Home education- what do I need to know ? Realised I don’t want to send dd to school!

[Olivebreadandespresso]

Can anyone point me in the direction of good sources of info / advice ? My LA website hardly says anything !

dd is a June baby was prem and has SEN. I was unsure about school
anyway as she couldn’t manage nursery at all, we don’t have an EHCP and in all honesty I think she will be happier and healthier at home/ at home Ed groups etc being home educated at her own pace.

I just don’t know where to start !

Parents often have to appeal, but EOTAS provision via an EHCP does not require pupils to fail at other placements first.

Section 19 provision doesn’t either.

My kids do not have severe issues and I do have opportunity to work myself. If I was single and my kids had very severe issues which were not provided for in schools, what would be my choice?!

I know people who chose and still actively chose to homeschool. The kids themselves ( teens without any needs ) share they prefer being at home rather than in a school full with bullies

My stance is not original, revolutinary or anti social. One of my kids achieved miracles by being sent to school. However if suddenly a school presented a challenge rather than help, I have to consider homeschooling also

I don’t work and we get DLA and Carer’s Allowance, but my child goes to school. Frankly I need the break to be able to parent DS when he’s not at school. Carers need to look after themselves in order to look after who they care for. If you are exhausted now, imagine what is will be like as she gets older and possibly becomes more difficult to manage, you are with her practically 24/7 and you are also having to spend time obtaining resources etc to facilitate her education.

School is never going to be perfect, even a special school, but neither is homeschooling. There are pros and cons to mainstream, special school and homeschooling. Whatever seems to be the best compromise now may not be the best compromise in a few years time so do keep your mind open.

I found our local mainstream school was much better set up to deal with DS than preschool was, but ultimately it wasn’t enough and he is now in a special school. He did benefit from being at mainstream too though.

I don’t know the level of needs your DD has, but I think you may be surprised about how high her needs would need to be for her to be placed straight in a special school, especially since she is no longer in nursery. I think you may need to appeal to get an EHCP in place before getting a special school place. That could realistically still give you 18months - 2yrs before you even get a school place in which to see how you get on with home ed.

If you do think that school really isn’t the best place for you I would recommend getting an EHCP (even if this means funding private assessments and going to tribunal) and getting EOTAS. My son’s school place is around £90,000 per annum. You could not hope to be able to pay for the things he gets out of your household income, and what he gets doesn’t seem to be extravagant in any way, it’s just expensive.

You won't get much support on MN for Home Ed but you're making a very valid choice for your DD.

We home educated our DC from the beginning. Eldest two now at sixth form (one with mild SEN). Eldest predicted A*s.

My advice is to abandon MN completely for HE advice. Join the Facebook groups as there is an absolute wealth of brilliant advice and support from thousands of people on there. HEFA (Home Education for All) is a good one and search for some local groups as some areas are great for in person HE groups. Good Luck, it's the BEST thing we ever did!!

Having home schooled two through covid I can absolutely confirm this is not true

yes, but we discussed all this with others. So read the whole thread. Also, thanks for admitting your negative influence to your kids. This does make a difference.

The national curriculum www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-curriculum-in-england-primary-curriculum should help knowing with what you need to be teaching her if you want her to be at the same level as other kids her age.

Have you tried looking up Montessori methodology? This is a technique that is more about facilitating the child's own learning than direct teaching, which might suit your child. Getting the right equipment for this is expensive however. It sounds like the DLA payment is for specialist equipment so it's worth just checking you can still afford to buy any of this equipment you might need if you also had to purchase lots of Montessori style learning aids.

If you're on top of the teaching, then socialising with other children is probably going to be the biggest challenge.
Have you investigated local activities and groups that your child could join in order to get socialisation? Are there any that would cater to her needs (and not just be more like the type of environment you're trying to avoid by sending her to school)?

One of my kids, who was fairly average, was home educated and likely would have been okay at school, but preferred home ed.

My other child has special needs. In so many ways home education has been the making of her. It's a big stretch for me to imagine her thriving at school.

We were able to do everything at her own pace: socialising, academic learning, life skills. No one was pressurising her to do things which were beyond her, such as early toilet training, being away from her family, dropping her nap, or learning to read. Nor did I have to fight for her to be in the right environment. If I thought she needed something, I arranged it.

She wasn't in a class full of other kids of exactly her age who could all do things she couldn't do: writing and concentrating and sitting still, which the teacher would have indicated were very important. As a result, she grew up confident that there was nothing wrong with her. She now realises that other people understand complex ideas which she doesn't grasp, but that doesn't define her. Her self esteem was high, and still is.

I'll readily admit that my expectations of school are based largely on the experiences of children I've seen leave school for home education after being failed badly by the system, some of whom take years to recover. I'm also influenced by articles like this one in today's Guardian: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/aug/25/new-austerity-moment-fight-rights-children-special-educational-needs. The author writes, 'Last month, an investigation by ITV found that nearly a third of parents whose kids have special needs have had to use the law to get them the support they need, and that well over half of Send pupils have been forced to take time out of school. The local government ombudsman, Amerdeep Somal, recently told the Guardian that the Send system is in “utter disarray”.' Some parents have no choice but to take a chance on the school system coming through for their child. But surely those parents who do have a choice are being sensible to consider a different path in the first instance.