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Original poster

Tell me it'll be ok?????

57 replies

princesspadam · 17/08/2024 22:59

I e been under so much stress lately that it's kept me off work.
Next week I move out of the home I've lived in for 25 years, raised my family in
To move into a rental with DP whilst our dream home is being built.

I'm trying not to get too maudlin over it, but worried that once again I'm sweeping all my emotions under the carpet when they eventually come back to bite me on the arse

So please tell me your positive stories of doing something similar

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 17/08/2024 23:04

princesspadam · 17/08/2024 22:59

I e been under so much stress lately that it's kept me off work.
Next week I move out of the home I've lived in for 25 years, raised my family in
To move into a rental with DP whilst our dream home is being built.

I'm trying not to get too maudlin over it, but worried that once again I'm sweeping all my emotions under the carpet when they eventually come back to bite me on the arse

So please tell me your positive stories of doing something similar

You are moving to your ‘dream home’ and you are stressed about it???
Some people would give their eye teeth to be where you are! Sorry if you were expecting sympathy, but I just can’t give it to you. Count your blessings. Some of us have really important things to stress about, and moving into a dream home would not be one of them!

CrumpetsandJammmm · 17/08/2024 23:05

What is it about the situation you feel you are sweeping under the carpet?

Cas112 · 17/08/2024 23:08

I thought this was going to be something worse than preparing to 'move into your dream home'

Gorgeousfeet · 17/08/2024 23:09

Ilikeadrink14 · 17/08/2024 23:04

You are moving to your ‘dream home’ and you are stressed about it???
Some people would give their eye teeth to be where you are! Sorry if you were expecting sympathy, but I just can’t give it to you. Count your blessings. Some of us have really important things to stress about, and moving into a dream home would not be one of them!

Show quote history

Exactly this.

Cas112 · 17/08/2024 23:09

Your username is ironic 😂😭

cestlavielife · 17/08/2024 23:09

Whose dream is it? Yours? His? Both?
If it is your joint dream you should be excited ready to embrace rental for end goal
Aren't you lucky?!!
Is is just his dream?
What is dreamy about the house?
Why is it your nightmare?

Original poster
princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:10

That I'm giving up my home that was all mine
And going to live with a man again
And my safe space won't be here anymore

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 17/08/2024 23:10

So don't do it then.

Original poster
princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:11

cestlavielife · 17/08/2024 23:10

So don't do it then.

Thanks that's helpful

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2024 23:12

princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:11

Thanks that's helpful

Show quote history

What do you want to hear? If you have reservations about it, don't do it.

Madamlulu · 17/08/2024 23:14

God people are so bloody nasty.

It's normal to feel anxious about change. Hang in there and feel the emotions and live them.

You will be fine - this is SO exciting! Good luck!! xx

Fairygoblin · 17/08/2024 23:21

I'm feeling more empathy for your poor work colleagues who are presumably under additional stress having to cover for you while you are off work with the stress of having your dream house built 🤦🏻‍♀️

Original poster
princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:23

Fairygoblin · 17/08/2024 23:21

I'm feeling more empathy for your poor work colleagues who are presumably under additional stress having to cover for you while you are off work with the stress of having your dream house built 🤦🏻‍♀️

That's not the cause of my stress

You have no idea what I've been through recently and the toll it's taken on my mental health

But thank you for your frankly nasty and needless comment
I hope you feel better about yourself now

OP posts:
DorisDoesDoncaster · 17/08/2024 23:24

Sounds like you are giving up a great degree of your own financial security whilst combining assets (hopefully not all yours) with DP.

I would be terrified too. Hope it goes well!

Original poster
princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:25

Madamlulu · 17/08/2024 23:14

God people are so bloody nasty.

It's normal to feel anxious about change. Hang in there and feel the emotions and live them.

You will be fine - this is SO exciting! Good luck!! xx

Thank you, this was the point of my thread

It's a big step, change is scary and I was hoping for some 'I moved in with my new DP after a divorce and getting my shit together and yes it was scary but it was also the best thing ever'!

Or something along those lines

Thank you x

OP posts:
Twilight7777 · 17/08/2024 23:25

I thought this was going to be a ‘my first time living alone since I left my abusive Husband/partner’ story, (as my mother did) so no I have no sympathy for you.

