Page 18 | What do you make of this email response

Thalia31 · 03/09/2024 19:15

Aydel · 02/09/2024 18:28

I loathe with a passion emails that start with “I hope you are well.” But I wouldn’t send a snarky reply, although I might have a quiet word.

Someone hoping you are well upsets you? You sound utterly pathetic.

Another2Cats · 03/09/2024 19:28

BellaBobbins · 03/09/2024 18:22

Very rude.

I don't write generic fluff in emails, but it doesn't bother me if I'm sent a fluffy email.

I was taught to type at school, and waffle in letters was standard....I look forward to receiving your swift response... The content of your letter has been noted blah blah.

Times have changed, but manners will never be old fashioned.

But the difference is that those polite comments have some meaning.

"I look forward to receiving your swift response..."

Is a polite way of saying, look, this is urgent so get your finger out and do something about it.

"The content of your letter has been noted"

Is a polite way of saying, OMG that was just such a load of rubbish that you wrote to me but rather than wasting my time replying in detail I'm just acknowledging the letter as a matter of courtesy.

The whole "I hope you are well" thing is just annoying.

worriedaboutthefuturenow · 03/09/2024 19:33

Yikitty · 02/09/2024 18:20

Email sent by newish member of staff to senior staff member - 4 others cc’d in

Reasonable run of the mill email - enquiring about confirming a date. Email first line is “I hope you are well”

response:

”You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me unless you know something I don’t. Yes”

that's very rude. Should have replied with,

' got it, no pleasantries, Thanks !'

Even if you don't like the use of 'hope you are well' there is really no need to be rude and copy others. That is very demeaning behaviour and does not belong in the workplace.

Another2Cats · 03/09/2024 19:36

Everintroverte · 03/09/2024 16:09

I think the response is incredibly rude, so I would have to be rude back in a very passive aggressive way.

I would definitely respond with 'duly noted' as someone else suggested and would forever more email this person starting just with their name, no hello or dear.

@Everintroverte

"...and would forever more email this person starting just with their name, no hello or dear."

That sounds great to me.

However, the way you worded this comment makes it sound as though you genuinely think that is being passive aggressive.

It really isn't.

Also, you will note that I haven't started this comment by saying something like "Dear Everintroverte" or hoping that you are well even though my comment is specifically replying to you directly.

Do you feel that I am being passive aggressive by doing that?

croydon15 · 03/09/2024 19:57

Rude and totally unnecessary.

CountessWindyBottom · 03/09/2024 19:58

Whoever wrote that response is an absolute dick of the highest order. It’s rude, belittling and unpleasant and makes THEM look like an idiot.

Was it responded to?

LongTimeReading · 03/09/2024 20:30

CountessWindyBottom · 03/09/2024 19:58

Whoever wrote that response is an absolute dick of the highest order. It’s rude, belittling and unpleasant and makes THEM look like an idiot.

Was it responded to?

I'm still on the edge of my seat wondering who sent the email to who - it's been asked by PPs, but wouldn't you know it, the OP appears to have done one.

Reading the original message, it's impossible to say who sent the "hope you are well" and who replied to it.

PeepDeBeaul · 03/09/2024 20:56

You hit their pet hate right on the sore spot.

unprofessional response, should have been worded way better...but I hate that "hope you are well" thing too.

just get to the point...I'm busy asf, I don't have time for pointless pleasantry.

Also consider your audience. I was asked to email the class reps to blag something for my kids class...i refused. They are mums (so am I)...but i deal with Engineers all day everyday. My email would have read "Hi all. Year 5 are in need of x, can you ask your classes if they can lend us one please for x assembly?". The email my fellow mum wrote started with "hope you are well" and ended with " your help is greatly appreciated". I knew I wouldn't have put enough "feeling" into an email for mums!

