Splitting finances on maternity leave

[ana32]

Partner & I are struggling to agree on how to split our finances whilst I'm on maternity leave and interested to see how others would. Would like to have a large chunk of debt paid off by the time my pay drops to zero.

Background:

Been with DP for 18 months, not married. I'm 4 months pregnant. DP has a child from a previous relationship. DP has bought a home through a shared ownership scheme, I moved in with him. I earn 26k p.a. DP earns 45k p.a.

I'm employed but will not be eligible for SMP due to dates, should be eligible for MA which will amount to around £740 a month. I currently pay towards the rent & living costs (but not mortgage) in proportion to what I earn, works out at around 40/60 split. I have little outgoings, £50 debt repayment, £30 phone bill but nothing large like car insurance or finance.

DP has around 21k in credit card debt, but under control, and pays towards this each month. He also pays child maintenance in the region of £350 a month. Also has a car on finance, large commuting costs due to fuel. He is also a guarantor for his exes rented flat.

Neither of us have savings.

DP is proposing that we use the MA I will receive, to pay off a chunk of the credit card debts each month. Ideally 7k over the 9 months I'll receive it. Then use his money for day to day spending, rent, mortgage, utilities, food etc. His reasoning is that I will not be contributing to the rent so this is fair?

I think that we need to either pool money, or work out contributions proportional to our earnings so that we are left with a similar amount of money to use as needed. DP disagrees as he is the higher earner, have had to remind him I will be dropping down to a third of my earnings by staying at home.

How would you suggest splitting this so it is fair?

I suggest you separate from this man asap.

Any option of transferring to 0% credit cards and overpay a bit as and when?

I would suggest this also but I am pro life. She should have the baby and ask her mother to look after them and she has to work; and consider leaving this man, he is tbh not cut for a marriage. Why marriage someone asked. Surely you know why

Pooling money never works. There is always the one who earns the bigger part that you have to ask and consider their opinion

Earn your own and keep it as tight you can. Let him pay for everything. This is how always has been.

When I was on mat leave, dh topped up my pension and we had a shared account... that's more what should be spending.

Why would you pay off his debt?? 21k is a hell of a debt.

Agree with the others that you are very vulnerable.

Why would the bigger earner get a bigger opinion? Pooled money means equal. Equal money. Equal votes.

we just have an agreement to discuss big expenditures because it is common sense to make sure we both don’t go out and spend a bunch at the same time. “Big” has varied over the years depending on our financial situation.

@ana32 you'll be surprised at how the little things baby related add up. Coffees with new mum friends, baby groups, little trips to places like farms etc with your new addition.

DO NOT pay off HIS debt which has nothing to do with you. Spend your minimal amount of money you'll receive on you and the baby.

OP won't be back to this thread because she knows that if she refuses to agree to her partners demands that he will not be pleasant
Sadly she'll be back in a few years asking for support on how to extricate herself from a situation she shouldn't have accepted in the first place