Job advert for volunteer to cuddle babies in NICU

[columbosscruffycoat]

My local health authority has just advertised for volunteers to go and work in the nicu cuddling babies. It’s not a joke, it’s a genuine advert. I can’t imagine any parent would want some random person cuddling their poorly baby. I can’t believe the nhs has come to this. Just wondered what people think about this and whether it’s happening anywhere else in the uk. I’m in the northwest uk.

They've been doing it in USA for years. It's a highly coveted volunteer role.

Don’t be ridiculous

My story was I was pretty much alone in an hospital or 4 weeks after i was born. I'm one half of a twin (they went home) and the last of a big family. I was a very anxious child. Maybe being cuddled would have made a difference.

Really? My cousin had her baby in NICU. She was too ill to do anything. Her DH had to care for their other child. This is in another country so I hope they had volunteers. Poor baby would have been very touch deprived. Volunteers are properly trained. Has this thread really not made you rethink? It was touch and go for my cousin for weeks. Baby’s dad was there as much as possible but had a toddler to go home and look after. Who will cuddle baby when they are distressed? You’d really rather no one or it has to be a paid person?

Sorry, I thought I'd made it clear that obviously some can't be there all the time. I'm not judging anyone in even remotely similar circumstances to you. Honestly, I witnessed parents who really felt no obligation to be with their baby at all. You sound like a fantastic parent who also has been through a really hard hospital stay. I also had two under 7 back home, they would visit me every day but I knew they were OK back home and I knew that for the 21 days I was in, I was needed by my newborn. He really wouldn't let me put him down for more than 10 minutes before waking up screaming. It was relentless. But I did it,which I why I couldn't believe how casual some parents were.

Stupid scaremongering comment.

They're Enchanced DBS Checked and never left alone with the babies.

And DBS checked. It's not like they'll just let anyone do it. Some hospitals have always done this, its not reflective of the NHS current issues and it can be good for the baby. I'm sure if a parent doesn't want it they could also say that their baby wasn't to be part of that program.

🙄

Your babies would have liked it though, if you couldn’t be there.

It’s a lovely thing to do. Some parents can’t be with their children in hospital and it’s heartbreaking watching these babies be alone so much. It’s not just NICU, I’ve seen children of all ages be left alone because the parents have to be elsewhere and it’s heart wrenching

Oh that's broken my heart 😞

You can opt out of it for your baby. It wouldn't be forced. But it's amazing for those babies who need it.

There are already lots of volunteers in hosps eg breastfeeding support on neonatal unit.

I'm another NICU mum. My logical, practical brain can absolutely understand how valuable this can be. My emotional, hormonal brain which still gets very upset thinking back to that time, feels very sad at the thought of someone else cuddling my baby when I couldn't be there - probably because i desperately wanted to be there all the time. I'm lucky that it was my first baby who spent time in NICU / SCBU and I was able to room in for all but one night, so I was able to be there most of the time (except for going home to shower as the hospital showers had no water for a week). I'll always be very grateful to the drs and nurses who cared for DD for the first 24hrs of her admittance whilst I was ill on the ward and DH was trying to look after us both. I remember cuddling my baby one night in SCBU and one of the night nurses singing to another baby across the room. But that somehow feels different to a volunteer doing the same role (even though logically it shouldn't be the case?) I think maybe because it's such a hard feeling being sent home without your baby that it's like a visceral response to that? Anyway, that's a long way of saying not to judge those posters on this thread who say they wouldn't want it because NICU experiences are tied up in a whole host of complex emotions that differs even depending on each baby's exact circumstances.

They appeared casual. They might have been or that might have been how they were coping and detaching themselves from their reality.

Well said.

Any volunteers are bound to be strictly vetted and trained.

If a parent can't be there, a well vetted, trained volunteer is better than lying on their own with no interactions.

