Jay Blades charged for abuse of his wife

[MorrisZapp]

He's appeared in court. The charges are controlling and coercive behaviour, emotional abuse and physical abuse. The charges relate to his estranged wife.

God almighty, what next BBC?

Same, I was recently at a school event and watched my ex leap to help a frail lady he didn't know to her seat.

The same ex who screamed abuse in my face when I was seriously ill and needed him to call an ambulance. The same ex who screamed abuse at DS and and I a&e when we were waiting for DS to be seen (the nurse did tell him off but sadly must have been to busy to record it in her notes)

And the King must have known too!

Just because its 1 in 7 men are dangerous to women
It doesnt mean the man who works in a nursery is a danger to children
What a weird way to look at this

In on what?

We all know theres a ‘huge’ story to come out ‘soon’ but none of us know WHO it is for sure

Just because its 1 in 7 men are dangerous to women
It doesnt mean the man who works in a nursery is a danger to children

Slightly better odds than Russian roulette I suppose.

It was a surprise to me, and I'm someone who is hyper vigilant and relies heavily on intuition due to an abusive upbringing myself. I just didn't get any bad vibes from him at all.

I'm glad his wife was able to get away from him and their relationship.

It’s an act! On tv they are acting! You really don’t know what their private life is like.

Although how he was thought worthy of an MBE is beyond me! He presents tv shows! It’s his job.

I always hear about the DJ rumours, but no actual information. What's it all about?

I've only watched the Repair show a couple of times and I couldn't take to him. He had a mild air of arrogance about him.

They're joking.

So true and I think we'll only make progress in dealing with domestic violence when it's appreciated just how endemic but unacceptable it is.Why would anyone think that a bloke with a pleasant TV persona wouldn't be an abuser.This is precisely why these people get off with being abusers and why their partners suffer such trauma.

54! That can't be right. I definitely thought he was in is mid sixties to seventy.

It must be absolutely awful being in an abusive relationship and seeing that person behaving so perfectly to everyone else, be it at a sports day or on TV.

I had an abusive relationship when i was 20 ish. He would be utterly vile to me, but as soon as anyone else was around he would be lovely and sweetness and light. Once they were gone, it was back to being vile again as if a switch had flipped.

I found it hard enough to deal with, i can't imagine what it must be like to have him doing that on national tv over and over again. "Look how nice i can be too other people, just not you, you're not worth it".

Without googling, might be all that stuff he did about dyslexia and adults not being able to read.

Well hopefully they stop airing the show of yet another male abuser.

Same. I felt he came across as a professional victim. Red flag behaviour as in my own experience this is very much the type.

me too

I'm not surprised or shocked. As others have said, abusive men are so common and there's absolutely no way of telling from a public persona.

I was absolutely shocked many years ago when Justin Lee Collins, the cuddly, self deprecating comedian turned out to be a brutal psycho. Since then I realise it could be literally anyone.

I had an argument with DP about it last night, he said things like 'innocent until proven guilty' and 'ruined career' and I realised that he just doesn't get it. He does believe the victim, but he doesn't think the abuser should be named until found guilty. I stopped the discussion as I knew we couldn't possibly agree.

It must be absolutely awful being in an abusive relationship and seeing that person behaving so perfectly to everyone else, be it at a sports day or on TV.

It is.

I always used to think that alleged abusers etc should be unamed because they could very well be innocent. I've seen this happen to someone close to me and there lives were ultimately ruined

However, it's becoming harder to feel this way when they are all being found guilty.

When it involves celebs, I'm not even surprised anymore, it feels like a case if when it comes out rather then they would never do that

This is how I feel about him, too. Quite chilling when you've come across it before.

Can I ask a question, as someone who has been in this situation but is also Autistic?

Those saying they got bad vibes or didn't like JB and are unsurprised he's been charged with domestic abuse - can you describe what you mean?

I'm asking as I've been on my own for a long time as I'm continuing a process of learning about red flags/my own history and how it's affected me.

I've done Freedom Programme, read Lundy Bancroft, did work with Women's Aid and can see where the red flags were in my own relationships.

But I didn't get a single bad feeling about JB - he seemed really nice (which I realise is the role of people on TV - being 'professionally nice' is his job, of course).

Just really curious.

@MrsToddsShortcut I didn't get any bad vibes from him at all. I thought he came across as lovely on TV. I wouldn't worry that you're not picking up any bad vibes. He's presenting his best face on TV and obviously isn't representative of his true personality.