Page 12 | “Don’t worry, he’s friendly”

BigJean · 2024-09-17T12:02:44+00:00

This should probably be in The Doghouse, but I’d really like to hear from people who probably don’t go there. I know on MN that everyone is a perfect dog owner with their dogs properly under control, but I also know that in real life there are far too many people who don’t. If you are one of those people I’d love to hear your reasoning. Namechange for anonymity if you want. My dog is reactive, for lots of reasons, and I am successfully working on it and every month is better than the last. She is a large dog, and as such could easily kill another dog if provoked enough to do so (she’s not a bully breed, she’s walked with a muzzle but could still damage another dog). I am a responsible owner, I have her under control. Every week I come across at least two other dog walkers who don’t have any control over their dogs. They run up to people, dogs, horses, children and leap around whilst the owner calls it pointlessly, and cries out “it’s ok he’s friendly”. It’s not ok. This behaviour enhances my dogs reactivity, it sets her back every time. I have a yellow “nervous dog” coat and collar, they don’t give a shit. I put my phone on to film every time, because I’m very aware that if anything happened to another dog mine would be blamed, even though I’m doing everything I can possibly do to manage it, and it’s the friendly dog’s owner who is being irresponsible. Please, come and tell me why you do this, and tell me what you would do if your dog was killed by a reactive dog because you haven’t kept your dog on a lead or taught it effective recall.

schloss · 19/09/2024 10:19

@aperolspritzbasicbitch Well said - there are some of us who are very sensible and not taken in by the amount of hysterics.

cantreallyno · 19/09/2024 11:18

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 19/09/2024 10:00

@surreygirl1987

Ok. I stand by that. A dog being 'near' someone isn't a dog that's out of control.

If people could sit and read through this thread and see comments that weren't completely hysterical, I think it would give a lot of people food for thought. Instead, we see comments from people who supposedly cannot leave their front door without being mauled half to death by a legion of savage dogs, people complaining about having dogs near them. It really does cheapen the argument.

I once walked with my dog and my children in to my local high street to buy a particular drink they wanted from a small takeaway place. We got there and they decided they were far too shy to order themselves whilst I stood outside with the dog. The person serving them said I could step in with the dog to help them out. I took one step forward and noticed a little girl already inside the shop move behind her mum, and her mum started telling her it was ok. I'm not an absolute dick, so asked if she was alright and her mum told me she was scared of dogs. I apologised, instantly moved back and told my children that if they would have to order themselves. Wouldn't dream of taking my dog in to a place where you wouldn't normally expect to see one if someone had a problem with it.

If I was walking through a park, with my dog on or off lead, walked past someone and they started kicking off because my dog was simply near them, I'd not give a shit to be honest. If my dog were to approach them, or touch them in some way, then I would be mortified, apologetic and the dog would be straight on the lead and I'd have to work on training more.

Do you see the difference there? One is an actual issue, the other is just life unfortunately.
I don't particularly enjoy being near some things, doesn't mean I can demand that they aren't around.

👏

steppemum · 19/09/2024 13:00

Limesodaagain · 18/09/2024 22:11

So …. We all have to make sure our “ he wouldn’t harm a fly “ dogs don’t trigger your “reactive”dogs?
How about you keep your reactive dogs away from normal dogs?

my dog is reactive.
I take it as my responsibility to keep him away from other dogs.

He was a rescue and in the 2 years we have had him, he has learnt that he doesn't need to be scared of other dogs and is 90% less reactive than when we started. But he still doesn't like meeting dogs he doesn't know.
I walk in areas with fields, but it is popular with dog walkers, I keep out of other peoples way, loop round to avoid encountering dogs, cut across the grass etc, and everyone is fine with that. Most dog walkers know each other and sometimes people call their dog to heel so we can pass (at a distance) and give us a wave and say things like 'isn't he doing well, hasn't he improved' we're a friendly lot.

But one or two dogs run across the field up to my dog and get in his face and he barks and jumps because he is scared. I do not think it is unreasonable to say that those owners should be able to call their dog so it doesn't run up to mine. I am doing everything I can to keep out of your way, why is it unreasonable to expect that you don't get in my face? My dog is on a lead, minding his own business.

My old dog at the end was ill and liked a walk, but did not want to be approached because he was ill. I have a friend with a dog with arthritis that needs her dog to not be bounced on, or for her to jump around in circles. We had a spaniel who was scared of other dogs, he would cower and pee when an unknown dog approached. There are many reasons why a dog on a lead doesn't want another dog in their face.
Should all these dogs be put to sleep, or kept indoors without any walks?
Why does your lovely 'wouldn't hurt a fly' dog get to annoy other dogs who may be old, ill, scared or just nervous? Do you own all the dog walking spaces in the Uk?
Don't let your dog run up to dogs on a lead.
Total selfishness on your part.

