I'm absolutely fucking fuming with an aunt of mine

[Mynameisspiral]

I used to like her but she has completely avoided my mother for about two years. She doesn't visit my mother, never texts or calls or sends cards. I thought they got on well but there's been nothing more but silence from her for a few years from her.

My mother is in her early 70s and I see stuff that's not quite right with her any more and I think she has dementia but I don't have a diagnosis. All of this is my suspicions so far. My mother works is so small now and her siblings, she comes from a large family - they are all useless. None of them call or visit. Any time I suggest for my mother to visit or call - I just get aggro. I think it would benifit my mother to do some sort of socialising but she's not doing anything.

I'm friends with my aunty on Facebook but I am so utterly disgusted with her. There has been nothing more but silence from her for two years - not even a happy birthday message to my mother.

I am thinking of blocking her. She's nothing more but a nosy cow and I bet that's why she befriended me on Facebook in the first place.

Why did your mum lie to her sister about her sister’s dead child? Is this just another thing in a long line of toxic behaviour? Your aunt is not the one in the wrong here.

What a very strange thread!

Was OP very very drunk to have drip fed so spectacularly?

And you're surprised the Aunt doesn't reach out? Why on earth would she want to? And why is all your angst focused on this on Aunt, rather than the entire family, and your mother's poor behaviour?
If you think she has dementia, push for a diagnosis.

So your saying the whole family is wrong and your mothers right 🤷‍♀️

I think in view of the information you’ve posted you shouldn’t expect any family support. I would get yourself off FB and concentrate that energy on helping your mother to get a diagnosis. Anything else is pointless and won’t benefit your mum.

.... she comes from a large family - they are all useless. None of them call or visit. Any time I suggest for my mother to visit or call - I just get aggro.

So why the focus on this one particular aunt and not all of the many other siblings?

I am thinking of blocking her. She's nothing more but a nosy cow and I bet that's why she befriended me on Facebook in the first place.

Are the other less blameworthy siblings male?

Yeah, the way the 'whopper of a lie' info was parcelled out and the language just makes it seem like OP loves drama and makes her other points spurious.

Why are you "fucking fuming" with your aunt and not your mother?

My aunt doesn't know my mother was lying to her. My mother sent her a 'thinking of you' card at time of anniversary saying she will get a mass said but my mother never had any intention of ever doing that and she never got a massive said. It's only me that knows my mother lies about that.

That's not a "whopper of a lie". You're drama hungry.

There seems to be a good reason your aunt wants nothing to do with her. It's likely a long line of toxic behavior from your mum. It's not your business/concern.

Oh, I remember that thread about the mass. You were cross with your mum about that one.

Oh ffs its this again

Does your mum contact her? Contact is a two way street

My aunt doesn't know my mother was lying to her

I’d predict your aunt does. It’s probably not the first and your aunt has disengaged. So be it. She’s not obliged either way.

Maybe your aunt has dementia?

Oh is there a history?

Pah.
I blocked both my sisters a couple of years ago, for very good reasons.
Maybe your aunt and other relations have done the same, also with very good reasons.

Can you link it?
I've AS the OP and it isn't coming up.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/4947998-why-would-my-aging-mother-lie-about-this-do-all-old-people-like?page=1

I remember this too. Back again.

Op you seem disproportionately angry in all your threads, this cant be good for you.

My mum is always complaining my aunt is the same... but expects the contact to come from aunt first and doesn't instigate. I suspect my aunt is fed up of doing it all

Golly - that thread is - revealing.

The OP seems to have gone from being outraged with her mother for lying to her aunt about having a Mass said for the aunt's dead son .................... to being outraged with the aunt, for not being interested in contacting the mother, now she has dementia.

OP - calm down.

You can't really blame your aunt for being NC with your mother now, after the Mass debacle, can you?
As practicing Catholics, lying about such a thing is a big deal. I get that. But your aunt found her son dead many years ago, and your mother promised to have Mass said for him, and she lied about it, because she had never intended to ask the Priest anyway.

So your aunt is angry. And that is understandable.

Although a bit of Christian forgiveness would not go amiss in these circumstances, for all the parties concerned

Did you post about your mum sending a card but not getting the mass? I think I remember reading about it