Home education- what do I need to know ? Realised I don’t want to send dd to school!

[Olivebreadandespresso]

Can anyone point me in the direction of good sources of info / advice ? My LA website hardly says anything !

dd is a June baby was prem and has SEN. I was unsure about school
anyway as she couldn’t manage nursery at all, we don’t have an EHCP and in all honesty I think she will be happier and healthier at home/ at home Ed groups etc being home educated at her own pace.

I just don’t know where to start !

I'm surprised that so many posters seem to automatically assume that school is better than HE, especially for a SEN child. I haven't HE, however, I do think my SEN child would have benefited from it. I personally needed the break that school provided though.

OP there are loads of great home Ed groups. I know quite a few families who home Ed and I've watched lots of them grow up and go off to college and university and thrive. The families who I've seen have kept their children in lots of after school clubs as well as joining lots of home Ed groups. They seem to be busy with different groups every day and they have paid tutors when needed.

When you work with SS and have responsibility for making sure dc are safe, there are concerns about some HE parents. It’s inevitable. The majority - obviously not. Never assume all is rosy though. These dc are rarely seen. Parents who reach out and seek like minded parents really do their best but of course there should be vigilance.

I home educate three children, and have done from the beginning. DD1 is high school age now and we're still home edding.

Things to consider are the following:

• What's your educational philosophy? Would you unschool or be very structured, or somewhere in the middle?
• The first few years of primary age most of the learning is done through play so that's fairly easy. The tricky bits are teaching to read, and teaching the basics of maths. Once your child has mastered those it becomes both easier and more complex. The good thing is that you can do it completely at your child's pace and there's no comparison with other students. If she struggles to pick things up, however, will you know how to find ways to help her? (The Facebook groups suggested above will be helpful here.)
• Are there lots of other home educators in your area? Again, as mentioned, Facebook is helpful here. It's great when there are other people that you can join for activities, days out and socialising. Home ed is a lot harder when you don't have that support, but still doable.
• What's your back-up plan if you find this doesn't work for you or your DD?
• Do you have a supportive partner, or a support network so you can get a break? Home education is all-consuming. You are with your child almost all the time, so having a way to get time to yourself is important. Equally, your child will need time away from you too, as appropriate for her age and needs.

Feel free to PM for any questions you might have. Two of my kids are autistic, but no learning disabilities as such. We're in Scotland.

Good luck with your decision. We love home education. It's a great lifestyle and my kids are thriving. But there are definitely days when I wonder why I thought it was a good idea!

Hi OP, I have home educated my dc right from the start, two are now high school age and the youngest is key stage 2 age. My own dc have thrived and 10 years into it I have zero regrets about my choices. That’s not to say that it’s always rainbows and glitter, sometimes it is hard. Of course as adults my dc will have their own feelings on it but so far they are happy and haven’t wanted to try school which they know I am open to them doing,

Mumsnet can be a funny place to ask about home ed. Orhers on the thread have suggested some good Facebook groups which are brilliant hives of information.

It sounds like you need the respite of her going to school. They will also be able to more quickly arrange an ehcp.

Yes I’ll look into everything, definitely feeling the exhaustion and anxiety.

I don't think that people are suggesting school is better. They're making sure the op is going into HE with the right intentions and mindset and is considering the future. Having an EHCP in place will help her DD if she attends school in the future.

OP your best bet is going to Facebook and joining Home Education For All (H.E.F.A), it's a great starting point group. Then you'll be able to search it to find groups more local to you.

But the big groups are handy for discussing your options, especially with SEN involved.

We always planned to home ed, but our kids needs mean that we do it differently to how we'd imagined. But there are so many opportunities available to us in our area and my girls could do a lot of activities if they wanted and were able to. We, like many others who would struggle with full on activities all of the time, tend to do a day out day in. We have groups and meets 3 days a week, and do quieter family/home based things on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It works really well for us and a lot of our friends do similar so we're all on the same page and organise things for the other three days. We facilitate rather than teach, which works well for us and a lot of others. Very few HE families follow a school like structure, but if you choose too then there is nothing wrong with that and there are groups on fb to help you discuss whatever way you choose to educate.

I think you'll get better answers on the home education forum.

Here, you will get judgment about what people think home education is and what it supposedly lacks.

It is important to figure out how you will get a break, because there will be times when you need it.

It does not have to be forever - I had a child who was in no way ready for school at 5, but was ready later on - another who struggled in primary but coped well in secondary.

Home education comes in many many different forms. It does not need to be 'school at home' especially in the early years. One of the big advantages for a child with additional needs is that you won't need to make her 'ready for school', you can just work with her on whatever is her particular needs at that time - not on what other people need her to be.

School has many good points, but it is also restrictive, focused on group rather than individuals and doesn't allow young children to move in the way that they need to move when they are small or provide access to outside / your community and the people in it.

Hi. No, I am married with a teacher, kids in mainstream occupation. I work with special needs kids

To this day and age when a mother feels she wants to home educated, I say: Go for it. You are the only one who knows best what your child needs.

We home ed our DD age 6 after she tried school & was unable to cope. The whole process of getting an EHCP, trying to get the school to make adjustments was so stressful. DD ended up in burnout (she’s autistic) & took months to recover. Lots of posters talking about EOTAS as an alternative to an EHCP but in my experience these are incredibly difficult to get until you have tried (& failed) at other placements. The aim is always to try a mainstream school with support as the first option.

I know this thread has moved on from this probably but I have to just say that this is rubbish.
There are plenty of scenarios where the mother is NOT the best environment for the child!
Abuse, neglect, alcoholism, mental health problems. Drugs……. Do you get my point?

@whyNotaNice

This is categorically untrue.

I work across both children's social care and education and in many situations children are not in the best environment for them at home with their mother!

Yes, not only this. I am married with a teacher and also myself work in a school with special needs kids

Well no, for most children school is the best place for education, if the right school can be found.

OP I know this thread is days old now and I don't know if you'll be coming back to it, but you cannot take a salary/pay yourself from your child's DLA, it is clearly stated in the rules of what it is to be used for. You just have carer's allowance as a salary replacement if you work less than 16 hours a week. The DLA payment is just for the benefit of the child - for specialist equipment/therapies/additional costs they incur and so on.

I’d try hard to find a specialist provision, even start her next year. Nursery is v overwhelming for most SEN kids, sensory overload. In a good specialist provision you’d have small class, more adult support, specialist teachers who provide a sensory & active play based curriculum in line with dc’s needs. School is a life changing opportunity if you can access the right resource. I totally understand your reasons but please don’t write it off when it could be the best thing for your child. Home schooling is fine if you are a specialist yourself and really understand how to meet your child’s needs in terms of their presentation and learning needs. Hope you get the support you need to move forward.

Yes. But this is not the case. And this poster wants validation because this is her choice

Dla isn’t being used to replace my income for myself it’s going towards household costs to facilitate dd now being HE to meet her needs / for her benefit so that I am able to be a sahm to do that.