Buffs · 03/09/2024 21:39

Aydel · Yesterday 18:28
I loathe with a passion emails that start with “I hope you are well.” But I wouldn’t send a snarky reply, although I might have a quiet word.
Genuine question, what do you hate about it?

Are there any niceties / pleasantries you do like?

Are you quite senior?
Quote

I have cancer, it drives me mad when people make throw away pleasantries about the state of my health.

aurynne · 03/09/2024 21:44

I think a lot of people are showing why women are the ones who always meekly give in and end up as mugs.

The rude email was meant to intimidate someone into changing something that is none of the emailer's business. If the OP changes her email style as a result, she is sending the message that being rude and intimidating gets positive results. So she is inviting future rudeness not only from the senior colleague, but from any other person included in this email who picks up the actual meaning of this interaction.

I couldn't give less of a fuck that a harmless nicety in an email makes another colleague feel triggered. That is THEIR business to deal with. Again, I strongly recommend the OP to forward the interaction to manager and HR person and continue using whichever niceties you want in your emails, as long as it is within company rules. This way you send the message that "I do not respond to rudeness, neither do I become rude myself in the process, those are your issues not mine", which is the one you really want to send if you want to be respected in a mixed gender workplace. Otherwise, they will eat you alive.

Goldenbear · 03/09/2024 22:48

pineapplesundae · 03/09/2024 19:11

It’s not welcomed by everyone. I would be annoyed by the routine ‘hope you are well’ message in the workplace to. Receiver is frustrated by this. Knock it off.

Yes but so what? Others don’t care so why do people have to cowtow to those that do? I am honestly baffled by why people get so het up about the minutiae.

Overnightoats1 · 03/09/2024 23:06

I once had a more senior colleague snap at me that I didn't need to reply "thank you " to an answer he had given me. I was pretty junior at the time and I was mortified but I shouldn't have been .. It doesn't matter how fast paced an environment you are in... he was rude , being polite is always okay... someone may think it but it's never okay to call someone out for being polite.

steakpieandchips · 03/09/2024 23:45

I write this all the time and it's to lighten the tone because otherwise emails can be so blunt and dry. Much like the recipient of OPs email! They sound blunt and dry. Bet they're fun to be around!

Jobs4kids · 04/09/2024 07:43

I often write similar openings as a polite way of starting off an email while knowing full well ìt means f all! My personal pet hate when receiving an email is "I'm reaching out to you to ask....." or "thank you for reaching out" but I would never be so rude to actually berate the person for it. The person is a dick and very rude.

Meltdown247 · 04/09/2024 07:43

It’s almost as bad as starting a post on MN and never coming back to update it or comment on the responses!

Jobs4kids · 04/09/2024 07:48

Overnightoats1 · 03/09/2024 23:06

I once had a more senior colleague snap at me that I didn't need to reply "thank you " to an answer he had given me. I was pretty junior at the time and I was mortified but I shouldn't have been .. It doesn't matter how fast paced an environment you are in... he was rude , being polite is always okay... someone may think it but it's never okay to call someone out for being polite.

🤣 while it's nice to be thanked, it can clog up the already full in box! Sometimes I'll reply "you're welcome", other times I just privately acknowledge and delete as replying wastes precious time!

HotCrossBunplease · 04/09/2024 07:58

Jobs4kids · 04/09/2024 07:48

🤣 while it's nice to be thanked, it can clog up the already full in box! Sometimes I'll reply "you're welcome", other times I just privately acknowledge and delete as replying wastes precious time!

Show quote history

I have noticed that on our version of Outlook at work there is now the option to click a thumbs-up “Like” button top right of a received email, which is how I thank people when they send me a Teams message. However my colleague and I tried it to see what the recipient saw when their email had been “liked” and we were bemused as nothing seemed to happen…until about 5 minutes later I received an email saying “Xx has liked your message”. …🤦‍♀️

So do not use that unless you REALLY want to annoy people!

