Allergies at a child's party

[Silverbook]

I'm hoping the wisdom and experience of Mumsnetters could help me out with this one....

I'm hosting a birthday party for DC. The collective allergies include- eggs, dairy and gluten. I'm not going to even start contemplating baking a cake to cater for that (DC will get a cake with family the following day) but what can I use to substitute for a cake, as having Happy Birthday sung is a BIG deal for DC.

Any suggestions?

Have a cake and give the allergy kids a suitable cupcake. They don’t need to eat the cake at the party - send it home in bags.

Individual cupcakes to put into party bags and a big candle on DC’s cupcake to blow out and sing Happy birthday.

I had considered cupcakes but I want to avoid all cake. It's just too much faff to source GF/dairy free and egg free cupcakes, especially as I'll have baked a cake for the following day.

Jelly. We always make a jelly cat. If you have a plate that has a bit of depth you can set green jelly in it then make an orange jelly cat and put it on top.

I have a child with allergies (egg, nuts) and they have been to many many parties and would never assume they would get cake, so he is well used to not having the same as the other kids.
In the party bag the cake would be replaced with an extra treat suitable which is really nice of the parents to go out of their way to make up for it .
If they kids are eating the cake at the party then the suggestion of an allergy appropriate cupcake made previously is good is available, but I don’t think any parent of a child with allergies would except you to make a special cake .
To keep their child safe and not serve them any foods they are allergic to is enough!

As a mum to a kid with allergies I always offer to provide food for parties where the parents are catering.
If a party at a venue I don't as they're usually well equipped to deal with it.
But I wouldn't worry about the cake - if I were you I'd do a normal cake. Bonus points if you get a suitable alternative but I never expected it. I always had a back up in case they didn't get anything. Just throw an extra bag of haribo for them.

Keep the cake.
All the other kids get cake and they can have a small something else
Packet of sweets or something.

Don't overthink it or worry about it.

If you want to cater for them all with something I would make a big tiffin with gf digestives, vegan chocolate and dairy free margarine.
There's probably a lazy days cake you could buy in supermarkets too.
Otherwise something (anything) for non allergy kids an an alternative cupcake/lazy days slice in party bags.

Sainsbury's do a gluten free dairy free egg free cake for £6 .. it's alright, adults won't love it kids likely like it enough. The one we got was vanilla sponge with vanilla buttercream and sprinkles .. my daughter brought it to crèche for her birthday as there's similar allergies there

Just bung then a mini bag of haribo. The kids won't give a shit.

I would have a buffet with the allergens listed on each platter. I have a severely allergic child and want to know what he can eat, rather than restrict what other children can eat. I would also ask the parents to stay and supervise their own child in this case. Mine is 14 and although he has not been invited to a party since he was 11, I always always stayed with epipens to hand so the hosting parent did not have the stress of trying to wrangle the situation.

If you are a confident baker there are loads of vegan cake recipes, plenty with GF options. Just make sure you use either a GF cake flour with xanthan gum already mixed or add X gum. Chickpea aquafaba can be used as an egg white/whole egg substitute in a flourless cake too.

One of my sons has food allergies - I always send him with an allergen free treat for himself. No one ever caters for him and I don't expect them to.

He does care though - he is always sad that he can't have the birthday cake. He isn't a brat about it but he has been sad about it since he was old enough to understand (about 2)

It's absolutely not a faff, adda. Sainsbury's and Tesco all do free from cupcakes. I am dairy free and buy then a lot.

We had dairy, soya and gluten allergies at our wedding. We did the wedding cakes as normal but bought cupcakes suitable for the allergies

What about vegetarians with gelatine?

I’ve always just bought vegan or gluten free cupcakes for the party bags of allergy children.
Its not a party if your friends aren’t singing happy birthday to you blowing your candles out on a lovely cake.
Ive just made sure I’ve had stuff they can all eat and told the kids what they can’t have. Or asked the parents to stay if they were young

I always bring my own cupcake for my coeliac. She knows she doesn't get the birthday kid's cake

I have a child with allergies too and this is kind of my thinking too.

It's stressful enough to host a party without catering for every allergy. I would always offer to bring food but it's generally declined. My child understands he can't have any cake but a cupcake or a little packet of sweets always goes down well!

Normal cake and a special separate birthday treat for the children with allergies. Take it in the packaging so the parents can check the label first.

I normally buy the vegan free from cake from Sainsbury's - I'm not sure if that's the one already referred to above.

There are gluten dairy and egg free birthday cakes at all the major supermarkets. I have an allergy child and would really love it if someone provided them. The caterpillar cake at Sainsbury’s is good and noone would know it’s allergy friendly

www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/ProductDisplay?storeId=10151&productId=1338318&langId=44&istCompanyId=1e096408-041f-4238-994e-a7cf46bf9413&istFeedId=689af7a8-5842-4d88-be59-1ee5688a81b5&istItemId=irrtwralx&istBid=t&&cmpid=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20333793068&utm_content=shopping&utm_term=%7Bsku%7D&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=759-449-0952&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD17J_B9lskgtmasdvlR32RHZU_ZX&gclid=CjwKCAjwufq2BhAmEiwAnZqw8u83ftQUYP8ohjipQ1ZBVXA9P1CFKurKKAHDGckKnaqtCEMtWj5YUBoCUV4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Sainsbury's have several options.

I'd personally buy one like this and then everyone can join in.

Top top keep the box so parents can check the ingredients.

https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/lazy-day-foods-vegan-free-from-vanilla-cake-375g?istCompanyId=1e096408-041f-4238-994e-a7cf46bf9413&istFeedId=689af7a8-5842-4d88-be59-1ee5688a81b5&istItemId=pxwpxarta&istBid=t&&cmpid=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20333793068&utm_content=shopping&utm_term=%257Bsku%257D&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=759-449-0952&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwufq2BhAmEiwAnZqw8n63s9__qTktnWTaSNzaTHkt5O9FnuATZxbjUPVoiX4dLeuGfYX8PxoCeP4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Same 😊

I really think you should keep the cake. Allergy children are used to not having the cake. Cupcakes would really be going above and beyond. Replacing the cake with an extra treat like Haribo would be nice. Doing nothing and letting them just have the food they can eat is fine too.

Honestly I think it might be worse to not have a cake because if your child or others ask why and are told honestly it's because of peoples allergies then it makes the allergy kids even more "weird" and isolated by it as then there's resentment too.

I'd get a big caterpillar cake for the majority and these for the allergy kids. They are milk, gluten and egg free. I take them with us to parties, as my own son has an egg allergy.

groceries.asda.com/product/cake-bars-mini-rolls/asda-free-from-4-mini-frieda-caterpillar-cakes/1000347402463?&cmpid=ppc--pmax_google----google---_-dskwid-_dm&s_kwcid=AL!11432!3!!!!x!!&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwufq2BhAmEiwAnZqw8gjIBdU2qKOT8tgJb2NOdz1hx2DW8zNJWny978MRPGnE5arHGRVrWxoCifoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds