What do you make of this email response

[Yikitty]

Email sent by newish member of staff to senior staff member - 4 others cc’d in

Reasonable run of the mill email - enquiring about confirming a date. Email first line is “I hope you are well”

response:

”You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me unless you know something I don’t. Yes”

A quiet word because someone dropped a standard, albeit cliched pleasantry into an email?

Is this a battle worth choosing?

Sorry if I am being thick but I cant work out if the reply was from the new member of staff or the senior manager.

Either way staggeringly rude, but if it was the new person who said it then a quiet word along the lines of "Its not a good idea to be rude to your bosses bosses boss.....word to the wise. You may not like it but its their standard email opening so come to peace with it". If it was a senior staff member then it depends on your level if you can deal with it or bat it upwards.

If you are new member of staff and got that reply, I would raise it with your line manager.

Sorry if I am being thick but I cant work out if the reply was from the new member of staff or the senior manager.

Either way staggeringly rude, but if it was the new person who said it then a quiet word along the lines of "Its not a good idea to be rude to your bosses bosses boss.....word to the wise. You may not like it but its their standard email opening so come to peace with it". If it was a senior staff member then it depends on your level if you can deal with it or bat it upwards.

If you are new member of staff and got that reply, I would raise it with your line manager.

It is showing contempt to ask someone a question to which only one answer, "I'm alright, thanks", is the permitted answer.

1. You waste their time when you could have been talking about useful things.
2. You force that person to spend mind-resources on listening to the question, interpreting your words, deciding whether they are allowed to give a truthful answer, deciding whether they trust you with the truthful answer (because it contains health information), deciding whether they are comfortable lying, and then formulating a response that somehow dodges lying whilst also not being the truth about their health. Colleagues and friends have described me as "rabbit in the headlights" when faced with this kind of question, even though I can talk fluently about the technical aspects of my work and about my hobbies.
3. You display a show of power over them by compelling them, for no functional reason, to follow a socially-approved script.

When I said "noisewords" and using "mind-resources", this is what I meant.

I have had a rough day today and am struggling with word-finding.

same here for the same reason but I'd probably mention it to their line manager if I wasn't the line manager and point out the "seeing in preview" thing but I wouldn't snark.

This is what you take into account on EOY reviews?

Not performance?
Not whats been delivered?
Not success against objectives?

Wow.

Remember that episode of will and grace with Madonna. When she was at pains to let people know she managed two people and said something like

"When they're late, I just look at my watch, then I look at them, and they just GET IT"

That's who you remind me of.

Junior team member should use a more succinct email style when dealing with that senior, and consider adapting their email style as a whole if the company culture lends to a more abrupt email style.

Impossible to say if the senior is joking or being an arse from this exchange but I’d take that as actionable feedback.

But then HOW will they know who's in charge???

How incredibly pompous.

So rude!

You are massively overthinking this.

You can dislike it, but to suggest that the recipient is treating you with contempt by offering a routine pleasantry (which in most cases doesn't even require a response) is beyond silly. It would be equally possible for me to make the argument that by going straight in with your business ask you are treating the recipient like a machine and that this is rude. But I won't - because I accept we all have different working and communication styles.

Middle managers getting triggered by polite statements in emails is why I stay registered with mumsnet.

ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK!

my god this thread is mind blowing.

I genuinely pity the generation starting their working life with all of these power mad but oh so fragile and easy to trigger senior managers about.

I'd take this as the sign of a toxic culture, and leave

"You asked me how my day was once but I don't think you truly meant it so I've marked you down on your performance review, you won't be getting a bonus and do take this as feedback"

Fuck. Me.

Again, I'm so pleased my email messages don't have to be parsed anymore.

However, received wisdom implies that senior manager will easily get away with a response like this, no matter what their retort makes their (newish staff member) recipient feel, whereas new staff junior member will certainly not, and might be compelled, for no functional reason, even to have to apologise for their unwitting and unintended inconvenience to Mr Big Bollocks just for not 'getting' their email style, preferences, conditions or style by telepathy. I'm known for being blunt in the workplace, but would never squash someone so casually.

I’d make of it that the sender is a grade a cunt and has no respect for you.

I hope you’re returning the sentiment.

If I received an email like that then all future emails from me to them would be sent with only my name as a sign off. No regards either "kind" or otherwise.

The sender of the rude email is an idiot if they don't realise it's a rhetorical question that doesn't need an answer!

Havel documented the pervasive little lies, lies that everyone knew to be lies, of late Communism. [...] Being made to repeat an obvious lie makes it clear that you’re powerless;

https://www.niskanencenter.org/authoritarianism-post-truth-politics/

In a situation where I am not allowed to say "actually, I'm on day two of a migraine and my sciatica kept me awake half last night", the "how are you?" question is a powerplay.

Incredibly rude

But if it's someone they email multiple times a day, it probably is a bit excessive to keep asking. I reserve it for people I only contact once a week or so

It was a statement, not a question.

Also, given the trajectory you're going on, you ok?

I've never managed anyone in my life and never will. I'm disabled and what I'm objecting to here is the ridiculous accommodations I have to make for neurotypical people.

I would definitely say it in every email now . No need for them to be so hostile

I would argue that any insincere statement is anything but polite. Wasting another person's time and mind-resources on noisewords shows them contempt.

Honestly @MaidOfAle have a word with yourself.

Contempt? How many of your delicate 'mind resources' does this take up for fucks sake.

I'm too old but the 'everyone must remember to talk to me in exactly the way I want otherwise they are contemptuous' makes me very weary.