I come across at least two other dog walkers who don’t have any control over their dogs. They run up to people, dogs, horses, children and leap around whilst the owner calls it pointlessly, and cries out “it’s ok he’s friendly”. It’s not ok.

This behaviour enhances my dogs reactivity, it sets her back every time. I have a yellow “nervous dog” coat and collar, they don’t give a shit.

I put my phone on to film every time, because I’m very aware that if anything happened to another dog mine would be blamed, even though I’m doing everything I can possibly do to manage it, and it’s the friendly dog’s owner who is being irresponsible.

Please, come and tell me why you do this, and tell me what you would do if your dog was killed by a reactive dog because you haven’t kept your dog on a lead or taught it effective recall.

my dog has perfect recall, spins on a pin 90% of the time. but she is 10 months old and a work in progress so 10% of the time she decides whatever she wants to do is more important reasoning to me. I do shout to let people know she is friendly, not because I think it's ok but so that people know that they and their dogs are not in actual danger.

what would I do if she was killed by a reactive dog? I would take the blame because I know that she shouldn't be running up to others. mine is a big breed and so this situation is much less likely though

actually reading the OP again, I put her on a lead if I see another dog on a lead so I might not be the demographic this question is aimed at

My old dog was friendly but polite until he was attacked by two other dogs. Then he became reactive. I always put him on the lead when we saw another dog. Nine times out of ten, the owner of the other dog would recall and put theirs on a lead. When that didn't happen, I'd shout that my dog is reactive and to call theirs back. That didn't always go to plan.

I'm rehoming an 8yr old this weekend who, apparently, is also reactive for the same reason. It will be interesting to see if things have changed with dog owners but I suspect not.

The issue is that people who shout 'it's ok he's friendly' are so self-focussed they haven't considered if the dog/ person their dog is running towards is reactive/ phobic/allergic.
It's like any interaction, it involves two. Your dog maybe be friendly but you don't know anything about the dog/ person it is approaching.
My dog will happily tell other dogs she's not happy with other dogs running up to her. I don't apologise, she's communicating she's not happy. Lots of dog owners apologise, but others don't. It doesn't bother me, I will always advocate for my dog

I think I can slightly answer the original question OP, from what I was told be a woman whose dog is always off lead and a pain.
We used to have a spaniel, great off lead, good recall, and never ran up to people or other dogs.
We walked in an area with fields and lots of other dog walkers. All good.
One dog we met often was an Old English Sheepdog, I'll call him Rex. My dog and Rex became friends and often ran round and played together off lead.

It is important to note that Rex was ALWAYS off lead and when the owner put him on lead he pulled and was obviously not properly lead trained.

Spaniel died and we got a rescue, big dog who was initially very reactive. He is always walked on lead. The first few times we met Rex, my dog barked and was unhappy. Rex came bouncing up (to be fair he recognised me) and bounced onto my reactive rescue and it was a nightmare. I am trying to say to the owner - he is not like the spaniel, he doesn't want to play, please call your dog off. She made no attempt to recall her dog at all. Didn't even say his name.

That was the first of many bad interactions. When I entered a field, if Rex was there I turned back and went another way, (the fields are big, he was a long way away) but if I wasn't quick enough he run across the field after us and bounced all over my distressed dog. The trouble is Rex was often miles away from her, and would run the length of 2 fields if he wanted to, and she never, ever called him back or made him walk close to her.

I spoke to the owner many times, tried to explain that she needs to control her dog, asked her not to let Rex run up to my new dog, told her that it was distressing for my dog, that as far as possible I would avoid her, but if she sees me can she call her dog and put him on a lead, or at least CALL HIM, so he doesn't run half a mile to us. As far as possible I avoided her, but occasionally we would meet by accident (like coming round a corner).

her reaction was

1. they are just playing (no matter how upset or distressed my dog was) it is just normal dog behaviour, they are just playing.
2. I can't walk him on a lead he doesn't like it
3. Why should I call him back to me, he is just playing.
4. Why are you being so angry/upset with me, you used to me nice, the dogs are fine, are you schizophrenic? (yes she genuinely said that)
5. It is normal dog behaviour (as her dog is trying to climb on mine, mine is barking and twisting and trying to get away)
6. The problem is, you have him on a lead, and if you let him off then they can play. (If i let him off then he had no recall and he might go for another dog)

Eventually she got the message and we avoided each other as far as possible. After 2 years my dog is now 99% better, and I have actually met her once recently. And she put her dog on a lead when she saw me! So we were able to stop and chat for a few minutes without either dog over reacting.

I'm going to stop shouting (a variation of) this. I am literally only shouting so you know that you are not in any physical danger, not because I think my dog running up to you is ok.

Your dog shouldn't be running up to anyone. Ever. Without the ok from them first.

Fault on both sides.

Dogs shouldn't be running up to people uninvited. If the dog doesn't have adequate recall it should be on a lead.

