Kids asked to stand for headteacher

[Worcswarrior]

So dd has just started high school. There is an expectation that the students stand up when the headteacher enters the assembly hall. Is this not a bit draconian in 2024?

People ask how they can get that private school “polish”. It’s things like this that any school can do that costs nothing - enforcing old fashioned manners, like standing up when someone senior enters the room.

Translated to a city law firm - the lawyers who had been taught these manners stood up when someone new entered the meeting room. It was quite obvious when young trainee lawyers hadn’t been exposed to this convention.

I also shared an office with a trainee lawyer who stood up whenever I entered our office as he had been taught (at his big name public school) to always stand up when a lady entered the room. I nipped that in the bud after a day but his beautiful manners stood him in good stead.

My Catholic school in the 90s had this rule. It was insisted on in year 7 but by the time we got to year 9 or so nobody bothered about it. I didn't really had a problem with it at the time.

I did refuse to put my finger on my lips in primary school though. It felt really weird and made me uncomfortable for reasons I couldn't articulate - I know older children/adults would never be asked to do it and I didn't want to signify I was 'silencing myself'. I was super quiet anyway so I was just left alone.

I'm completely against ridiculous uniform policies and detention for minor things but can't get worked up about standing when someone enters the room. I'd do that for other adults in formal contexts, it's just polite.

I can see the issue with having to ask permission to take off blazers. Why can't children decide for themselves whether they need one?

It's fine. We used to have to stand when the head, deputy head or year head came in to the classroom.
Mind you I don't remember the head ever coming in to my classroom and the others after a few weeks said don't worry about it when they came into the room.
My children only left school between 1 and 3 years ago and they had to stand for the head too. Non issue as everyone did it.

Because it's part of the uniform and taking it off is an easement.

We had to keep them on in the classroom for academic stuff but took them off and hung them up for practical subjects like woodwork.

I'm pleased to see most people's views on this as positive. On a point of manners, I hate it when I see people (particularly women) enter a room to greet clients (Don't Tell the Bride), and the men don't stand to shake hands.

We had to stand when a teacher entered the classroom and wait to be told to sit down.

Obvioudly we stood as teachers and the head entered assembly as well.

My kids, now in their early 20s, all had to stand for assembly, church and classroom too and open doors for teachers.

Its simple respect
Is this really a shock to you OP

Honestly, the pretensions of grandeur that have followed academisation. Unless you are a high court judge, get over yourselves. They are the only people who should be commanding whole rooms to rise.

I take your point. What I meant was that this is not a matter which, as a parent, I would be taking issue with, nor would I choose it as my battle.

I agree that a little more respect in society all round would not come amiss.

I love that. I always tell my son that it's manners that make a man.

There have been so many threads about how to emulate a private education for your kids. This is standard practice in the private schools we and our kids went to. Far from being a sign that the children are treated as peasants or servants as per earlier posts, it's a sign of learning (hopefully eventually) effortless good manners and confidence in formal social situations.

At my brother's school at meals, pupils were not allowed to ask for anything to be passed to them, such as water etc. They had to wait to be offered. So of course if they wanted somerhing, they would either wait or offer it to the next person, in the hope it would be offered back!

I wonder what some of today's parents would make of that and the lesson of it.

It's a little bit staged when a whole class does it, but tbh in most adult contexts, where formal or semi-formal behaviour is required, you'd naturally rise from your seat to greet someone entering the room. If you don't know them and you're junior, you would wait to be introduced to them and shake hands. Obviously this is impractical in a whole class situation, where the head may just have entered the room for a quick word with the teacher, but I see it as an extension of this principle.

The class acknowledge the teacher's presence by standing, and I would expect the teacher to show respect in return by acknowledging their gesture - something like "Hello everyone, please sit down. I've just popped in for a quick word with Mr X".

Personally I see it as something respectful on both sides since it involves the children in an interaction between the head and the teacher - their presence is acknowledged rather than ignored.

Absolutely fine and respectful. Likewise if a parent goes to see the head I am sure he/she will stand up to greet them ... unless head is trying to make a point by not doing so.

Blimey, bit young, aren't they? Do they all have to submit a CV and subject themselves to a rigorous 3-day interview process?...

Oh, I see.

On the contrary, the whole profession has been systematically devalued over many years. Once upon a time teachers were respected, as they still are on the continent in some places.

I'm not sure how on earth we manage to attract intelligent graduates into the profession if we treat them like idiots. And it's certainly the case in higher and further education, and to some extent in schools I suspect, that the actual front-line teaching staff who know the subject and have the actual relationships with students, are treated as bottom of the pile below estates staff, admin staff, professional services staff and pretty much everyone else.

I guess you reap what you sow.

I am 44 and when I was at school we had to stand up when any teacher came into the room. We also had to lineup to go into the class and be silent. I can’t see that as a problem because it’s a mark of respect and I didn’t go to private school. I just went to a bog, standard small town comprehensive in Yorkshire

We had to curtsy for out headteacher in in first school 😳Its was the 80's and she was a bit batshit crazy even by 80's standards

No yabu. Giving and receiving respect is important to instil.

How many people here stand when they greet another adult? Do you always stand when another adult comes into where you are?

Im not into this. There’s manners and then there is teaching sub-ordinance and I’m not into that.

I’m big keen on manners but I’m not into this. Personal opinion. However I wouldn’t say anything to the school about it, as it’s not that big of a deal.

How many people here stand when they greet another adult? Do you always stand when another adult comes into where you are?

Yes, because I was taught good manners as a child.

No.
It shows respect.
We used to do it in the 00’s.
I’m glad some schools still do it. Shows that kids are still being taught good manners.

🤷🏻‍♀️

So you always stand, every time an adult is around you? Bizarre. I wouldn’t expect that from anyone and I don’t view it as good manners. In some circumstances get up and shake someone hands but I rarely see anyone doing that and I don’t think it’s manners personally.

Different strokes I guess.

Draconian would mean being put to death for not doing it, so no.

Excellent mental training for getting ready to focus, think, present themselves well, pay attention, stand up at an interview, wedding, funeral etc, without having to be nudged, shake hands - all the polite, considerate social stuff.

YABU.

Me. I mean, isn't this just normal. Sitting in coffee shop waiting for a friend... stand up to give her a kiss or a hug on arrival. sitting at bar meeting friends - stand up to kiss or hug on arrival. sitting in meeting room waiting for the client to arrive - stand up to shake hands when they come in. sitting on the couch when friends arrive at my house - stand up to greet them.

it's pretty standard.

I mean sure, I don't stand up everytime someone walks into a room, but as a rule, greetings are done standing up.

Hold on. Do we mean stand as in 'mark of respect' or stand to give then a hug??

I'd stand only to hug a relative I've not seen in a while.

Wouldn't occur to stand for my mum or anyone I see regularly. They just come in and sit down.