What do you make of this email response

[Yikitty]

Email sent by newish member of staff to senior staff member - 4 others cc’d in

Reasonable run of the mill email - enquiring about confirming a date. Email first line is “I hope you are well”

response:

”You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me unless you know something I don’t. Yes”

I mean, when I worked in customer service I would just say hello. It even saves time rather than saying "hello how are you", which is useful when it's busy!

this!
I cannot believe that a manager has admitted to marking performance based on how annoying they personally find the employee, even worse when it has financial repercussions.
You shouldn't be managing the office milk rota with ethics and professionalism like that.

When I write "hope you are well" I do actually mean it. I'd say it in an email to e.g. a client if I hadn't spoken to them in a while, and I genuinely liked them.

Might stop now!

I'm surprised by how many people are infuriated by a basic pleasantry. I can understand thinking it's unnecessary, but to be angered by it seems a bit OTT.

The reply that was sent was incredibly rude. In my company (professional services) that would practically be career suicide.

I don't waste words in emails. This is for two key reasons: firstly I've learned through experience that the fewer words used, the smaller the possibility of their being in any way misconstrued. And secondly, linguistic studies have proven that women use language differently from men with more fillers, more pleasantries and more apologies.

I'm sick of higher standards of politeness being expected from women where men get a free pass. I've therefore made a concerted effort to use language differently and have noticed female colleagues doing likewise. Interestingly this was met with some resistance before it seemed to become more standardised practice. 'Find attached' is now a regularly-used phrase.

I'm therefore not guilty of the 'hope you are well' introduction, unless I'm writing to someone I'm friendly with and actually care (in which case they will know). Equally, who has time to waste on rebuking a colleague for a simple pleasantry? Asking me how I am is hardly gratuitous rudeness - even when I know fine well that they really don't give a shit - it's a mere pleasantry that doesn't require a response. Who cares?

I wonder how certain Mumsnetters would fare living in the US, where strangers performing superficial transactions routinely wish you a nice day. Doubtless they'd respond with the hope that they're be struck down by fleas and pestilence.

It's a funny old site at times.

Hahahahaha

though it is rude are you asking “I hope you are well?” Or stating “I hope you are well.” The latter would be better if someone kept asking me it would get on my tits too but I wouldn’t respond like that. Ignore the email and just too the point emails with no niceties is what it is some folk are just arseholes

@SerafinasGoose a separate topic but you are dead right about the gender differences in this area. And the challenge is that women get perceived negatively for adopting a more direct 'male' style. Well done you for deliberately normalising it for the women in your workplace. Wish I had more colleagues like you!

This type of attitude is what creates toxicity in teams.

To be honest, 'I hope you are well' is not an appropriate opening sentence In an email to another member of staff, IMO and it would jar with me too. However, it was very rude to reply like that, especially as the person sending the email was clearly trying to be polite

If someone barged up to me in the office and barked ' where is my report or whatever they wanted without bothering with social niceties I would think them a rude, inconsiderate fuckwit. Male or female. Senior or greasy pole climbing wannabe. It doesn't make you look more senior or professional or v busy and important. Imo.

Im v senior at a corporation- fuck knows how, what with my polite openers on emails, kind regards and best wishes to your family etc.

No one has ever been rude back.

I would ignore any rudeness and probably call them to see if they had been hacked, or just a keyboard warrior.

If you really dont like social interaction or want to seem really important just put in the subject ' send x report by 4pm today (EOM) end of message. If you are feeling particularly offensive, add ' no need to reply - just send report'

And secondly, linguistic studies have proven that women use language differently from men with more fillers, more pleasantries and more apologies.

My emails are short and to the point. I am polite and only enquire after someone's health if it is someone I know and like.

I must admit that the number of professionally offended posters on this thread is disappointing.

I work with some quite junior staff who start emails with that “I hope you are well.”

It’s ridiculous and makes me cringe for them but I’d never publicly reprimand them.

May I ask why?

It wastes your time and the recipient's.

Work emails don't need any "niceties" to pad them out. Why can't they simply address the point or task in hand?

Why would you do that?

I much preferred those emails that just had the name. Emails aren't letters. They were initially used for quick questions and answers. Quick and to the point has been ruined by the "pretend to be kind" generation.

But there is an in-between your two examples.

For example, please may you send me the X report by 4pm. No need to respond unless there is likely to be an issue meeting this deadline. Thanks.

Still polite, still to the point.

Oooooh 🔥

That is too long and too.many words:) ! A sentance on the subject line would do. (Eom) at the end means you don't have to open the email as there isn't one to read.

The onset of Slack and internal messaging systems means long internal emails are dying a death anyway.

I don't think the reply was intended to be rude or cutting, I think the reference to 'unless you know something [about my health] that I don't know' was an attempt to lighten the tone while still getting the message across.

I would find the regular, meaningless, inquiry into my health to be irritating too. I would potentially be tempted to reply in a lot of detail though.

You would cringe? Why? It’s a perfectly normal way to start an email. You know perfectly well they don’t want a potted version of your medical history - just reply to the bloody email and don’t be an arse about it.

😂 Quite the reverse! Nothing at all. As in:

John

Let's look at this again next week.

Jane

I find the rude response uncalled for. I would brush it aside (but would stew privately about it for a while). Someone always has to nitpick in the workplace. They probably have nothing better to do.

This is interesting, because the youngest members of any organisation today would see email as a slow form of communication, almost like what letters once were to email. Succinct communication is now emojis etc. Maybe there's a connection between that and them writing emails in a more 'long form' style.

That was what I took from it too as it happens. It may be that they just have a very dry sense of humour (not to say that it wasn't a misjudged response, the newish employee isn't to know that).

I'm in the "concise" camp also, I'm opps/support staff, female, and am very blunt with senior colleagues, I also have a policy of "don't spend billable time sending me a thankyou email. They drive me insane".

I don't take offence if someone asks if I'm well, but once had a quiet chat with a much younger colleague to say "you genuinely don't need to open with "I hope you are well" every time on every channel, let's work from the assumption that I am yeah?".

They were actually very relieved, and our working relationship got a lot better after that because they didn't feel the need to be so "formal & formulaic" so we got into a jokey style of opening emails instead which was far better for relationship building. Might not be the cade for everyone but it works for me.

I've also had to ressure a junior colleague that my email sign of of:

Best,
B

Wasn't a hostile act and I wasn't annoyed with her, it's just how I sign off emails...

I think that might be right Whatnext. It's olde worlde communication to them. My young adult dc ridicule my texting style but still come to me when they have an important email to craft.