K0OLA1D · 19/09/2024 13:20

steppemum · 19/09/2024 13:00

my dog is reactive.
I take it as my responsibility to keep him away from other dogs.

He was a rescue and in the 2 years we have had him, he has learnt that he doesn't need to be scared of other dogs and is 90% less reactive than when we started. But he still doesn't like meeting dogs he doesn't know.
I walk in areas with fields, but it is popular with dog walkers, I keep out of other peoples way, loop round to avoid encountering dogs, cut across the grass etc, and everyone is fine with that. Most dog walkers know each other and sometimes people call their dog to heel so we can pass (at a distance) and give us a wave and say things like 'isn't he doing well, hasn't he improved' we're a friendly lot.

But one or two dogs run across the field up to my dog and get in his face and he barks and jumps because he is scared. I do not think it is unreasonable to say that those owners should be able to call their dog so it doesn't run up to mine. I am doing everything I can to keep out of your way, why is it unreasonable to expect that you don't get in my face? My dog is on a lead, minding his own business.

My old dog at the end was ill and liked a walk, but did not want to be approached because he was ill. I have a friend with a dog with arthritis that needs her dog to not be bounced on, or for her to jump around in circles. We had a spaniel who was scared of other dogs, he would cower and pee when an unknown dog approached. There are many reasons why a dog on a lead doesn't want another dog in their face.
Should all these dogs be put to sleep, or kept indoors without any walks?
Why does your lovely 'wouldn't hurt a fly' dog get to annoy other dogs who may be old, ill, scared or just nervous? Do you own all the dog walking spaces in the Uk?
Don't let your dog run up to dogs on a lead.
Total selfishness on your part.

Show quote history

My old man will be off his lead 9 times out of 10 and he doesn't want off lead dogs approaching him and jumping on him either. It would hurt him now, especially as he's not good on his legs.

No dog should just be allowed to approach another without checking its ok

Deathraystare · 19/09/2024 13:38

The dogs may be friendly but I am not!!!! I don't want dogs jumping on me/shagging my leg. Anyway, I prefer cats!!!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 19/09/2024 14:22

steppemum · 19/09/2024 13:00

my dog is reactive.
I take it as my responsibility to keep him away from other dogs.

He was a rescue and in the 2 years we have had him, he has learnt that he doesn't need to be scared of other dogs and is 90% less reactive than when we started. But he still doesn't like meeting dogs he doesn't know.
I walk in areas with fields, but it is popular with dog walkers, I keep out of other peoples way, loop round to avoid encountering dogs, cut across the grass etc, and everyone is fine with that. Most dog walkers know each other and sometimes people call their dog to heel so we can pass (at a distance) and give us a wave and say things like 'isn't he doing well, hasn't he improved' we're a friendly lot.

But one or two dogs run across the field up to my dog and get in his face and he barks and jumps because he is scared. I do not think it is unreasonable to say that those owners should be able to call their dog so it doesn't run up to mine. I am doing everything I can to keep out of your way, why is it unreasonable to expect that you don't get in my face? My dog is on a lead, minding his own business.

My old dog at the end was ill and liked a walk, but did not want to be approached because he was ill. I have a friend with a dog with arthritis that needs her dog to not be bounced on, or for her to jump around in circles. We had a spaniel who was scared of other dogs, he would cower and pee when an unknown dog approached. There are many reasons why a dog on a lead doesn't want another dog in their face.
Should all these dogs be put to sleep, or kept indoors without any walks?
Why does your lovely 'wouldn't hurt a fly' dog get to annoy other dogs who may be old, ill, scared or just nervous? Do you own all the dog walking spaces in the Uk?
Don't let your dog run up to dogs on a lead.
Total selfishness on your part.

Show quote history

Excellent post. I am in the same situation as you re our rescue dog and other owners.

Orielle · 19/09/2024 22:51

100 % agree with the OP. I was cycling along a cycle path on our local common years ago and a dog bounded over to me and knocked me off my bike. When I had words with the owner she told me that her dog her more right to be here then I did.

We went for a walk when my DD was a few weeks old. It was the first time we’d been out since she was born as I’d had a c-section. I was really nervous about breastfeeding in public and still recovering from my section. DD needed a feed so I sat on a bench to feed her. In the time I was feeding her three separate dogs came over to me and started sniffing me. Two were large enough to sniff DD in my arms. Not one of the owners attempted to call back their dogs or apologise even though I was clearly breastfeeding a tiny baby and had a pram.

