Know it all child!

[Pluntolo]

Trying to be patient with my 8 year old DS as I've just had a baby (same Dad - massive gap due to multiple miscarriages) so I know he will be feeling weird but I'm running on minimal sleep so as a result my tolerance levels are on the floor - he is SUCH a know it all it drives me nuts. He has to correct me about absolutely everything. If I say the time is 2.30 he will say no it isn't, it's 2.28. If I'm driving and we are in traffic he will say why are we going so slowly, you should have gone x way instead. If I close my eyes while feeding the baby he will say you're not meant to go to sleep (I'm obviously not asleep). If I say something to him and he asks me to repeat it and I can't remember EXACTLY what I said word for word he has to correct me.

It's driving me demented!! Is it an age thing?!

Absolutely not. This is a future mansplainer and it needs correcting now.

Ah, don't be daft. It's just a normal life stage for most kids - I vividly remember doing it myself and it driving my parents to distraction 😂

Said colleague enjoys calling other people out but heaven forbid if he's on the recieving end. He has no known disabilities but j7st likes to be right all the time.

My 9 year old is like this too... She pointed out that we'd not be following the slow car if we'd left earlier.

I find beating her at her own game works well to derail. I also remind her about rounding for times, and thinking about what is "useful" to know which works well as she likes maths at school - again I give "too much" detail on a numerical answer (or just tell her the seconds as they change) and she realises why we do rounding. I find she learns better through experience than listening to me, although at school she's getting certificates for amazing listening!!!

I get that it would be harder to make the witty comebacks with a newborn - congratulations!

Oh we get that! If there is a traffic jam due to a crash it's "well why didn't you leave earlier?" Sorry, my crystal ball wasn't working 🙄

Could you redirect his attention? Does that work? So instead of focusing on the speed you're doing, play a game. Who's first to spot a yellow car? That kind of thing. Keep his attention but outside the car. Can he count churches on your route? How many had pointy steeples and how many were square steeples?
What do the different road markings mean? Can he spot anyone parked on double yellow lines? This may not be a good idea if he's likely to wind down the window and tick them off, but you get the gist.

A nuclear bomb couldn't redirect his attention 😅

I usually end up reminding her that she was distracted getting ready (wrong shoes for tennis, too busy playing to listen to my request to get ready...) so if she'd been paying attention we'd be on time and her faffing "stole" the "what if" time.

I don't think it helps that this age were all starting school/activities in COVID when suddenly getting somewhere early was considered a problem so got used to aiming for "on time" rather than 5-10 minutes early!

I also use the Crystal Ball phrase!

'That would have put us right in the middle of that crash, wouldn't it?'

I have actually said that and I got back "well you should have left enough time to get there before the crash happened". He will outlive God to get the last word in.

It's a phase. Just like the "Why" phase. Sadly I have no real advice for you, apart from reciting the "this too shall pass" mantra. You have my sympathies.

I was going to make a post about my 6 year old doing this.
All said with an air of arrogance and consternation.
It’s driving me mad!

I'd tell him very very firmly to stop correcting me. If it continues there should be consequences.

I clicked on this thread to see if I could get some hints and tips on how to handle a 13 year old know it all teenager! Spending the day with them next week before they go back to school and know I'll get it constantly all day.

They know EXACTLY how a plane works, for example... they're going to be SO good at this activity they're trying because they have read up all about it, etc, etc. Yes, yes, I know there's rules - I've read them all already...

Little do they know, but I am totally awesome at the activity we're doing next week, so they're in for a bit of a shock!

Meanwhile their 11 year old sibling is also in the backchatting phase where he would argue about the time.

There is a reason I'm only taking one of them at a time!

I had one like it.

Step one was explaining the concept of Significant figures and relativity to the duration. This gave her lots to contemplate/me a break.

For Step two, I asked her if she could turn her powers of prediction towards working out what would happen if she continued to irritate me by constantly telling me I'm a bit rubbish, compared to if she were to smile sweetly and said 'Yes Mummy, love you Mummy'.

...

...

'Love you, Mummy'

Smart girl.