Original poster
princesspadam · 17/08/2024 23:26

Twilight7777 · 17/08/2024 23:25

I thought this was going to be a ‘my first time living alone since I left my abusive Husband/partner’ story, (as my mother did) so no I have no sympathy for you.

Totally missing the point 👏🏼

OP posts:
claretblue79 · 17/08/2024 23:31

I haven’t got any experience of this but I just wanted to wish you well, OP. I’m sure it will work out fine. I find change hard so can empathise with you with that. I think you are being very brave.

ICDIWABH · 17/08/2024 23:32

Not really sure why people are being absolute dicks to you. You can still have anxiety about any big change in your life even if it's something amazing, even more so if you have other stress factors going on. Congratulations on getting your dream home, I hope it's everything you've dreamed off and more

mortgagefreesoon5 · 18/08/2024 06:59

Can't believe the lack of empathy from certain posters.
You are leaving your home, place where feel secure to something totally new. Your feelings are totally valid. Some of us are apprehensive to change however good might be.
My reply below comes from the point of view that i, n regards to this move, you both have the same vision, ie you haven't been coerce to move. Other posters might come along and advise better in regards of finances etc.

I will always love my first home. I was so upset to leave it. So, I would take lots of pics/videos of your old home/garden/you in your garden, by front door etc. take some cuttings of your garden for your new home. I thoroughly cleaned the old house from top to bottom, that helped me believe it or not. I properly said good bye to my old home and thank her for everything.I also left a card and a bottle of wine , new owners were extremely grateful. In fact she's become one of my best friends in the last 3 years.
My new home was more practical for my growing family in the sense that it was bigger, it had character as it was an old home but I missed my old home. Slowly but surely we put our own things in it, decorated, change the lighting , added some rugs and window dressings , even changed the used of some rooms, planted my new garden and kept moving furniture around till I was happy, it has taken some time but it is ours, not "finish" by any stretch of imagination though, but it has a lovely feeling, it is welcoming and it is our safe place.
Good luck with the move OP.

RobinHood19 · 18/08/2024 07:09

Wow are people empathetic on this thread…

OP, this is exactly why you feel like you need to sweep your emotions under the carpet. Don’t. It’s normal to feel worried about change, scared even. You’re not harassing people in real life and complaining about the move non-stop, so don’t feel bad for allowing yourself to share the negative emotions as well.

When I was younger I got my dream job, first try, didn’t even really “go” for it as I thought I was not qualified enough… I loved it for a few months, then fell into depression.

My life on paper was perfect - dream job, money was finally enough to not count every penny at the supermarket, I made new friends, I was living the life so to say. But I was SO unhappy. I also didn’t listen to that feeling right from the start… thus delaying the whole thing.

It took a long time to dig deep into what exactly made me unhappy, and even longer to start working out how to not freak out when things are about to change.

So my advice is to NOT ignore it, because that will just bring more anxiety. Good luck with the move and I’m sure all will be OK in the end.

okydokethen · 18/08/2024 08:16

I think it sounds very exciting!
I've done a lot of moves and builds and it's exhausting and chaotic. I advise having only what you need at rental and everything else in storage.
Take the build one step at a time and focus on progress not what is stressful. Have a catch phrase to tell yourself like 'this noise/mess/ means progress', 'every brick is one step closer', 'one day we'll sit here' etc
And take lots of photos of the process, it's great to look back on.
In terms of living together, this will be a stress test but with a great exciting outcome to look forward to.
Good luck!

Halfemptyhalfling · 18/08/2024 08:58

Are you peri menopause/ menopause? It makes you more susceptible to depression and manic depression. Maybe hrt would help www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0021xtz?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Loubelle70 · 18/08/2024 09:00

Ilikeadrink14 · 17/08/2024 23:04

You are moving to your ‘dream home’ and you are stressed about it???
Some people would give their eye teeth to be where you are! Sorry if you were expecting sympathy, but I just can’t give it to you. Count your blessings. Some of us have really important things to stress about, and moving into a dream home would not be one of them!

Show quote history

I agree. Some people are being made homeless after decades in a house, so id thank my lucky stars that you have a roof over your head, nm a dream house being built

Backtothedungeon · 18/08/2024 09:04

My concern here would be what is causing you to feel so stressed about it? It is obviously impossible to know, as you have given no details, but have a think about whether you are actually doing the right thing. The level of stress you are describing sounds out of proportion to what should be a positive change in your life. I think that is why you are getting such harsh answers.