Oral sex last night was weird (warning tmi!)

[FaithD]

So partner and I had a small disagreement yesterday evening, nothing serious, but enough to be annoyed.

Later, I initiated sex and asked him to go down on me. He did but at the end he did something he had never done before - after I came, he rubbed his beard all over both my thighs, clearly to get rid of 'me'. I was in the afterglow and it wasn't pleasant.

I can't explain it exactly but the move felt kind of aggressive. Am I over reacting?

The relationship is a good and happy one otherwise, but it wasn't nice.

I don't see that as aggressive but I wasn't there and you are entitled to your feelings. Just ask him not to do it again.

I mean, I know I get really wet. But to rub it all over me like that without warning the same night we'd had a fight...I think that's why it felt aggressive.

Maybe he doesn't see it that way.

It sounds disrespectful rather than aggressive. But yes if you didn't like him, ask him about it and ask for him not to do it again. 😞

You need to talk to him. Regardless if it was aggressive or not, it has made you feel uncomfortable and he must know this

It sounds a bit gross to me as if he was punishing you for having the argument or something like that ?
I'd definitely say something to him and not let it happen again as you obviously felt uncomfortable about it

It doesn’t seem aggressive to me but you are entitled to how you feel, just let him know

@the80sweregreat it was and it did feel exactly that, punishing me.

Personally it's not on to do any punishing during sex imo (unless consensually agreed to!). If we have an argument we need to deal with it separately.

Sometimes I don't know why I click on a thread after reading the title😂

Sorry @Starlight1979 😄

To me that seems disrespectful too. Not to mention the razor/rug burn feeling that gives 😬

I have to say I much prefer it when they guy wipes his face after oral, I hate being kissed straight after with it all still 'there' but if that's not usually how you do things and it felt offensive then talk to him

One cuckoo doth not a summer make.

He's done something you didn't like once, so tell him so he knows not to do it again. Neither of you are mind readers so speak.

If he continues to do this, it's a pattern and deliberate. That needs addressing.

Ask him what it was about but don’t assume it was out of spite.

Grim in all respects

I would have thought if he was punishing you he wouldn’t have given oral. What did he do after wiping himself? There could be all kinds of reasons he did it - maybe you were wetter than usual, maybe his beard was a tad longer than usual, maybe he’s seen it elsewhere and tried it, maybe he thought you’d like it (tickly?) …. You won’t know until you ask him/talk to him about it.

I’d hate the stubble rash x I love when men give me oral and really enjoy kissing straight after, maybe I’m unusual haha x

@Newpageturned

why?

Hey love - I didn't expect you to post that on here. Sorry I won't do it again. x

😂

Oh come on. You can't click on a thread with that title and then come over all pearl clutchy. You wanted to read the juicy details.

Was he just...not that into it? Maybe he went down on you because you asked rather than because he actually wanted to and was still feeling upset about the argument so just wasn't into it. And maybe he just wanted to be clean ASAP. I wouldn't read aggression into that unless he has form for being aggressive.

I hate kissing a man with a beard, I can't imagine wanting one to go down on me. I agree though OP, if he's never done it before then it does sound like he did it to get at you.

Tell him how you felt about it.

Next time you go down on him spit it all over him and see how he feels 🤣 (don’t do this)

he might like that 😎