Job advert for volunteer to cuddle babies in NICU

[columbosscruffycoat]

My local health authority has just advertised for volunteers to go and work in the nicu cuddling babies. It’s not a joke, it’s a genuine advert. I can’t imagine any parent would want some random person cuddling their poorly baby. I can’t believe the nhs has come to this. Just wondered what people think about this and whether it’s happening anywhere else in the uk. I’m in the northwest uk.

My heart broke reading that, thank God for volunteers like you

There still could be plenty of reasons why that you weren't aware of. Especially as just an acquaintance.

Sitting there 24/7 refusing any and all breaks doesn't automatically make someone a better parent.

This is a very, very common thing.

The word you forgot is please

Thank you to all those who have done this. I would love to volunteer doing this, will keep an eye out for volunteering opportunities. I have been a peer to peer breastfeeding supporter before and really enjoyed helping where I could.

When my twins were in nicu no one was allowed in apart from parents.
I'd be nightly fucked off if randoms were
Going in to cuddle them.

@columbosscruffycoat I can’t imagine any parent would want some random person cuddling their poorly baby

I can’t believe someone would write that. How much experience do you have in NICU’s?

This has been around for well over 25 years, nothing to do with the state of the system.

You do realise that sometimes babies are in NICU for several months and parents have other children at home and may also live hours from the hospital. One of mine was in NICU for months. Round trip was 3hrs. I would go 5 days a week, school hours so I could spend time with the other kids, DH would go 1 day and the other day they had a ‘cuddle mum’ while we did housework, washing, shopping, batch cooking etc.

During our stay there, there were two babies whose parents lived remote on farming stations. That means a drive of a few hours to a remote airstrip, a small plane to a larger airport, a standard plane to major city the hospital us in, then train from airport to hospital. Thats a trip that takes two days. Dad has to work 7 days on the farm - there are other kids at home to look after and homeschool (they do school of the air as too far to travel to school). In those cases, over the several months their babies were in NICU, the mums had to go home to look after their other kids and keep the household rocking over. They came for two days once a month, which was four days in total (incl travel) away from their other kids. The rest of the time the babies were allocated a ‘cuddle mum’. The parent rings in once a day and the cuddle mum updates them on baby, not medically but just from a human point of view so they can feel connected.

Far from parents not wanting a ‘random person cuddling their poorly baby’, it’s a service some parents are grateful for.

There are also 101 other scenarios I have seen where such people are needed, such as family has vehicle accident, mum critical, baby born on arrival at hospital and in NICU, mum in ICU, dad by bedside if injured kids, cuddle mum in NICU with baby etc.

They have their place. Mocking their use is really poor form.

I’m a volunteer at a neonatal unit and this is common, families can of course decide if they want their babies to be held. It’s extremely beneficial for premature and sick babies to be held. In our unit, volunteers are all parents that had their own babies in neonatal care and we are all DBS checked.

There are a number of reasons why parents might not be around as often as they wished: small children at home; living far away from the hospital where the baby is; having to go back to work etc. Being held, listening to stories or songs is soooo important for these babies, it’s amazing how the NHS looks into their care in a more holistic way.

Surely if a trusted professional explained to you that your baby would benefit from this, you would be willing to deal with your own upset and discomfort?

I find it absolutely astounding that anyone would question this or even contemplate denying their child this comfort. As has been stated multiple times this isn’t volunteers snatching cuddles away from parents for their own benefit. This is for babies who need it when parents aren’t able to provide it.

I disagree. As a NICU Mum with two older children, I feel like I neglected my older two for months because I wanted to be at the NICU with my poorly baby. She wasn't allowed to be held for first few weeks but I would have loved the chance to spend an hour with my eldest two while someone held my baby's hand and read to her.

There were multiple babies in our time there where there was not a present parent and in these situations especially I can see how this role would help.

It's for babies who don't have parents able to visit them and hold them for whatever reason.

Nicu's are a very delicate and emotional place. Parents can't be there 24/7 after a while especially if there's work and other siblings to take care of at home and some families come from very far as their nearest or local hospital isn't equipped to take care of certain babies. Families can come from the Channel Islands and eventually at one point they need to go home. You basically watch and wait for a baby to grow and grow strong enough to be discharged hopefully and it takes time so in the meantime these babies need to be cuddled and soothed as that's what they need to thrive.

