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Help me think of a really good insult

89 replies

TheRozzers · 15/08/2024 19:22

It's for a bitter, spiteful man who is being awful to someone I love.

Borderline funny / insulting would be ideal.

So far I have:

Toxic old turkey
Spiteful knob brain

TIA 🙏

OP posts:
Ohdearyme72 · 16/08/2024 20:56

Muppet

KimFan · 16/08/2024 21:12

If your brains were dynamite, you couldn’t blow your hat off!

HauntedbyMagpies · 17/08/2024 01:01

My mum describes my uncle as "a fart in a trance"

coxesorangepippin · 17/08/2024 02:08

Limp dick son of a bitch

Cornecopia · 06/11/2024 00:14

Wisdom is chasing you-but you are faster

GoodyBag · 06/11/2024 00:15

Dickhole

Garlicpest · 06/11/2024 00:29

Courtesy of Wm Shakespeare:

“A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

“You starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!”

“I scorn you, scurvy companion. “

“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”

“Thou art a boil, a plague sore”

“Like the toad; ugly and venomous.”

“Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”

“Thou lump of foul deformity”

“That poisonous bunch-back’d toad!”

“You poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate! “

“You have such a February face, So full of frost, of storm, and cloudiness.”

I do like that February one 😄

Screamingabdabz · 06/11/2024 00:37

I would avoid anything to do with genitalia as men like that just think you’re obsessed with their dick.

I think something like… ‘you’re a pathetic waste of oxygen.’ If that’s too wordy I’d just go with the classic ‘massive cunt.’

ProvincialLady24 · 06/11/2024 00:44

Turbo Twat

SnowFrogJelly · 06/11/2024 01:01

International tit from the planet tit with a tit on your head

Babysharkdododododooo · 06/11/2024 01:03

TerrifiedandWorried · 15/08/2024 20:05

Wankbadger
Fuck nugget

Wank badger 🤣🤣🤣🤣

sprigatito · 06/11/2024 01:08

As much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest

Aria999 · 06/11/2024 01:21

If I wanted your opinion I'd ask for it.

No, scratch that. I will never want your opinion.

ARichtGoodDram · 06/11/2024 01:26

One of the best put downs I ever saw was from a woman in her late 60s/early 70s to a much younger guy who was just being utterly foul to people.

She just sighed, like a sad sigh, and said "Your poor mother. I'm sure she had such high hopes for you when you were born."

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