Job advert for volunteer to cuddle babies in NICU

[columbosscruffycoat]

My local health authority has just advertised for volunteers to go and work in the nicu cuddling babies. It’s not a joke, it’s a genuine advert. I can’t imagine any parent would want some random person cuddling their poorly baby. I can’t believe the nhs has come to this. Just wondered what people think about this and whether it’s happening anywhere else in the uk. I’m in the northwest uk.

To volunteer in a hospital it usually takes weeks or months of checks and vetting.

It will also include babies whose mother is seriously ill, has died or where the child is subject to a care order. They need cuddles - a little octopus toy, sweet and helpful though it is, isn't a substitute for the touch of a caring human, one that will be able to stay for longer and free overworked staff to be able to perform nursing care without worrying as much about if their babies are being comforted.

The idea sounds lovely, but I hope there is robust support in place for the volunteers, particularly where the little ones are very seriously ill and outcomes aren't so good. I think that emotional impact on volunteers needs to be openly addressed both before and during their volunteering.

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack : Ofc, hadn’t thought about scenario too. Thank you for all you do.

Babies in neonatal have a better chance of thriving if cuddled, it's just human nature. Not every parent can be with their baby all the time, some will have other children, possibly with high needs and quite often the hospital can be really far away from where they live, one couple lived 120 miles away when my grandson was in. Volunteers will need a disclosure check. I think it sounds lovely ☺️

It sounds like you would rather your child would have died alone in an incubator than be held by a suitably vetted volunteer?

Very odd. Maybe do some research about poor outcomes involved for such children who don't get held and the reality of paid staffing levels in NHS neonatal care.

This isn't new or revolutionary, it's been happening for decades. Babies need touch and affection it is absolutely crucial to their development.

Women were even drafted in to wards to breastfeed babies back in the 50's and 60's. We are humans.

My eldest was in NICU for 1 week and being my first, DH and I were there all the time, me literally 24/7 as I had a bed on transitional care and after the first day DS was beside my bed. When I was pregnant with second baby, I worried a bit about what would happen if she also unexpectedly needed NICU as obviously with a toddler at home, I might not be able to stay in the hospital so long. I felt quite emotional thinking about her all alone once I had been discharged. Fortunately she was fine but that situation obviously does happen to many many people.

I don’t see the issue, especially as the link pp posted talks about it in the context of when parents either can’t be there for whatever reason or need a break.

I spent a long time in hospital with my newborn and as I was breastfeeding I rarely left his side- cup of tea, shower, loo and maybe 3 hours to sleep if I was lucky. So I spent most nights on the ward and all days. I couldn't believe how many parents would leave late afternoon and reappear, or disappear for a few hours at a time. They knew their babies were in the best hands but my God, I would run down to the shop and back and feel so guilty for leaving him.
One night a baby suffering drug withdrawal literally screamed all night, there were two nurses in the bay for 8 babies. I stayed with mine all night, one held the screaming baby as much as she could and the other nurse dealt with the other 6. It was heartbreaking. This baby just needed to be held. As did the others but at least they slept on and off so the nurse could do all her checks in-between. If parents can't (won't??) be there 24/7 then anyone to cuddle is better than no one. I got strong agreement from them when i expressed surprise at being the only mum there most of the time.These were all recently operated on babies who had been through traumatic surgery.
I'd like to volunteer for this when I'm retired.

Well that assumes people have a number of unemployed relatives and friends hanging around, it also assumes they have a valid DBS and have completed training to safely hold premature and unwell babies. It also exposes the babies on the ward to far too many adults. NICU is generally staff and parents of the baby and no one else being allowed entry.

I answered before reading all the replies, I now realise it's an incredibly positive thing. I guess I answered on my first instincts but didn't consider that mothers would be juggling other siblings, babies born addicted to drugs etc.

Do you feel the same about people who want to work in nursery baby rooms?

I think for some parents they wouldn't like it, wouldn't be comfortable with it, but those babies are maybe less likely to need a volunteer to cuddle them?
Babies with very poorly parents or stretched parents between siblings, or sadly unsuitable parents must benefit from the human contact so much.

I'm not sure if I could do it to be honest, I think I'd get far too attached and emotional, I do think it's a wonderful idea though.

Who can all take time off work to cover round the clock shifts and all be enhanced DBS checked in time to be allowed in the Neonatal unit with not just their own kin but other peoples vulnerable children?!

Yeah okay ffs

Yep it’s a legitimate part of a volunteers role in NICU (worked there a long time). Babies born dependent on drugs in particular really benefit from being held, and nurses just don’t have the time to do it as much as they need unfortunately. They don’t do any care such as nappy changing or feeds etc.

Sounds like a lovely idea.

However, I may head off to Pedants' Corner about the LEP's spelling of entail.... 🤔

Some of those other parents may well have older children or other caring responsibilities. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a partner or family who is able or willing to look after older siblings. Someone whose partner is away in the military, or a single mum, or self employed and can't take paternity leave, and is relying on a friend for childcare whilst in labour- how long do you think the friend with her own houseful of children is going to be able to help for? NICU admissions can be months long!
I'm sure some of the parents you came across will have been taking the mickey, but I suspect most have good reasons.

When we were in NICU I saw people doing this. We were lucky I could just live at hospital but the reality is people have other kids, their baby might be in a hospital miles from home, they might have twins in different hospitals. So babies get left alone. Human contact is so important. I'd be grateful someone was helping look after my baby.

Conversely, when I was in surgical ward there was a very young baby, never saw parents or carers. Nurses and HCA did their best carrying her round but she just needed more. Someone paid to just cuddle her would have made her life so much happier.

I was very unwell in late pregnancy and it was likely at 32 weeks that I’d have a section under full anaesthetic before going into ICU and the baby would go to another hospital to a NICU.

We had an autistic 5yo at home at the time, and my husband couldn’t be in 3 places. My parents had to move in with us to look after my 5yo and I made DH promise that if it happened, he’d follow the baby and leave me behind. Fortunately it didn’t come to that, but I can easily imagine situations where parents can’t be with their NICU baby around the clock.

Is your baby being alone better though? Yes nurses will come in and do checks, take SATS, comfort when they can but they simply have too many babies each to just sit and hold them.

I spent a long time in neonatal care with my baby. I'd have hated it if I'd walked in and found someone else cuddling him.
I think that more should be done to support families spending more time with their babies in hospital, wherever possible.

Not all babies are born in situations where parents or families/friends of parents are safe or even interested. I have worked in NICUs. A lot. there are plenty of babies born each year to people either dangerous or disinterested.

the outrage here really speaks to the privilege a lot of Mumsnetters have. I have cuddled and sang to a withdrawing baby multiple times at 3am on a night shift while writing my notes as the on call doctor. It’s a part of the caring duty. Being held is a medical requirement for babies.

Oh wow this has made me absolutely well up. That innocent baby. What an amazing thing you did.

You can volunteer through Bliss, the premature baby charity, to become a volunteer on a NICU ward. It's a very important role for babies who don't have regular visitors.

https://www.bliss.org.uk/about-us/about-bliss