I was badly injured when my son was born and ended up on the high dependency unit after losing a lot of blood. He developed sepsis and had to go on the SCBU. I couldn’t be with him for long as I was so unwell and his dad was trying to balance looking after him and checking in on me, all while making sure he didn’t fall asleep in the chair while holding him. I was so upset at the thought of the baby waking up in the night and being on his own and I cried and cried about it. The nurses were amazing but they had several babies to look after. Luckily, we had grandparents nearby who were able to come and relieve his dad so he could get some rest. If they hadn’t been available, I would have loved to know that a volunteer was cuddling my baby.
(We are both fine now.)

I don't think anyone who wonders this can have spent any time in a neonatal unit.

I only had a few weeks there, but before that, I had no idea. I would have assumed I would be allowed to spend 24/7 with my newborn, not discharged and refused accommodation when I lived over an hour away.

I assumed there would be a bed for every baby, not people being transferred hundreds of miles away from their support networks because the unit was full.

I would also have assumed there would be a mum caring for every baby, but there were a surprising % who never got a visitor.

When I walk past the hospital now, I always wonder about the women in there, like a few I met, who arrived in a helicopter then barely saw the light of day for months, living alone in a daze of expressing and sitting by a cot while their partners had to go back to work and were hours away.

I also have a friend whose premature twins were in different hospitals an hour apart due to their differing care needs for months and then one was discharged while the other was still in hospital. Dad had two weeks paternity leave then back to FT work. It's not always possible for even the most dedicated parent to be there all the time so it's great that hospitals recognise the benefit of volunteer 'cuddlers'.

Babies really do need to be cuddled it's so good for them.

If my baby had needed nicu i would have had to leave him alone as I have a disabled child at home I couldn't leave. I myself was very sick for a week after he was born traumatic labour fucked me up- and he stayed in with me but if he needed nicu again he would have been on his own dad was off work caring for disabled son. Long term nicu babies dads do have to work so if mum unavailable or unsuitable and dad not available/unsuitable should a baby have life long development impacted by it when there are volunteers willing to do it?

It was 21 days. Take it up with my son who wouldn't let me leave him. It was him deciding he needed me 24/7, not the nurses. It wouldn't have occurred to me they had a duty of care to me, they were there to keep my son alive, and so was I. I'm not shitting on you at all. There truly were some totally uninterested parents there. Many many more who were incredible, like you sound to be, but some who really shocked me also.

I had premature twins and was unable to stay with my girls all the time. Initially because I was too unwell and was in isolation in a different part of the hospital. And my husband was at home caring for our older DD. Even when I was well enough to be discharged from the hospital I was still too unwell to spend all night in special care with my twins. A lot of mums have a traumatic birth/pregnancy with premature babies (hence the babies being premature).

There are no bed for parents in NICU/SCBU there are just chairs. Additionally you can't eat or drink anything other than water on the ward. So you had to leave the ward to even have a hot drink and biscuit.

In terms of visitors - family could only visit when either parents were on there.

I would of greatly appreciated knowing a volunteer was there to cuddle my girls when it was just impossible for my husband or I to be there. It may of eased some of my guilt everytime I left them. Additionally I had guilt for all the bedtimes of my older DD I missed by being in the hospital.

I don't think you can judge a parent for leaving a baby in NICU/SCBU until you have been through their scenario.

This isn't a new initiative. Often parents cannot be there 24/7, one parent may have had to go back to work, one may be needed at home to look after older siblings.
It's something I would love to do when I retire.

This breaks my heart. I am so glad you were there for him.

Tell me you've never had a prem baby without telling me you have never had a prem baby.

Mine was hooked up to wires and monitors at first so we needed several nurses just to put her in our arms and they were often too busy to do it. I'd prefer they used the limited resource they had for that with the parents. Then she was under a jaundice lamp and she was only allowed out for 15 minutes twice a day. So for most of the time she was in nicu all I could do was sit by the side of her fishbowl and look at her. And premmies don't usually cry - they are still supposed to be in the womb after all. Nicus are usually silent save for the machine alarms.

I was desperate to hold my baby and would not have been amused to walk into the unit to find a random volunteer having cuddles. I can see it might be different for those babies with mothers who can't or won't care for them.

Thanks for the nasty assumption.

I don't have a child that survived the NICU.

HTH.