Ode to my cellar spider

[ArcticDonkey]

Cellar spider
Please do your thing
Promptly
Like NOW

Zaaaaaarrrggghhhh

Whete is the opponent spider at this moment?

The problem with cellar spiders is that they're lazy. They just hang out in a corner waiting for a big beastie to blunder into their area.

I love cellar spiders because they’re lazy - j don’t want them behaving like house spiders - otherwise what’s the point? 🕷️

They are the least problematic spiders in my house. I don't have to worry about seeing them scuttering about in that creepy way all the others do. They don't randomly descend from the ceiling. They can stay.

I'm petrified of them big horrible fuckers that come out this time of year. I let the cellar spiders stay cos they catch the big fuckers. Hoping they do their job and protect me!