Dm fretting about winter fuel. Says will freeze

[Summertimesadnessie]

To set the scene, My mother is a widow. She is a complicated woman and we have a complicated relationship, she was very cruel to me as a child and teen, but we’ve somewhat moved passed this on a don’t ask don’t tell, don’t discuss the past basis.

she is saying she will be hit hard by the winter fuel allowance cut. Very hard. She says at winter she sit in the freezing cold as she cannot afford to heat her home. She has no money, she cannot afford it.

except, she does and she can. And I can’t understand why she’s claiming she can’t. She has a large 4/5 bed house, no mortgage. Has single occupancy reduction on council tax and works part time. Her take home after tax is £3,300. Her expenses are £1,700. She drives a £500 a month car. The caveat there is this is the expenses I know about, council tax, health insurance, bills, food etc. She does not gamble nor drink.
But she is very cagey. She will not work through a budget with me or show me her bills. She also has another house, that sadly she’s just left to rot because she won’t do anything with it, so if she did need capital there’s at least 60k there.

I can’t work out if it’s necessity that she needs the winter fuel or if it’s a nice to have that she’s going to miss, because who wouldn’t want extra cash.

any tips on getting the crux of this?

Some members of that generation clearly don't, but don't fall into the trap of assuming all older people are on good pensions.

Its not that great being " older generation". Especially if you spend thousands and thousands on Care for parents and bailing out kids.

But nobody wants to listen to nuance or reality.

Pensioners/ Asylum seekers blah blah b;ah.

Ignore and change the subject. It's a rant about the Labour Government and she and all her friends are going nuts about it. Because they can.

I'm so curious as to what job pays £800 a week net of tax Part Time. Please tell me so I can get a similar position!

So does mum have State Pension, Private Pension and a job, is the combined income = £800 a week?

She has top of the range cars kitted out cars. She had a hard top convertible for a while, then changed to a top of the range saloon, then to a more sporty 3 door but the doors were too wide so now, to a top of the line hatchback.

i think it’s a good thing she still works tbh, something to get out of bed for, a purpose, but she says she can’t afford to stop. Her income is £1500 for df pension, and then £800 for hers and then about £11/1200 a month income from her part time job

she’s half df’s pension about £1500, then her state pension about £800 a month and then her salary which is depending on when you ask her £1000/ £1200 a month.

yeah so about £800 a week

OP you need to do broken record. Decide on a response and just repeat it. Say laughingly "mum! You earn more money than I do and more than most people plus you have a second house! I think you'll be fine."

Grey rock.
She won’t suddenly get a realistic outlook on it. She has found a good ‘reason’ to moan and play the victim.

Dont try and understand why she sees things like this.
Dont try to make her change her mind.

You know she’ll be fine.
Ignore. That’s the best you can do,

Sounds like its a money mindset thing? Shes living with a poor mindset and not spending etc. the fact shes not done the other house up no doubt because she thinks she cant afford it. Cant put the heating on as thats too expensive and shes on a pension. Or alternatively, she just loves moaning “poor me” so shes hoping youll step in 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dont try to get to the crux - if she is living in a 4/5 bed house by herself she has put herself in this position. She is the poster child for why everyone should not have got WFA in the first place.

My parents were of the generation that thought they should 'manage' on their pension however sad and miserly this made their life. They died leaving several hundred thousand. Yes my brother and I and our children inherited it but I so wish they had spent to have perhaps had some pleasure from it.

Just laugh and say the allowance is for those who need it, not you with over £3000om and a huge house.

And a spare house!

This thread kept popping back into my head last night. Your DM is being so ridiculous - there are so many places she can cut back. As someone who works in the NHS, who had to take on a second job when the mortgage rates went up, who wont be able to retire until my 70s and who drives an old car and has not been on holiday for a few years because I cant afford it - I am just left thinking WTF! I think growing up in the 70s there was a sense that all pensioners were automatically poor (my sister has never called herself just a pensioner, she always says poor pensioner). This has obviously impacted your DM. But reality is that people in this generation are the most well off of all, and the only reason they have had so many breaks is the corrupt Tory government trying to hang on to their votes.

Private Eye cover this week.