I’m going to gently go against the popular opinion, that this isn’t a general phase that most children go through and it does need some age appropriate correction.

Im bristling just reading it. It’s rude and the child should be made aware and asked to stop.

”it’s rude to constantly correct people, please stop” “I was speaking generally about the time, please don’t correct me all the time I find it frustrating” “The exact colour of the car isn’t important to the story, please let your sister continue, it’s rude to interrupt” or “In her opinion it is a blue car, some things are subjective. Please stop correcting people, you don’t always know best and aren’t always right’

I couldn’t leave this unchecked.

I don't mind it sooo much when my 9 year old pulls this shit with me.

But she also nitpicks constantly at her 7 year old brother, who of course rises to it and then ensues a 5 minute squabble about absolutely nothing.

So OP, there's the benefit of an 8 year gap. At least he can't be a dick to your baby and he'll probably have grown out of this phase by the time the baby's old enough to be corrected.

This actually made me snort tea up my nose. Oh dear OP. It is very funny to read but annoying as heck to live with.
He sounds smart. And needs to go back to school hahahaha

I think to be fair most of us with kids in this stage/of this personality have said we are doing this, but 8 year olds aren't renowned for changing their behaviour overnight, even with the best possible parental correction. Especially when they "know" they are right and we are just soooo wrong... Trust me, the phrase "it may be right, but is it helpful?" is on repeat in my house

OP I laughed out loud at your "he would outlive God" comment. We have the same child 😂

Hi OP - similar situation - I have a 10 year old DS and now 19 month old DS2. Big gap due to secondary infertility and multiple MCs also. My 10 year old has always been (I can’t think of a kinder way to say this) quite obnoxious but it definitely cranked up a gear when his brother was born. I think it’s their way of asserting authority and possibly ‘look at me, remember how clever I am’ 😂

No advice as he drives me round the bend with it. He corrects his teachers, corrects both myself and DH constantly. He asks us daft obscure questions he knows we won’t know the answer to so that he can act all superior. In the most part I ignore it completely. DH has much more patience for it than me and will engage with him but I don’t have the capacity and especially didn’t when DS2 was tiny! Sending strength!

It is perfectly reasonable for people to post that a behaviour from our children drives us round the bend. It is a relief to get some moral support, read funny stories and to learn something. However I do know turquoise is a shade blue , cerise is a shade of pink and jade is a shade of green. Honestly though he sounds like a dulux paint chart , I just thank God that he hasn't come across a farrow and ball one!
@Pluntolo I'm sure you can get a private diagnosis, but do you think it's dependent on the area you live .

Ofgs, am I not allowed to comment on boys without having it countered with, yeah but girls..... We're discussing your son, not your daughter.

@Pluntolo In reply to this that you posted earlier:- “I have considered paying for a private assessment but my understanding is that SEN support won't apply without an NHS diagnosis”

One of my children has ADHD. The fight I had to get the primary school to listen to my concerns was ridiculous. Ultimately we went private and he was diagnosed and treated. The school had to listen then and he now has an EHCP. My other child is ND too and is in the process of being assessed. He’s at secondary and the SEN team have been fantastic in listening to my concerns. He’s been on the radar despite having no “official” diagnosis (yet). Unfortunately in my experience you often have to fight and fight to get listened to. As pp have said, kids can mask very effectively (like my so far undiagnosed one). If you really think there’s something more then really try to get it sorted before secondary if you can.

I had a work colleague, delightful man whose son was very much a barrack room lawyer and didn't mind who he was, in his mind, 'holding to account' in any setting. Annoyingly, he was often right although was very much letter rather than spirit of the rule. No amount of careful parenting helped.

Work colleague then became the headteacher at the son's school. His relief when his son left the school was visible! Son went on to study law.

If I really wanted to wind my 8yo up I would park in the motorcycle only space at the swimming. (No motorbikes at that time of day). She would literally be screaming..

@Pluntolo He’s probably feeling a bit left out and jealous, too.
8 yrs is quite a gap , and he’s been used to a lot of attention, naturally.

Try tailgating on the motorway to see if he says

” Only a fool breaks the two second rule!”
🤣