Allergies at a child's party

[Silverbook]

I'm hoping the wisdom and experience of Mumsnetters could help me out with this one....

I'm hosting a birthday party for DC. The collective allergies include- eggs, dairy and gluten. I'm not going to even start contemplating baking a cake to cater for that (DC will get a cake with family the following day) but what can I use to substitute for a cake, as having Happy Birthday sung is a BIG deal for DC.

Any suggestions?

Could you make a watermelon/fruit cake?

Out of the kids parties we've been to we've only had a slice of cake twice!
Fine to have your cake and not hand out.

Trust me kids with allergies already know what they can't have so those with egg allergies won't be expecting cake. My dd2 has a lot of allergies and fully understands that sometimes she just can't have something and is surprisingly good with this

I was going to suggest a whole watermelon with candles and/or sparklers in it. Kids can blow all over it. Wash it off after and cut up and serve.

As an allergy mum I appreciate you caring!

However, I wouldn't let my child eat anything made by the host. It's just not safe because of the risk of cross contamination and because it's easy to make a mistake when not used to baking for people with allergies.

Maybe ask the mums what they'd like?

I prefer to bring my own foods, and to copy whatever the host has made.

Otherwise, you could do fruit skewers, jelly pots, or a tub of vegan ice cream / sorbet.

Not egg free!

My DD had a rice crispy birthday cake one year which would be easy enough to make dairy free by using dairy free chocolate or cocoa powder. Rice doesn’t have gluten but you would probably need to check the packaging as it might be produced in the same factory as other products.

DD had her name written on it in icing and it was easy-ish to put candles on.

Asda do mini caterpillar cakes that are dairy, egg and gluten free. I got those and kept them separate from a big Colin the caterpillar that had the candles in. Similar enough so they don't feel
Left out but different enough so they don't get mixed up.

Love the idea of a tray bake! Thank you.

I am a confident baker but I’m very time poor and would want to go a decent job of it but don’t have the time to look into recipes/stocking up/having a practice run just now. Next year!

You can just buy one from Tesco. The Free from cakes are usually free from all those allergens.

As a mum of a Coeliac child, my DD hates having this disease. All she wants in life is to be rid of it but must accept it’s lifelong. She has to accept she will be often be excluded and have to sit and watch as others eat socially. She cries and cries after parties where she is reminded of her serious autoimmune disease by being left out and made to feel a nuisance.

It is so very kind of you to consider children with allergies and Coeliac disease and to ask advice on including them. Buying a free-from cake is the best solution. I would always be reluctant to accept a home baked GF cake - there needs to be separate wooden spoons that have not been used with gluten (due to cross contamination risk), cakes need to be kept separate, different knives used for serving. Ask the parents for advice - they will be glad to help or to discreetly supply a suitable cake.

Life is hard for these children, it is wonderful when they are included and not made to feel bad for suffering with a disease.

I ask people how they would feel if their child developed Coeliac disease, how they would feel as they watched from the sidelines at mealtimes at social gatherings. It’s wonderful to include them - you will make such a positive difference, but don’t feel you have to bake it yourself.

Perfect!

You sound so lovely! For mine I normally do a cupcake that matches the main cake if I know what it’s going to be or if I have a few allergies to take into account. Choc biscuit cake could easily (comparatively!) be vegan and gluten free. The eggfree cake shop if UK based does gluten free and vegan cakes so they could be very handy option? They’re really good - my husband couldn’t tell it was vegan although I can’t vouch for gluten free ones. SR nutrition has a fun fruit cake that looks fab - made mainly with watermelon and other fruit to decorate which could be an option?

Really it is incumbent on the parents of kids with allergies to deal with this. Gluten free is relatively easy to deal with, but in terms of cake - difficult to have egg free too. Just tell them the cake has XYZ in it but you have an alternative for those (like a cupcake as suggested by PP).

You can just buy one from Tesco. The Free from cakes are usually free from all those allergens.

They aren't usually egg free annoyingly

We have a vegan cake every year - we aren't vegan but we know a few dairy intolerant kids. It is also very common for the parents of kids with allergies to bring a substitute or most parents try and find something that they can substitute.

Party ring biscuit are dairy free - not sure whether they are egg free though.

A sweetie cake using gelatine free sweets. Most of them are vegan now.

The combination feels tricky. Lots of the free from cakes seem to either have egg or gluten - nut and dairy free seem pretty easy. We’ve had a party with all the allergies bar gluten and managed fine but adding in the gluten free makes it much harder.

marshmallows seem like a good party food for lots of allergies. Party rings and Oreo’s are good for egg free but the latter not gluten free.

Another vote for a Colin + the asda mini caterpillar cakes!

Great fun idea and you can get vegan jelly if needed. I once had a jelly brain mold which was a big hit.

As others have said, the allergy kids/parents will be well used to not being able to have cake etc other than at their own parties so I wouldn't worry too much.
I'd just get whatever cake your DC would like, do the candle blowing out thing then take it away, cut up and put in the party bags rather than eat it then and there. Just omit it from the bags for children with allergies and add something suitable from the Free From aisle instead. There's quite a good selection in most major supermarkets these days.
Most parents of children with allergies don't expect party hosts to go to a huge amount of trouble and whilst there are indeed suitable cake recipes there is a bit of an art to baking without ingredients that you're used to. It takes practice and I don't think that those of us who have to do it would generally expect a friend's parent to bake an allergy friendly cake as a one off - I certainly wouldn't.
My top tips for hosting would be keep it simple, keep it safe, and don't be offended if parents prefer to bring their own food.

I've done parties with that combo of allergies, plus halal and vegetarians. My go-to party food combo is:
-Cut up watermelon (a big hit)
-Fruit platter
-veg platter (carrot sticks, cucumber and cherry toms) and hummus
-sweet popcorn
-pizza fingers with gluten free base and vegan cheese
-lollies and sweets like moam for prizes and party bags as these are gelatine free

I do usually bite the bullet and get a professional to make a gluten and dairy free cake because the one I made was disgusting 🤣

Also as the mum of one of the allergy kids, we really really appreciate any effort at all because it's always our children who are left out

This

Absolutely

I am finding the "eh, they're used it it" a bit hard to read. Yes my child is used to being left out but they do get upset about it.