Oral sex last night was weird (warning tmi!)

[FaithD]

So partner and I had a small disagreement yesterday evening, nothing serious, but enough to be annoyed.

Later, I initiated sex and asked him to go down on me. He did but at the end he did something he had never done before - after I came, he rubbed his beard all over both my thighs, clearly to get rid of 'me'. I was in the afterglow and it wasn't pleasant.

I can't explain it exactly but the move felt kind of aggressive. Am I over reacting?

The relationship is a good and happy one otherwise, but it wasn't nice.

I guess you'll have to discuss it with him.

I believe the general term for aggressive, anger-fuelled sex is ‘hate fucking’.

Quite common among jealous/possessive lovers. I find it a turn on up to a point, but it’s very easy for lines to be crossed.

Speak to him and tell him you don’t like it.

That is simply not on and quite off putting to say the least.

Next time he asks for a BJ tell him to F off.

To be fair, there is a sec topic where this should have been posted so the title and thread wouldn’t come up on the general active feed. That way, no one is presented with sex related titles unless they consent to it. The OP posted this in chat so some people who don’t want to read titles like this will have had to read it. Since mumsnet actually has a section separated for this kind of thing, it’s not unreasonable to expect people to use it. I assume lose adults are fine with sex talk, but I still wouldn’t post a thread about it outside of that topic. So I assume that poster opened the thread and commented because they are annoyed this was put in front of them without their consent (which would be fine on another forum but this forum has a sex topic).

Yes.

The sex topic did attract perverts but it is there for a reason.

Not overreating. I've experienced something similar and it was done to make me feel insecure and ashamed.

This was also done after he was irritated at me.

It made me feel so small and uncomfortable and it was the beginning of the end.

I misread your last line and thought you said 'spank him' 🤣🤣

Just say, 'love, don't do that leg wiping thing next time, I was trying to enjoy my 'O' and it was off putting' :)

I mean I don’t know of a hetro man who would hate the fact that you get really wet?

like that’s a super turn on for 99.9% of guys surely?

Exactly this. Bit strange you’ve just jumped straight to asking mumsnet.

Bite him

OP you're completely over reacting. Oral sex either way leaves a "residue" on the giver which needs to be removed before kissing or more sex. If you haven't prepared in advance with tissues or a towel etc then a visit to the bathroom is necessary which ruins the moment. Perhaps he didn't want to ruin the moment by going to the bathroom if there was no towel to hand ?

If this was posted in the sex topic, mostly pervy men would have answered and the OP would get several disgusting PMs. That's why women don't use the sex topic.

Yeah @AsYouWiiiiiiiiiiiiish I might've just thought that was not a great move and jokingly said something.

But it was the combination of the argument and then that move.

I don't like to think he will take things out on me in the bedroom.

@Zebedee999 he has gone to the bathroom once before to clean off.

I reckon I need to have a towel ready next time and then there will be no excuse!

Not the point of this thread but until this moment (never having dated a man with a beard as I don't find them attractive) I have never thought of the oral sex vs beard situation and I now feel a bit queasy.
That is going to be some unpleasant hygene issues buried in the beard. all over the beard. not just like on skin.
eurgh.

He doesn't even have a big beard. It's a small beard that's overgrown currently. I didn't notice how much until that!

Gedoverit · Today 11:57
SkyGrant · Today 11:25
That is simply not on and quite off putting to say the least.

Next time he asks for a BJ tell him to F off.
Bite him

That will teach him with his beard and bad habit

Yeah definitely feels disrespectful, but then I'd guess he didn't want sex/oral and resented obliging.

The only thing you can do is ask him. How come you did that and please don't do it again. If you don't feel into oral or sex then just say no.

Talk to him and say how it made you feel. Equally, have tissues nearby since he has gone to wash his face previously.

But definitely say you were upset. Don't push that feeling down and let it fester.

i think if the argument was enough that you think of it as a possible reason for an odd behaviour and you feel that him wiping his beard on your leg afterwards might have been aggressive, then whats the deal in asking him to go down on you? Is that your dynamic that you just ask for oral sex after an argument when youre not even feeling that friendly towards each other?

I think you'll be fine.

If you're posting about your DP wiping off fanny juice from his face at 10am on a weekday, I think you'll be able to talk to him about it if needed.

Very odd! I wouldn't like that at all.

My husband has a huge beard & does go into our loo after to freshen up & wash his face / beard.
If he tried to wipe himself on my legs I'd be like 'ehhhhh YA ALRIGHT THERE??!!' 🤣

I would say it to him though as someone else said, he might have seen it somewhere & thought he'd tried it out.

I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt before thinking he did it cause he was annoyed at you.

I think you were taking the piss to ask him
to go down on you after an argument. If a bloke had said ‘me and my wife had an argument I initiated sex and after my blow job she spat the cum on me.’ I bet everyone would be telling him to stop disrespecting his wife by using her as a sex object and good for her!!

Oh my days just talk to him?? Noone here can know your personal dynamic with him. It could be taken any which way if you make it. Just talk to him. he went down on you so he can't be that annoyed. Don't get yourself bubbled up till you know x