Bless you, that sounds wonderful. What a fantastic, kind person you are. I was a premature baby similarly weaned off heroin in NICU 43 years ago... my birth mum probably couldn't be there, so I hope they had wonderful people like you to help the poorly babies. It certainly would have been amazing for the babies ❤️✨️

I would still decline and would want just myself and my dh to be cuddling and bonding with them when we were able to and for nurses and drs to do any necessary medical care

Possibly a coincidence, but my mother has also said that even though I rarely slept more than about three hours at a time, I never, ever cried and would just lay in my cot, looking at the ceiling and playing with a blanket. I think that could mean that nobody cuddled me more than a couple of times for a few minutes for weeks.

@NeverDropYourMooncup sorry about your rough start. But I don't tihnk that is the reason. Barring medical or neurological reasons, the placidness is your personality, not because you were 'neglected' for 9 days after birth.

My oldest was premature and had to stay in the preemie unit for 6 weeks.

In all that time, I was there every minute I could be.

I was there for hours every day and I never saw another parent in all that time.

Most of the babies there had parents who were addicted to drugs, but one family had a holiday abroad arranged and had just gone leaving the baby behind.

They all needed a cuddle and the nurses didn't have time.

I'm really sorry to hear that, Alakazam.

Must have been devastating for you and your Family.

My lovely MIL lost a baby, too in hospital shortly after she was born.

She and her husband never forgot her {and another baby girl they lost pre term again due to pre eclampsia}

People can judge a lot on MN and don't know what has gone on in another's life.

I think you are forgetting that there are babies and small children out there that require hospital treatment and do not the luxury of loving parents to stay with them.
These babies need human touch and love in their hour of need and sometimes there is a shortage of nurses to offer this as frequently as they wish the could.
When my toddler nephew was in hospital for a few days following surgery, there were two babies on the ward that had no parents visit at all in the three days he was on the ward.
Turns out one of the babies was in social care and the other baby had an older sister with high needs who needed mum at home.
I think it is a great idea to have somebody to hold and engage with these babies.
If you had seen the four month old lying in his cot looking at a mobile for hours, in between feeds and check ups, I am sure you would agree.

This is exactly what I meant about duty of care to me @bawdrip. Hospital 1 we were sent off about 11pm. They covered the incubators to block out the light and wanted quiet. No one was expected in before breakfast. I snook down at 2 am one night and got kindly told off and sent back to bed after a quick peek. Hospital 2 was similar, the expectation was that at a certain time lights went down the ward was quiet. Hospital 3 was PICU so older kids too so never really quiet but they enforced the parents out thing more strongly for the sake of the kids who couldn't have a parent there. When we returned to the second hospital they got us to go off site for dinner once a week. It's a marathon not a sprint. We only did 13 weeks the first time and by week 9 we were in a private room on a general ward so I slept on a chair next to his bed for a month with ahit sleep cos SATS checks. Thankfully I was able to do it because I'd had 6-7 hours of disturbed sleep for two months.

Second stay at 1 year I slept bedside for four months and would still be sent off for fresh air or to eat when there was help available (god bless student nurses!).

Thankfully by 18 months we had him home for good.

Please people, don't judge those of us who did our best, even if our best wasn't seemingly as good as yours.

💔
Poor little mite

This has been a role for years and isn’t new

I didn't know that! I've got a 4 month old and I've never had skin to skin - I'd never heard of it until recently

Yes this is common.

I can’t imagine how mean spirited someone would have to be to see an ad about something they clearly know nothing about, assume they know everything, and immediately have a negative take worthy of sharing.

There are lots of reasons parents can’t always be there in NICU. Parents with multiple children, single parents, parents with other children with disabilities, parents who have to go back to work so their other kids have a roof over their heads, parents who are in a different hospital or in ICU in the same hospital….

I actually cannot believe people have so little empathy they can think of no reason for this.

A volunteer would be there for the children that DO NOT have family there.
Since you WOULD be there , you would not have to decline an offer would you?

A volunteer would be there for the children that DO NOT have family there.
Since you WOULD be there , you would not have to decline an offer would you?