Know it all child!

[Pluntolo]

Trying to be patient with my 8 year old DS as I've just had a baby (same Dad - massive gap due to multiple miscarriages) so I know he will be feeling weird but I'm running on minimal sleep so as a result my tolerance levels are on the floor - he is SUCH a know it all it drives me nuts. He has to correct me about absolutely everything. If I say the time is 2.30 he will say no it isn't, it's 2.28. If I'm driving and we are in traffic he will say why are we going so slowly, you should have gone x way instead. If I close my eyes while feeding the baby he will say you're not meant to go to sleep (I'm obviously not asleep). If I say something to him and he asks me to repeat it and I can't remember EXACTLY what I said word for word he has to correct me.

It's driving me demented!! Is it an age thing?!

Oh, OK - adult with Asperger's here 😁

I can’t work out the link but it’s by The Occuplaytional Therapist titled Lawyer Stage

I know people hate saying this and I'm one of them!!!!....

It could be his age or it could be autism. I'm autistic. Maybe he is being factual instead of rude. If that makes sense. Still annoying though I agree.

My dd does the same when I tell her the time.

Haha I usually love her quirks as we call them. Though I did tell her I’ve been walking for 44 years and have survived..I’m pretty sure I’m walking perfectly fine 🤣

I’m naturally a bit of a smart arse myself so I used to use this as a chance to debate knowledge.

”You are right - it is 4:31pm not half four. However, the problem with saying 4:31pm is that it implies a level of accuracy that is difficult to get with time. Because - look! - it is now 4:32pm so your time is now wrong. But it is still about half four. So mine is still correct. If I was working on a NASA spaceship then it isnimportant to say 4:31pm. But if we were trying to decide whether to start making dinner then about half four is accurate enough. When else do you think that it is important to get time completely accurate?”

I think that I might be evil. 🤣

He's definitely on the spectrum but school won't support a diagnosis because he behaves himself and does very well academically.

Absolutely not. This is a future mansplainer and it needs correcting now.

Whoever decided it would be a good idea to display the speed of the car in the middle of the dashboard was a twat and clearly didn't have kids...my kids are constantly commenting on my speed and every other aspect of my life. We call the 14yo King Pedant because he corrects every little mistake.....I take great delight in correct back now he is old enough to handle it and laugh about it. I particularly like the correcting the time ones. You have my sympathy op, it does get better but at that age it can be quite hard work. Just correct him back "Yes, you are correct butwell most adults round up to the nearest 5 mins....can you round up these times?" Then just fire times at him. If he is telling you not to sleep or how to do things with the baby I'd suggest " DS, please can you remember that I am an adult, I lived for x years without you, I grew you in my body and raised you and now I am doing the same for the baby.....I do know what I am doing. I am also incredibly tired because doing all of this and still looking after you is very hard work, so if I shut my eyes for a moment, it's fine, if I make a mistake when I am speaking, it's fine. What would be really helpful for me (and very grown up you) is if you stop correcting me every single time.....do you think you could do that for me? "

What's the big deal? Enjoy him as he is, he will grow out of it.

God there's always one of the cherish every momenters isn't there. Just like I should cherish every moment of my newborn being awake all night. 🙄

Yes it's an age thing, I have parented an 8 year old and worked with many many children around this age.

it's annoying, I'd definitely address it, explain that where yes they are correct it's 11:28 not 11:30, it's impolite to pull people up on every little thing. I used to have "a chat" where I'd explain how it feels, he will grow out of it but I can imagine it's very annoying when you're sleep deprived.

xx

Plenty of people saying their DDs do it too (my 9yo niece is terrible for it actually) but naturally someone on MN would make it into a sex issue.

FWIW my DH never corrects me, I don't think he would dare 😅

It doesn't hurt to be more light hearted. Not everything has to be a big deal.

Ds1 aspergers & ADHD know it all at 8-10 years
Ds3 Is know it all at 8-10
Dd1 know it all from birth
Ds4 know it all from 8
Ds5 know it all pending
Ds6 fi ne at the moment
Husband Aspergers never ending!
Me 🤔

I'm just on MN having a rant, not swooning in the street over it.

I have a pupil like this. Corrects absolutely everything. And she's not even right most of the time, just has to contradict me, no matter what I say. I have to keep patience, but it can get very very trying sometimes! So I feel your pain!

@Pluntolo

My dd has been on the waiting list 3 years. Can you try a different teacher?

Oh cripes you have my sympathies!!

Oh God since getting a phone, my DD uses google maps to tell me l am going too fast, too slow etc. I block it out now so she gets no reaction which usually puts a stop to it.

I have said to her many times, just because l am not arguing with you, it doesn't mean l agree, l just can't be bothered to get in a dispute.

I've tried a few sadly. I think we will encounter problems when he gets to secondary age. He is so afraid of getting in trouble that I can see him really struggling with all the rules.

He is impeccably behaved at school so no one thinks there is a problem.

Right, so you’re actually getting cross with a child for displaying fairly common traits of their disability? Would you get wound up by a hearing impaired child who didn’t come when you shouted them for dinner?

Your newborn is not his fault, you turned his life upside down and he’s coping in ways that are merely annoying - he’s not being destructive or attacking his sibling. I don’t allow backseat driving from my autistic child because it’s dangerous, but if DC corrects my timekeeping to 2:28 or whatever I just say “oh, so it is” and move on. I find DC’s pedantry annoying, they find my inaccuracy equally annoying and difficult - they aren’t doing it to be rude or get one up on me, they genuinely think they know I’m wrong and they don’t deal well with things being wrong.

I have one of these too OP. He is 12 now and is slowly improving.

Here is a meme to get you through.

I'm neurodiverse too, it doesn't give carte blanche for people not to get annoyed with me when I am behaving in an annoying way (ie - interrupting constantly - thank you ADHD). I don't show him I am annoyed with him, it just silently drives me nuts.

And it long preceded the baby!

I agree. You need to say to him you are being extremely annoying. Please be quiet.

I have found that around that age children, boys in particular but not exclusively, get a heightened sense of injustice…but mostly where it affects themselves.

Some of it can be down to language. For example, when they ask the time say it’s about 2.30 because you’re rounding up/down which ties in with what they’re learning at school.

Validate his responses but add on turquoise is in the spectrum of blue so you’re both right.

Don’t forget that he’s testing boundaries and there’s probably plenty of examples where you’re (as any parent) correcting him. He’s modelling the behaviour he sees but doing it like an 8 year old

Easier said than done, I know!