I want to tell my mum stop using her finger to wipe her plate!!

[newbornandbreast]

I'm really just venting. My mum has been staying with me a few days.

She is currently eating a sandwich and is using her finger to wipe up crumps/ sauce and licking her finger. It is disgusting. It makes me feel a bit sick. She also makes a LOT of noise while she eats, that she probably can't help. But the finger thing is not necessary.

I know if I say something she'll say she doesn't lol

As in to get the end of the eg cake or to clean it? (I’ve done this btw!!)

Me too 😂

Coleslaw juice came out of her sandwich onto the plate and she used her finger to wipe it up and lick her finger. She does it with all her meals, she will use her finger to wipe the sauce off the plate and lick her finger.

That is just gross. Do it privately if you must, but in front of others is really bad form.

Solemn face and ask her how old she is...

She's your mum. I doubt she realises you're expecting Sunday table manners from her.

She leaves later today so I'll let it go.

It is something she always does, it's just bothering me a lot right now. I've seen her do it in public as well (thinking no one is looking)

@bringincrazyback I'm not expecting 'best' manners but licking your fingers is a bit gross. It might be me

Not wiping your plate with your fingers and licking them like a toddler is just basic manners.

I clearly have bad manners as that is something I would do around family (although would resist if I was somewhere more formal).

Reading this as I have my lunch. I've picked up a stray scrap of egg mayo that fell out of my sandwich on to the plate with my fingers and eaten it, and licked my salty fingers when I finished my crisps.

I'm not having dinner in the Ritz. Neither is your Mum. I washed my hands right before I ate, I assume she did too.

What actually is the problem? Would you leave the stray sandwich filling on the plate and bin it, or go fetch a fork?

For gods sake, is this such a big deal. She clears up the crumbs or whatever with her finger. Did she also hold the sandwich in her fingers too? Wow that must have shocked you to the core.

If this is a big deal, wait until someone starts licking the plate.....

Where do you stand on licking the plate... in the privacy of your own home that is.?
Its not like she's taken a dump on the table ffs

What you do at home with your DD is not what you would do out for a posh meal. I might well do things like finish off crumbs with my finger (you would hardly eat any of a croissant if you didn't pick up the crumbs), get the last of the gravy with my knife and chew that tempting chicken bone in front of my DD. I probably wouldn't have when she was a child so she didn't pick up bad habits, but we're all grown ups now. Did you have posh friends over at the time? I assume your plates are clean? I wouldn't eat crumbs off the work surface.

It’s not like she’s full on fisting a Sunday roast. She’s collecting cake crumbs with her finger. I wouldn’t do it in a restaurant or if I had guests round. I’d do it in front of my mum though

Your poor mum.

Can't even enjoy a meal without her daughter making a snide thread about her online :(

She's hardly out for a fancy dinner, she's comfortable around you and relaxed.

I’d do that at home, and/or in front of direct family. I wouldn’t do it if I went out or was eating with people that were not close family though.

I worked with a woman who would do it at our shared lunch table. Baked bean sauce was her fave. All our lunch meet-up colleagues hated sitting with her.

One day I could stand it no more, so I just quietly reached across, gently touched the back of her hand and said “Please, stop doing that Karen.”
That solved it. She never did it again.

Tell your mother straight not to do it!

Licking the plate saves on the washing up!

I do jest, before someone tells me that's unhygienic.

I dare you to try that in our office. Chances are you would be covered in that bean sauce whilst everyone else laughed

That's basic manners, as are all manners tbh. Would make me feel sick op.

@Suimai "full on fisting a Sunday roast" - that's made my day 😆

Sounds like you’re finding her annoying generally and that’s why the food thing grates.

As long as she’s not doing it in public then let it go. Stop watching her so closely as she eats if it bothers you so much.

DM’s table manners have gone on a steep slope downhill in recent years but at 90 I’ve come to terms with the fact that she’s allowed to let loose a little and enjoy her meals as she sees fit. I did draw a line though at her drinking the last of her soup directly from the bowl Winnie The Pooh style whilst out at a restaurant..