Possible to emulate a private school education?

[Palmolivia]

We are not in a grammar area so the dc will be attending a state secondary in a couple of years.. We cannot afford private school but I'm looking for ways to emulate a private school education. Is it possible & if so ideas please?

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@Mabs49 do you know how silly you sound? As I said, they are not open days as in admissions but as another poster said more like "outreaching", some are residential. They do them at Oxford. They also host things such as debating competitions, maths challenges, mini lectures etc. They used to target students on the g&t register. They provide advice for GCSE options etc. Many does NOT suggest the majority of children at private schools, just a lot of children 😅 it's pretty obvious to see the difference between an 11/12 year old and a 16 year old, don't you think? Also, as I've already said (and it's getting boring repeating myself). Not ALL private schools participate in these sorts of things. To go back to the OP's original post, most state schools are too focused on helping struggling students to pass their exams, they don't tend to push students who are excelling in the same way that private schools can. (Parents with kids at private schools feel free to correct me if I'm wrong here). Also, please don't call me a liar.

@Xtraincome its something that I did. I was ‘failing’ in a subject and so my parents supported me to go to adult college when I was 14 two nights a week - I guess in the place of tutoring. I had the option to do the exam at the end and got an A (school predicated a C at best, but likely a D). I don’t think in-person adult education is what it was, much more is online now. I’ll be doing the same for my children, hopefully in two subjects in years 9 and 10. The challenge will then be negotiating with school to stop them adding two more things in!

If you don’t write ‘silly’ things and write truthfully what is going on then there’d be no need to call you a liar.

What you wrote is untrue.

There are no ‘outreach’ (as you are now calling them) programs to private schools.

And these ‘outreach’ programs are available to all schools.

’Many’ does imply the majority.
’Few’ implies a minority.

But keep doubling down. I think most posters see this for what it was: misleading information designed to encourage hatred of people who’ve been to private school because of all that ‘privilege’.

Im fed up with seeing lies posted online about the supposed endless connections and privileges.

Here is the truth:

1. no disruption - that’s the biggest difference
2. smaller class sizes
3. parents who care and will ask at the end of the day “have you done your homework?”
4. sports, arts, drama, music
5. better work experience connections

And that’s it. Nothing else.

There are no ‘jobs for the boys’ these days. Graduate recruiters ask for clean sheet applications. There are no bus loads of ‘many’ kids going in year 7 to to notch unis. What a load of crap.

So stop with the us vs them.

For the record both my kids are autistic which is why they are at private school. But that’s never mentioned is it. If they could have thrived in the state system they would have gone. We tried for 8 years with each at primary. It was mentally a very load.

So don’t imagine we are somehow all privileged.

Just 22% of autistic adults are in full time work.

If I could wave a magic wand, where do you think I would have preferred my children to go? And have more normal lives?

It’s never as black and white as you imagine.

I can see you have very strong opinions about this topic. As I said in my original post outreach is available to both state and private, I never claimed otherwise. I never mentioned privilege at all, that is a HUGE assumption on your part. I think there are many issues with state schools just as there are with private schools. I do not believe one is superior to the other, they are different. All children have different needs. In my view, when kids struggle at a state schools, it is a reflection of the school, not the child. I think it is absolutely wrong of you to say that parents in state schools care less than those of private school children. I agree with 1 and 2 of your points. 3, 4 and 5 - it very much depends on the school, not it's private/state status. As you say, it's not quite so black and white.

I never said there aren’t parents in state school who don’t ask “have you done your homework?”

That was me for from year 2 to year 6 with both my kids at state school. The difference is there are ‘many’ ie, the majority of parents at private school will ask this. At state school it was probably also the majority to be fair but there were perhaps 15% who didn’t care and made life very difficult for the rest of us. At private school those pupils can be expelled. That’s another difference that feeds into number 1.

Youve changed your wording since you’ve been shown up as writing deliberately misleading information to create division and drama.

So yes I do have strong opinions. If someone was saying something untrue about you and making stuff up, wouldn’t you want to defend yourself? And your kids?

Don’t make stuff up, then people will leave you alone.

Youre like a politician, unable to apologise, unable to take accountability for saying something untrue and then worming your war around with changing what you ‘meant’.

I understand no one wants to climb down. It’s humiliating. But it doesn’t have to be. Anyway, forgiveness offered. No doubt you’ll throw it back in my face. I’m not perfect myself. I make many mistakes. Have a good day. And please don’t write about stuff you don’t truly know of. It’s upsetting and damaging.

Oh wow! Great thinking on your parents part. The proof really was in the pudding with those great results. I am researching it now.

Honestly have had enough of this MN state vs grammar vs private BS. It's so depressing and dividing and yes, sometimes full of snobbery. It shows everything that's wrong with this country and the system...

I think it contributes largely to the divisions.

