Tell me it'll be ok?????

[princesspadam]

I e been under so much stress lately that it's kept me off work.
Next week I move out of the home I've lived in for 25 years, raised my family in
To move into a rental with DP whilst our dream home is being built.

I'm trying not to get too maudlin over it, but worried that once again I'm sweeping all my emotions under the carpet when they eventually come back to bite me on the arse

So please tell me your positive stories of doing something similar

I can't really see what's so stressful about getting excited to move into your dream home with your partner, I mean yes you may have anxiety and things to worry about but this situation seems to be a good situation to be in!

This is lovely thank you
I had already though about leaving the new owner a gift and a 'welcome to your new home' card

We've been building for 3 years but it's almost done
DP sold his house last year, and I sold mine this year.

And I know people are homeless / fighting a war / battling cancer, but you can't measure by degree!
I know I'm lucky, but that doesn't make the anxiety any better, or easier.
I'm sure people who are anxious about travelling or driving feel the same. It's not a competition

I certainly am and I've just increased my HRT so I'm hoping that'll make me a bit less crazy soon 😂

You must have good reasons for making the change - focus on those!

You're making a big leap out of your comfort into the unknown. You're anticipating two moves and a whole new way of living, plus if your house is being built you can't even visualise it properly.

I get it. It will all be marvellous in the end but this bit is scary. Of course you're going to feel all up in the air. No advice or experience to share but I think it's natural to feel trepidation. Enjoy your new home with your DP 😊.

Once you have experienced the break up of assets, struggle to start again it's natural to feel more cautious.

You have committed to this now so it must be what you want.

But are there steps you can take to future proof? Keeping own savings etc. I know some people see this as a bad thing as though you are expecting things to end but I think it's sensible planning ahead. Also make sure all legal things are up to date like wills, pension beneficiary etc especially if you are not married.

Yes this 🙏

Ignore the martyr syndrome olimpics, please! What a lovely experience shared by pp: focus on that 😊

It's a big step, change is scary and I was hoping for some 'I moved in with my new DP after a divorce and getting my shit together and yes it was scary but it was also the best thing ever'!

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed.

But can you seriously expect people to respond as above when your OP doesn't mention that's the situation?

You said your stressed, ,offing out of the home you raised your family in and into rental whilst your dream home is built.

None of us are mystic Meg. But we can be empathetic with the right information.

Moving house is meant to be one of the top 3 stresses in life. I think you allow yourself to acknowledge that and feel how you feel. And if it doesn't feel right then you can change your mind.

building this home together for 3 years

and still never lived together?

hedging your bets? what was the logic?

Why would we?
Neither of our homes were suitable for a blended family which is why we've built bigger

so you have children on both sides?

Almost all grown up now, but 5 between us

and all living with you?

You have felt wracked with anxiety about this move for a long time, is it not easing up at all?

I think most would feel very anxious putting all their money into a joint build with someone that you’ve never lived with before, so i don’t think you’re being OTT to be very anxious personally. And i’m not usually one prone to anxiety!

Oh god no, only 2 at home

It’s the only logical answer to your quandary.

Op received the same response multiple times on her other threads about extreme anxiety regarding this move.

Mind you, selling your beloved home and plunging all your money in to a build with someone you’ve never lived with…. is a massive risk!

Baffled why you’ve plunged your money in to building this big property when you have grown up children and only two still living with you and presumably heading off anyway soon

given your reposen to me on another thread, i’m guessing you don’t like me pointing out that i agree with you

i too would be bloody anxious in your shoes!!!!

Oh for gods sake... you've literally made this decision yourself, as a grown adult, over the course of more than 3 years. It's apparently your dream house but you're so stressed about it you're off work sick? Talk about bloody drama. With everything going on in the world, count yourself incredibly lucky and stop looking for sympathy or empathy from strangers on the internet.

Again - not off sick due to house move but thank you for the concern

if this has nothing to do with you being off sick for stress, then it was strange to include the detail it in the opening line of your OP about your house move 🤷

Sorry you're going through so much stress OP. When you're stressed change can feel incredibly hard. Have you taken pictures of every room/aspect/angle of your old home to make sure you can keep the memories alive? I don't have a great many pictures of my family home growing up, it was demolished during my 20s and I find some of the details starting to fade now (20 years later 😬) and I regret it.

I hope the move goes smoothly and your stressors decrease soon.

I think if you are this anxious OP and have been for a long time and it’s not easing up… it might be an idea to ask yourself is this something you actually want.

why building bigger if grown up children on both sides and only 2 still living with you?

I'm at the tail end of something similar so you have my sympathies.

It will be strange, difficult and disconcerting but worth it in the end.

Helpful or not, I think it’s a clear indication that most of us are fed up with what you consider to be a problem! If you are not sure, then don’t do it, but for everyone’s sake , stop wittering on about it! There are real problems in this world and yours isn’t one of them!