Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

You need to get on the phone to sixth form colleges and bargain hard for what courses he might want !

I am 47 and also from an academic family. I had ..undiagnosed at the time...adhd ...and scraped 5 gcses and failed maths. I only just got into 6th form but....from that point on it was a different story. As soon as it was pnlh 3 subjects I could cope.

I really think the gcse system suck. Why should your son be judged a failure if he was in top sets ?? Sounds odd.

Please help him see life takes many paths and he will be fine. Maybe he isn't the type who found doing 10 subjects easy but will do better n9w this is out of the way

I think you need to rethink how you are dealing about this. Your family being academic has no bearing on your son. He has done brilliantly and you should be proud of him. You are coming across as quite snobby in your post. I hope he’s OK.

@Kat29

Two years ago my son didn't do as predicted in his GCSE's. He didn't get above a grade 4, with a 3 in geography which was by far his strongest subject.

Anyway, he went to college instead to do a Btec and is going to uni in September having achieved higher grades than his brother who did A levels.

He loved college as it gave him more freedom than 6th form and they were treated more like adults. He liked that there was some home study and made lot of new friends.

I know your son will be disappointed as was my son, but he knows he doesn't perform well in exams and course work is much better for him. Possibly this is the case for your son?

I know he won't be thinking very positively but there a many things to be positive about.

Good luck to your son.

My son didn't pass any GCSE'S last year - he is not academic but was predicted 4s and achieved 2s & 3s. He wanted to do an electrical course at local college but didn't have the grades. He was offered an alternative course that he wasn't keen on and because of poor results was put on a L1 course. In his words this was for the divs and thickos who were at college because they had no other option and didn't want to be there.

Within a couple of weeks he was moved to L2, has passed the course - resat his maths and English and is starting L3 in September.

GCSE'S are a snapshot of time and a lot can change in a year. Where he /you hoped he would be in September has changed and it will work out in the end.

Good luck over the next few weeks.

Well, he hasn't done "brilliantly" - that's the point of this thread!
However, it's not the end, he'll just need to go in a different direction, some good advice from pp.

What was he hoping to do (sixth form and beyond)?

Apart from Maths and English, what are his other passes in?

Please don’t despair. GCSEs are stepping stones. Ones he’s stepped across the next one, they become increasingly irrelevant. There are also a lot of non-traditional routes to success. This might be an opportunity to drill down into what he is passionate about. Your path doesn’t have to determine his.

If he’s prepared to work hard, he can pull back from this. My son was really badly behaved at school, didn’t pass a single GCSE, and didn’t even turn up to one exam. Anyway, he came to his senses a year or so later and did re-sits. To cut a long story short, after being a patient transport driver, he qualified as an Emergency Care Assistant and is just about to start his third year of his paramedic course at uni. It can be done 👍

Instead of being disappointed at what he didn’t achieve, be proud of what he did achieve!!

That's excellent! Well done to him!

As others have said it is good that he passed maths and English. Does he have a specific plan for what he wants to do in the future as there are often other ways into different courses and careers. For example, I am tutoring a student who needs to pass a science access wxam to get into a teaching degree as she didn't get the GCSE she needed.

There is also the option of retaking a GCSE or two privately. He might feel he could study for this independently, or you might think about getting him a tutor. Having another pass or two would probably open up more options for him

Finally, remember that this won't necessarily correlate to his future success. I am very academic and a teacher and so obviously a massive fan of education! However I achieved the best GCSE, a level and degree qualifications of all of my peers. I definitely don't earn the most and I am mot the most successful career wise.

Sorry to hear that OP, and for your son. I agree with a PP about trying to encourage him to reflect on where things went wrong or seeing if you can get the papers to have a look at. Had he done ok in mock exams or does exam style of assessment just not suit him? It will be a tough few weeks but I think now more than ever before there are a variety of options open to him, especially if he's disappointed and motivated to push forward. One of my school friends was incredibly intelligent, flew through GCSE's easily with stunning grades but then coasted through A levels and got the shock of her life when she did really poorly. Not saying the same was true of your son, but just to reassure you that it was the making of her. She went back to resit, worked her socks off with retakes, her degree and chosen field and is now highly successful and respected in her work. It could end up being a good thing as he will look at educational options he might not even have been aware of before. Phone those colleges and see what's out there that interests him.

OP, GCSEs mean nothing. Provided he’s got his maths and English, he will find a course he can do and then more options will open up.
GSCEs just give you an open door to A-levels, but I regularly told my kids when I was teaching that if one door closes, just find another one and bang it down. There are more options than ever before.

Nobody in the wider world cares about GCSEs other than Maths and English. Too much emphasis is put on these ridiculous exams (and I say this as an ex teacher!)

