Wanky things you’re guilty of

[Pumpkittenspice]

For me, it’s using a Fortnum and Mason hamper basket as a piece of decor…

🤣. Not just me then.. Plus Ive been heard to throw in "No darling it's platinum" when asked if it's silver. I also have the very pretty hardback books think they were folio society reprints. DM bless her, liked really good things, buy the best once & done. I have inherited that trait. I have some clothes that are at least 25 years old. A lot of our furniture is 200+ years old... Also inherited. But then Im also known to refill the 'posh' soap dispenser with Aldi soap.

Oh dear:

Barbour coats and Hunter wellies
Mulberry cross body bag for holding the poo bags and phone every day
Little Greene and Sanderson paints and wallpaper
Almost every item of dining accessory you can think of in antique solid silver, including sandwich tongs, bread fork, butter curling knife, napkin rings, wine coasters and pip trays which affix to your plate
Range Rover, old Defender, Jaguars
Braces of partridges and pheasants left in our porch by a shooting friend
L’Occitane shower gel every day (Vervaine)
Trip to France every year to browse the brocantes and flea markets
Taxidermy stags’ heads (antique)
Folio Society book collection
F&M hamper (in laundry room)
Having a laundry room
Hiding the microwave in the laundry room
Light switches in oak and brass
Cast iron bateau bath
Not having my qualifications in my email signature as I had more than my colleagues and I didn’t want to look like I was showing off
Recent holiday on a friend’s yacht, sailing in Greece (NOT a catamaran)
A large upholstered footstool in the centre of the room with glossy home magazines on it
Denby for every day crockery

My husband and I are solidly working class and live in the Black Country 😬

Came on here to find out about the mussel pincers. I'd really like some and they'd make nice earrings when there isn't an R in the month wouldn’t they?

Also, very concerned about all those overhead Le Creuset racks. When not wanking, are Mumsnetters very good at DIY? Because in our house, that would spell DANGER.
Not sure if it's wanky but our spare room has a Habitat bed settee that our dear departed JR dug a hole in to store his collection of golf balls.

You make me feel like I need to up my game [cracks knuckles]

I agree with Arraminta.
@BlackCountryWench2 working class my bottom!

I went to a grotsville school but my nickname was Bunty!

Honestly! My dad started work in a coal mine at 14 and later worked metal bashing in factories, Mom worked on the checkouts at Asda. State school educated, and our Black Country dialect is so strong we can use it to talk in code when we’re out of the area. I do have to say that my best mate has spare keys to our house and she labelled the keyring “Lord and Lady Muck” 🤣🤣🤣

Awwww this is like the MN threads from 15 years ago when everyone was trying out-middle-class each other and boast about it

Good times

What pray is wanky about a salt pig? I have one (2nd after the first broke) and am now deeply concerned in case any guests who stray into the kitchen will now have their wankery-antennae twitching!

DD wet herself at school once in reception a few years back. They gave me her pants and tights in a nice little turquoise bag.
I’d been to London shopping that day and was back at school to pick her and her brother up from school.
A posh mum came bounding over and, noticing my bag, said ooh bought something nice from Fortnum and Mason? I quickly clocked the logo on the turquoise bag and said oh yes, I love it there.
Not sure if wank but definitely felt like a fraud - never been to F and M and had spent most of my time in Oxford Street Topshop 😱

Me! I put mine on fb free cycle 😊

You sound like one of my sisters 🤣 , but she's not in west Midlands lol

One neighbour had a hot tub and bought a genuine red telephone box as their changing room, which they had craned into the back garden.

Sound like the modern day equivalent of the Larkins from the Darling Buds of May 😹

I already mentioned using F&M basket as decor. I also have:

Barbour waxed jacket
Hunter wellies
Le Creuset salt and pepper mills, butter dish and utensil jar
Napkin rings
Cotton serviettes
Antique furniture
White Company cotton towels
Stunt White Company tea towel (had to train DP to not use that specific one)
I didn’t know brass light switches were wanky, but I have those too!
Ralph Lauren coffee table book as decor

I too am working class to my core. I’m from the South Wales valleys. My Grandfather was a miner.

I also decant own brand washing up liquid into my Fairy Max Power bottle… I’m expecting to be flamed now

I do all of this!
I have fairy lights over the aga and bronze shit hanging above
I use antique Japanese vases to hold my make up brushes
My house has a name (came with it, I half want to change it as it's a bit twee)
Most of my clothes are designer/silk/cashmere but...

I live near some incredible charity shops that enable me to indulge all this nonsense

I wear tweed and wax jackets for practicality not fashion.

I help drive a carriage. That's got to win . I competed in carriage driving this weekend and got a rosette. Long story.

God I'm reading more and I have a load of Emma bridgewater plates. And lots of vintage/antique ones. Loads of cake plates. And a cake stand. And a silver cake slice. And silver forks and spoons.

But again, I have the best charity shops and a good eye.

As evidence - recently got a real vintage mulberry handbag (I know it's real as I've got a couple and wore it in the store and they confirmed it)

£7

Method Rhubarb spray - it’s amazing 🙌

It is. I also love the Clementine one.

It's not wanky, though. I get it when it's on offer for £2.75 (it sometimes works out even cheaper when Amazon do the two pack deals)

Edited to add: it's all on offer at the minute over on Amazon. Even cheaper if you subscribe to monthly / bi monthly.

I'm so achingly middle class that I don't even notice.

It's just my stuff. Dualit kettle (though is 20 years old) le creuset salt pig, pewter goblets for water (£6 for 4 charity shop). At the last count 6 fancy jugs. Black lab. Which is hilarious as I grew up working class and went to a shit school. Did well professionally and academically. Books and art everywhere.

DH is basically upper class and we kind of met in the middle.

DD named after a stunt fruit

Honestly I'd hate myself but I never really think about it. And half the stuff is hand me downs/charity shop.

I have the vapours. I have seen the word serviettes!

I shall have issues now getting the housekeeper to press the napery

I have to admit to the same when seeing that word. One absolutely cannot possibly be wankery posh and say (Sssh!) 'serviette'

I'd imagine this type of thing would be something one would be offered with one's 'Fry Up' at a Greasy Spoon type establishment.

<wanders off clutching pearls in search of smelling salts>

Now like Mrs @Shannith (or should that be Shynyth?)
I never buy anything new except personal items.
My 'stuff' is inherited or auctions. A la Alan Clarke. I shudder to think of Dunhelm Mill and their polyester drapes.
My late mother was from a very posh family, Daddy a soldier. But it was interesting to find out through the DS who's a CS at a certain department I'm a Major's daughter! My father thought it all autumn plums.

You drive a carriage - wow. Do
you all turn into pumpkins at midnight?!

'autumn plums' bollocks.