Last week an enormous pit ball type dog came over to us whilst we were sitting on the grass in the park. I was trying to change DD (we were nowhere near a baby changer) and she decided that was definitely the right time to toddle off with no nappy. I yelled at her to come back to me (didn’t mention it was because of the dog, the owners looked scary) and the owner started having a go at me.

maverickfox · 19/09/2024 23:43

fluffyfurryfeatherythings · 17/09/2024 20:46

There is plenty of rural areas for us all to use, so you are being economical with the truth saying rural areas are no longer available to you.

Rubbish. Every single park, country walk, beach is full of dogs.
There are no dog free places because dog owners go loopy if anyone tries to suggest it.

This. There are fewer and fewer places to be able to walk comfortably without dogs. Even shops and cafes aren’t off limit any longer.

maverickfox · 20/09/2024 00:07

cantreallyno · 19/09/2024 01:13

I shout 'she won't hurt you', because that is what I would want to know, if a dog was coming towards me, ignoring it's owner. but it seems from this thread, no one is interested in that information so I will stop saying it

Show quote history

If your dog is ignoring its owner and running towards people it is out of control. Just keep it on a lead ffs.

steppemum · 20/09/2024 09:46

maverickfox · 19/09/2024 23:43

This. There are fewer and fewer places to be able to walk comfortably without dogs. Even shops and cafes aren’t off limit any longer.

Show quote history

I agree that there are very few dog free places.

But I would say that a lot of National trust land, including some coastal paths and national parks have a dogs on lead policy, that is pretty well adhered to.

So at least the dogs there are on a lead and can't run up to you

oakleaffy · 20/09/2024 09:50

Orielle · 19/09/2024 22:51

100 % agree with the OP. I was cycling along a cycle path on our local common years ago and a dog bounded over to me and knocked me off my bike. When I had words with the owner she told me that her dog her more right to be here then I did.

We went for a walk when my DD was a few weeks old. It was the first time we’d been out since she was born as I’d had a c-section. I was really nervous about breastfeeding in public and still recovering from my section. DD needed a feed so I sat on a bench to feed her. In the time I was feeding her three separate dogs came over to me and started sniffing me. Two were large enough to sniff DD in my arms. Not one of the owners attempted to call back their dogs or apologise even though I was clearly breastfeeding a tiny baby and had a pram.

Last week an enormous pit ball type dog came over to us whilst we were sitting on the grass in the park. I was trying to change DD (we were nowhere near a baby changer) and she decided that was definitely the right time to toddle off with no nappy. I yelled at her to come back to me (didn’t mention it was because of the dog, the owners looked scary) and the owner started having a go at me.

That Pit type dog should be muzzled.
They almost always have unreasonable, irresponsible owners.

Limesodaagain · 20/09/2024 14:08

steppemum · 19/09/2024 13:00

my dog is reactive.
I take it as my responsibility to keep him away from other dogs.

He was a rescue and in the 2 years we have had him, he has learnt that he doesn't need to be scared of other dogs and is 90% less reactive than when we started. But he still doesn't like meeting dogs he doesn't know.
I walk in areas with fields, but it is popular with dog walkers, I keep out of other peoples way, loop round to avoid encountering dogs, cut across the grass etc, and everyone is fine with that. Most dog walkers know each other and sometimes people call their dog to heel so we can pass (at a distance) and give us a wave and say things like 'isn't he doing well, hasn't he improved' we're a friendly lot.

But one or two dogs run across the field up to my dog and get in his face and he barks and jumps because he is scared. I do not think it is unreasonable to say that those owners should be able to call their dog so it doesn't run up to mine. I am doing everything I can to keep out of your way, why is it unreasonable to expect that you don't get in my face? My dog is on a lead, minding his own business.

My old dog at the end was ill and liked a walk, but did not want to be approached because he was ill. I have a friend with a dog with arthritis that needs her dog to not be bounced on, or for her to jump around in circles. We had a spaniel who was scared of other dogs, he would cower and pee when an unknown dog approached. There are many reasons why a dog on a lead doesn't want another dog in their face.
Should all these dogs be put to sleep, or kept indoors without any walks?
Why does your lovely 'wouldn't hurt a fly' dog get to annoy other dogs who may be old, ill, scared or just nervous? Do you own all the dog walking spaces in the Uk?
Don't let your dog run up to dogs on a lead.
Total selfishness on your part.