The world is a big place and there are so many more options than the conventional route.

“Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Honestly as disappointing as it is, it’s not the end of the world. There is ALWAYS something for them to do, college course, BTec, and the fact he has English and maths is a huge positive.

I am also a big believer in you learn more from failure than you do success, be positive, rally round him. My brother failed all his GCSE’s apart from drama. He did BTec foundation business studies for a year, then a two year business studies BTec, then went to Uni..

Good luck to you both

Have any of his teachers suggested a remark? Some of my students were only 1 or 2 marks off the next grade up so are requesting remarks of one of the papers. We do this each year and it almost always gets them that higher grade.

Try and remember in the long run this won't matter, my husband didn't get anything above a D in GCSEs and left school to work, he's now a successful business owner earning far more than me who did very well in GCSEs and a levels and with a degree.

Can he look at an apprenticeship?

This is a really unhelpful response.

It's got nothing to do with snobbery.

The OP's child was in the top sets and predicted to achieve a lot better than he did. We all want our children to achieve their full potential - whatever that level of potential is and its entirely normal to feel disappointed and concerned that he hasn't achieved the goal he set himself and wonder what options are available to him next.

If his predicted grades had been 4 passes, they'd have been thrilled with his results and they'd have already factored that into their next step plans.

Would he be interested in an apprenticeship? I'd recommend Plumbing or electrician. Every plumber and electrical I know earn well

Can I tell you something?

I got 4 GCSE passes back when I did them.
English lit, English lang, Business studies and Art. I felt like a complete moron, took myself off to go college, did a my one AS Level alongside a BTEC and I re did a couple of tests (no biggie, many do).

Now? With my resists I got into university and finished with a 1st in my degree, got my career and now preparing for a masters.

It does not mean the end of the road, it feels like crap at the time, but honestly there are options open.

xxx

Op, which A levels was he planning on studying?
Speak to your local colleges, as even if he starts on a level 2 course he can still
progress to a level 3 course and use this to access university or higher/degree apprenticeships. Also some colleges offer the opportunity to retake GCSEs.

My brother failed all his GCSEs and he earns a massive salary and loves his job now, don't despair xx

Don’t worry OP. Your sons success in life doesn’t hinge on passing exams. That he’s got Maths and English is great, as opens more doors for him. People put too much importance on going down the road of A levels and Uni. Unless you’re doing a vocation type course like medicine or law, a lot of courses at Uni are a waste of time, and school leavers attend for the lifestyle/social aspect. My son didn’t do well in GCSEs and only got English and Maths. I knew he was going to struggle as, although bright, he just wasn’t self motivated so I just tried to push the importance of getting English and Maths. He went into a job which he likes, his friend did two years at Uni doing ‘business’ and now works in the same role as my son, a few thousand pounds poorer with Uni debt. Sit him down, see what interests him that doesn’t require A levels, and make a plan. He will be fine.

I think I would be asking for the papers to be checked, sure he could have mucked up his exams through nerves or something only you can say if that is likely, but no system is infallible either. For it to be all of his results the error would have to be in some kind of database where grades are linked to his ID. And think checking the papers would reveal such a mix up.

You getting lots of practical and helpful advice here OP and that’s good.

i just wanted to say that I know how you feel - it’s sometimes like every other child is sailing through their GCSEs and getting all these amazing results and yours is the only one who isn’t. You’re not in the club and it feels shit and while they’re all sympathetic, you think that deep down they’re glad they’re not you.

I’m working very hard on all the positives and all the things people have said here but sometimes the worry is just so tiring.

Absolutely this, it’s a bump in the road. Only that.

breathe, this isn’t about you @Kat29 and you know that in the greater scheme of things it doesn’t matter and can be overcome.

speak to the college he wants to go to and see what options they can help with. Show your son how to be resilient.

when I missed entry for the course I wanted to do, there was a foundation course for a year that not only brought me up to the level, it actually helped a huge amount with the course proper.

Of course he’s disappointed and that is natural, but it’s not the end of the road, it’s just a different route, a different on-ramp.

Thanks

I'm a great flag-waver for the BTEC system, it can take you anywhere and offers an alternative approach to A levels.

A former tutor group tutee of mine in my college lecturing days did a 2 year HND in Biomedical Science applied to read medicine at uni, his entry via HND actually made life easier as he wasn't part of the mass of A level applicants. became a doctor, then a consultant.

Our paths crossed again a few years ago when he mercifully performed surgery on my kidney stone (ouch)

Don't get hung up on A levels, they are not for everyone, and if GCSEs haven't worked out, A levels are not likely to, so look at the alternatives, work out where you want to get and plan a route through. Which like my surgeon may still take you through the same road later on, but deviates for a while.

Good luck!