And you shouldn't be walking around with a dog that you knowingly in your own words has the potential to kill. Regardless of the safeguards you believe you are taking.

Did you miss the bit where the op says her dog is muzzled?

Every dog, with the exception of toy breeds, has the potential to kill a smaller dog. OP sees that her risk is higher than other due to the reactivity of the dog, so she muzzles hers. She's not being remotely unreasonable

Ok. I am going to risk everyone's wrath but I am definitely guilty of having a boundy (small) dog that does not have terrific recall, I wouldn't tell you not to worry because he is friendly as it wouldn't be my dog I was worried about in that case, it would be yours. If my dog is approaching another dog I would ask you if yours is friendly and if not I would coax mine back to me pronto.

If your dog damaged mine I would definitely judge you though and would ask for measures to be taken against your dog. I don't think there's a place for dogs that have such a definite instinct to attack.

I am aware of surroundings and if there's a big dog on or off lead then I do distract my dog. Also, he would not really come close to your dog. He likes the idea of other dogs but not when he's close to them.

To be fair to him, he is a puppy and we are going to training but it is going to take some time before he is good at properly listening.

So don't let him off until he has recall.

Jesus. If he gets bitten by an on lead dog because you can't control him, it's entirely on you.

Surely that goes the other way too. If you have a dog you can't control even on a lead then don't take him out in public?

I feel I take the necessary precautions to protect my dog, largely with requests to other dog owners as to whether their dog is friendly before allowing him to approach.

I would pick him up or pop him on a lead if needs be (his recall is not good but he's only off lead to chase balls and he would do anything for a ball!).

I massively judge owners whose dogs are aggressive to other dogs for no reason.

As a non- dog owner I also get frustrated by the "he is friendly" statements by dogs that are badly controlled.

Owners seem to think that the only possible reason you are not keen to encounter their beloved pooch is because you are scared.

Actually, no I am not scared and I am very glad for you that your dog is friendly but I just don't want him jumping up and covering me with mud.

I was walking to work one time through a local park and a "friendly" dog jumped up and I had to spend the entire day at work with two huge muddy footprints on the thigh area of my trousers! As my role was very public facing this was quite awkward and embarrassing.

If a dog is on the lead, unless a daft extendable thing, then that dog tends to be under control.

If another dog bounds over, jumping on it, running up to it etc. Then the owner is not at fault if it bits the other dog.

The dog could be scared. That is reason enough. Leash your dog if it doesn't recall and you won't have this problem

I thought the OP wanted opinions and to try to understand other people's perspectives.

You seem intent on shutting everyone down and demanding different behaviour from them @K0OLA1D

I posted because I thought my opinion was a reasonable response to the question

It's not reasonable behaviour though.

You are the reason people call for all dogs on leads etc.

My dog doesn't need to be on a lead when not required, because he has rock solid recall. Yours doesn't.

@K0OLA1D

He doesn't have perfect recall no but it's good enough for now for when I allow him off lead. With the precautions I have in place.

I will continue to let him off lead and will continue to approach other dogs with caution.

@op - hopefully you found my response useful even though I faced the wrath of others.

Sorry - just read that I am the reason people call for dogs to be on lead. You could not be further from the truth.

I would be looking at the big dogs with the attack instincts for a reason for all dogs being on leads.

It's not me that really cares. I care about being tarred as a shit owner because some people let their dogs off without recall.

You do realise you are breaking the law if he goes up to someone scared of dogs don't you?

Nah, read the thread. It's dogs. People don't want dogs approaching them. Big dogs, small dogs, any dogs.

I've got a reactive dog very small breed though. However I literally go out of my way to stay away from other people with dogs. They can literally see me trying to get out the way meanwhile they have there dog of the lead letting it come up it mine when they can see clearly it's in not reacting well... really does my head in tbh.

@K0OLA1D

What law?! That is bonkers.

As I have said before, and you are choosing to ignore, my dog does not have great recall because he is being trained and is a puppy,

I am in control over who he goes up to - he is not interested in people but loves to socialise with other dogs we meet on the park.

I also think it's important for dogs to socialise as we'd end up with a lot more scared and aggressive dogs if they don't.

As I've said before, I would check your dog is friendly before allowing him to bound over. If not then I would coax mine back. It's not perfect recall but I always have a ball to hand.

There are ways to manage dogs other than your way.

@WicketWoo maybe the question shouldn't be 'is your dog friendly?' but something like 'is my dog ok to come over to say hello?' It's not about the disposition of the dog, but this idea that friendly dogs want to say hello to all dogs. Or that people want other people dogs running up to them. Friendly dog or not, people and dogs shouldn't have to tolerate dogs running up to them unless invited to.

I normally just ask if he can say hello

Your dog is classed as dangerously out of control if it scares someone.

I think you need to read up on it