@iamsoshocked it’s interesting what you say about performing giving confidence and I came on to say exactly what @Welshwabbitposted. It’s very normal in Wales to perform from meithrin (nursery, age 3) in school assemblies and Eisteddfods and from Derbyn (reception) at county level and beyond. I don’t recognise any of what you say about mumbled performances, it’s part of the culture in Welsh schools to perform to others.

@Xtraincome in Welsh comprehensives it’s very normal to take some exams in year 10. Ds got 3 in year 10 and 9 more in year 11 along with additional maths. Private schools in Wales don’t seem to do this, I’m not sure why. They also seem to use English exam boards rather than WJEC.

The main difference I've noticed is that all my private school friends or dcs friends who go to private school all have excellent conversational skills. They speak well and have good vocabulary.
They converse about everything. If they don't know what you're talking about, they'll be interested and ask you questions to learn more.
It's amazing and that obviously impacts on how they come across.
Apart from that, state school kids are just as talented, can get the same results at school (usually with more support or a strong personal work ethic) and can have great careers.

@gaininginsight I completely disagree. Not talking about the huge disparity in educational standards being offered to British children doesn't make it go away.

Whilst there is quite a spectrum of 'private schools', I think the benefits are not reaped solely by smaller classes, extracurriculars, tutors and MFLs. It's more to do with the parents coming from a similar angle, less classroom disruption, and a general ethos/expectation of being driven and wanting to do well, ie PLU.
There was a channel 4 documentary where a few pupils from a failing comp in Derby swapped with pupils in a private school. All the pupils were shocked; the private ones said they'd never do as well in the comp as there was so much disruption due to bad behaviour and the general 'air' was not conducive to working hard, and the comp pupils said they would do so much better if they were in the private school because everyone there was polite and wanted to work really hard.

Here it is in full

Mine did a language in year 9, privately. It was a good move as they're going into year 10 having learnt that working consistently throughout reaps reward when it comes to revision time. That it was worth doing something scary. How capable they are. Lots of other note taking, revision skills.
It only came about because they wanted to drop that language and at the point they were at it was worth giving it a go for the experience.

What I will say is they sat it with only the expectation from us that they'd give it their best shot. We had no expectations about grades and I'm sure if they'd slogged away another year or two they'd have achieved higher. If they needed 7-9 we probably wouldn't have taken the gamble of doing it at 14 when more emotional maturity would probably make a big difference.

They got a grade they're really happy with, but the main thing is that they're happy as it's their achievement, not ours. We're very pleasantly surprised as it was above our expectations.

I don't believe in pushing kids. I was pretty burnt out by the start of my A levels and so I wanted my kids to do their exams - they're just hoops to jump after all, in the most gentle and efficient way possible, leaving lots of time for them to enjoy being the age they are.

@Xtraincome
I went to a state school and they really pushed us to do GCSEs early. I took a 3 gcses including a language in year 9, a handful including English language and maths in year 10 and the rest in year 11. I also took AS English language and lit and critical thinking in year 11. I still don't understand why they made us do that but it worked out ok in the end. At the time it felt like a real achievement and gave me a lot of confidence. I liked that the exams were more spaced out which I think is the main advantage of doing it that way.

That's incredible. Never heard of state schools offering this. Maybe I need to look into it more locally. Thank you 😊

Or move to Wales where taking some GCSEs in year 10 is very common

No pun intended but this thread has been a real school day for me. I actually feel super positive about what I'm reading here! To the point where I shared it with DH to read at work.

We are in an area with good state schools and no decent private schools nearby. We could probably have afforded private school but don’t because of this.
I supplement with lots of extra curricular sport and pay for music lessons. Possibly a tutor in the future if I feel it’s necessary. Run around like a loon in the evenings which I suppose you don’t have to do at private schools but at least I get to be involved and see them flourish more.
One of the main benefits of good state schools if growing up in a community. As someone who’s was moved around from pillar to post and and sent to a mixture of private schools and state I feel I am giving my kids a good sense of grounding having friends in their local community.

@Xtraincome It was an academy in North Somerset. It had been a failing school but new management tried to turn it around (and I would argue succeeded). They offered latin after school (following the Cambridge Latin curriculum), there was a debating club etc. There wasn't much offered for sport or music but that's the kind of thing you can supplement outside. I think taking exams early takes pressure off kids, as they have a chance to resit if necessary. They also get to study more subjects. In theory this approach works well for those who struggle academically and those who need to be stretched. This is why I hate the public/private debate. There are so good and bad schools of both kinds. Don't get me wrong there was still a lot of things wrong with the school I went to, but I left with very good exam results so can't really complain.

Yes, I took Welsh GCSE a year early. It was quite common at my school in the 90s although have no idea what it's like now!

This is giving me more hope for my eldest! We definitely need more choice locally. I have started looking beyond the school reviews to see what they offer in addition to the standard stuff.