FeeBee73 · 04/09/2024 08:18

Burntout101 · 02/09/2024 18:36

I think that's pretty hilarious. I can imagine a couple of the autistic students I teach saying something like that 😂 I love their honesty

This was my first thought, that they were on the spectrum. I was picturing Sheldon from BBT muttering about them getting to the point of the email.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 04/09/2024 08:26

Why do I do this? It is a way of not jumping into a request and it is breaking the conversational ice, albeit virtually. Some of the other opening statements I use are just to show that I am not just firing over an edict, or a demand, but using speech conventions to broach a subject, particularly with those I only correspond with rarely. I do respond with brief answers, send brief notes, but that's to those that know me well and with whom the working relationship is well developed. If I had a response like the one mentioned, I'd assume that the person cared little for others and would then ensure my approach was avoidance, if at all possible, as having worked with someone who did respond in this way, she was toxic in the workplace. I would not tread in the same mud again! Being polite costs little and the time it took to say yes, was then multiplied with the rude reply. Just my opinion and being nice costs little and brings big rewards.

FeeBee73 · 04/09/2024 08:41

I am not sure if it is anything to worry about. I have two autistic children who get straight to the point on phonecalls and end them with, "Okay bye," or just hang up when the purpose has been fulfilled.
It doesn't mean they are rude or inconsiderate but I guess this person is at work and they just want to get to work swiftly.
If you see a familiar face on the street you ask the standard question that you don't want a real answer to - 'Hi, how are you?" The response is always, "Yes, I am well," irrespective of your actual feelings. It is etiquette and just what we do. Unfortunately, the email responder has not left a favourable first impression with (what I suspect is) their sense of humour.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 04/09/2024 08:51

I would never send an email like that, but I totally agree with the sentiment 🙈

I can't stand getting messages and emails that are half filled with waffle and fake social niceties - let's be honest, nobody actually cares whether you're well and you can't exactly reply with "no actually, I feel like shit Sandra and spent my commute crying into my coffee".

And yes, I'm autistic 😂

PeepDeBeaul · 04/09/2024 08:59

sunsetsandboardwalks · 04/09/2024 08:51

I would never send an email like that, but I totally agree with the sentiment 🙈

I can't stand getting messages and emails that are half filled with waffle and fake social niceties - let's be honest, nobody actually cares whether you're well and you can't exactly reply with "no actually, I feel like shit Sandra and spent my commute crying into my coffee".

And yes, I'm autistic 😂

omg, I should reply with this so much more often. I giggled when i read it.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 04/09/2024 09:01

Glad it cheered you up @PeepDeBeaul

Everintroverte · 04/09/2024 09:44

Another2Cats · 03/09/2024 19:36

@Everintroverte

"...and would forever more email this person starting just with their name, no hello or dear."

That sounds great to me.

However, the way you worded this comment makes it sound as though you genuinely think that is being passive aggressive.

It really isn't.

Also, you will note that I haven't started this comment by saying something like "Dear Everintroverte" or hoping that you are well even though my comment is specifically replying to you directly.

Do you feel that I am being passive aggressive by doing that?

Show quote history

I always think that emails that start just with your name sound very abrupt and rude. It's one of my pet hates.

I think the etiquette is different on an anonymous chat forum. Whilst I would expect or hope people would be polite and respectful, I wouldn't expect anyone to message me with a professional email tone.

benid · 04/09/2024 10:22

BellaBobbins · 03/09/2024 18:22

Very rude.

I don't write generic fluff in emails, but it doesn't bother me if I'm sent a fluffy email.

I was taught to type at school, and waffle in letters was standard....I look forward to receiving your swift response... The content of your letter has been noted blah blah.

Times have changed, but manners will never be old fashioned.

I was always taught add waffle at the start and end too!

100 years ago I passed my tax exam with exactly the pass mark and I know for certain that a vital half-mark that tipped me over to the pass was received for putting greeting/signoff on the dummy client letter I was being asked to write