Show quote history

My dog doesn’t run up to other dogs and he has excellent recall. Truly .
However- I don’t think it’s possible for me to ensure that he won’t come anywhere near your dog when we are in the park . He certainly wouldn’t run up to your dog but your dog might react aggressively to him as he walks by ( with me - off lead)
Ive had that happen and the owners of the aggressive dogs act as if my dog is at at fault just for being there.

maverickfox · 20/09/2024 16:08

steppemum · 20/09/2024 09:46

I agree that there are very few dog free places.

But I would say that a lot of National trust land, including some coastal paths and national parks have a dogs on lead policy, that is pretty well adhered to.

So at least the dogs there are on a lead and can't run up to you

Show quote history

I live near an English Heritage property that has dogs on leads signs everywhere that are routinely ignored. I have had dogs run at me and jump up on several occasions there.

steppemum · 20/09/2024 22:20

Limesodaagain · 20/09/2024 14:08

My dog doesn’t run up to other dogs and he has excellent recall. Truly .
However- I don’t think it’s possible for me to ensure that he won’t come anywhere near your dog when we are in the park . He certainly wouldn’t run up to your dog but your dog might react aggressively to him as he walks by ( with me - off lead)
Ive had that happen and the owners of the aggressive dogs act as if my dog is at at fault just for being there.

Show quote history

If your dog doesn't run up into my dogs face then there is no problem, as I have very clearly said in my post.

Nowhere have I said your dog should not come anywhere near my dog, or that your dog should not be able to walk past. or that you should have to change your walking pattern in any way.

It is my responsibility to keep a distance that my dog is happy with.

But your dog should not run up into my dog's face.
Why is that one thing so hard to understand? Why does everyone try and twist it into something else.

Your dog, with you. My dog with me. Do what you like with your dog but don't let it run up to a dog on lead.

Happened again this morning, we are walking along minding our own business. Dog owner 50 yards away walking off in the other direction. All good. Expect then her dog turns round and runs right across the field to me and goes right up into my dog's face to sniff his nose. My dog is distressed and starts barking and bouncing (and by the way I did notice that you changed my 'reactive' to 'agressive' they are not the same thing)
And the other dog owner? Did NOTHING. Didn't even call their dog back. I call over politely and say can you call your dog please, and she huffs and puffs and half heartedly calls him. After about 6 attemps he potters off. I call over and say please don't let your dog run up to dogs on lead. She told me to fuck off.

How is it unreasonable to ask you to behave sensibly with your dog?

Also - people trying to justify it always talk about dogs on lead as if they are agressive. But as I pointed out in my post above, some are old, or have arthritis or scared. Lots of reasons a dog might be on a lead. Is it ok to scare a dog, or to put them in pain, or to upset them? Why? Why is that OK just for the sake of you saying Rover- this way, come on, heel and grabbing a treat or a ball and distracting him.

Limesodaagain · 21/09/2024 00:06

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 19/09/2024 10:00

@surreygirl1987

Ok. I stand by that. A dog being 'near' someone isn't a dog that's out of control.

If people could sit and read through this thread and see comments that weren't completely hysterical, I think it would give a lot of people food for thought. Instead, we see comments from people who supposedly cannot leave their front door without being mauled half to death by a legion of savage dogs, people complaining about having dogs near them. It really does cheapen the argument.

I once walked with my dog and my children in to my local high street to buy a particular drink they wanted from a small takeaway place. We got there and they decided they were far too shy to order themselves whilst I stood outside with the dog. The person serving them said I could step in with the dog to help them out. I took one step forward and noticed a little girl already inside the shop move behind her mum, and her mum started telling her it was ok. I'm not an absolute dick, so asked if she was alright and her mum told me she was scared of dogs. I apologised, instantly moved back and told my children that if they would have to order themselves. Wouldn't dream of taking my dog in to a place where you wouldn't normally expect to see one if someone had a problem with it.

If I was walking through a park, with my dog on or off lead, walked past someone and they started kicking off because my dog was simply near them, I'd not give a shit to be honest. If my dog were to approach them, or touch them in some way, then I would be mortified, apologetic and the dog would be straight on the lead and I'd have to work on training more.

Do you see the difference there? One is an actual issue, the other is just life unfortunately.
I don't particularly enjoy being near some things, doesn't mean I can demand that they aren't around.

Completely agree

2010Aussie · 11/12/2024 19:33

I went to a carol service in a church last week and a very lively dog was running around out of control while the congregation was arriving - many of whom were elderly with mobility issues. It belonged to someone involved in organising the event apparently. Eventually the dog was put away somewhere for the duration of the service.

“Don’t worry, he’s friendly”

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